Supermarket commercials usually advertise fresh food, but this one for the U.K.’s MySupermarket.com is all about the fresh clients. In the funny ad, a British hottie starts a sexy/gross food fight after seeing his wife bent over the refrigerator. Let’s just say, it begins by asking “How low can you go?” and then ends with sausage. [Ad Week]

 

It’s hard to believe that such an artsy and intelligent-looking illustration (above) is an Italian ad for Durex, especially when you learn that the same company has also used foul and degrading imagery to advertise its products. We like our condom ads the way we like our men: classy, not crass.

If you’re into computer games and contraception, play Durex’s “Egg Invaders,” where you “protect your egg from hordes of rampaging sperm eager to get their pointy teeth into your jelly!” Sadly, it only works on PCs. [EternallyCool.net and Durex]

Male spiders who play dead double their chances of getting lucky, according to a study in Behavioral Ecology. The spiders studied all tried attracting partners by offering food held in their mouths, but the ones who laid flat and motionless were in a better position for sex, literally. This is the first time researchers have observed creatures “playing dead” as a way to get sexual favors. [AFP]

Got cramps? Acupuncture might help reduce the pain without the side effects associated with pills, according to a new German study. Hopefully reworking your qi will make you less cranky, as well. [Reuters]

An ad for a sports broadcaster that refers to a woman’s breasts as “puppies” has been cleared by an advertising watchdog. The ad depicts a man telling Santa Claus what he wants for Christmas, as one of “Santa’s helpers” looks on. The man looks at the woman’s breasts and says, “Couple of puppies,” then an announcer says, “...Give him what he wants this Christmas.” [Digital Spy]

A man who took too much Viagra (that he bought on the Internet, mind you) claims he has only been able to see the world in shades of blue, a known possible side effect, for the past two weeks. “I admit I ignored the advice on the packet. I was having too much fun,” he said. “But I’d give up all the sex in the world to be able to see a red letterbox again.” [Telegraph, U.K.]

Seasonique, the birth control pill that makes women menstruate only four times a year, is being marketed to men. Ads have appeared in laddie magazine Maxim, which is known for its frat-bro attitude and bikini clad spreads, and Spike TV, the channel dedicated to a Late Night Strip Poll. Apparently, the execs marketing Seasonique think guys who like those brands are getting laid, but they’re trying to stop them from spawning.  Those men—who are seemingly fascinated by a poop that can kill—are surprisingly grossed out by Aunt Flo coming to stay five days out of the month. Maybe that’s why Seasonique is hoping to get these men to talk to the women in their lives about using their form of birth control. Although the dudes may think they’re in some great hush-hush scheme to banish Aunt Flo, the joke is on them since the same ads are also running on Lifetime. Ha!  Ain’t nothing gonna cramp a ladies’ ability to choose her own birth control. Period! [Marie Claire]

Just looking at those lovey-dovey eHarmony commercials, where couples joke about their “connection”, would make any single gal feel like her love life is dialup while her relationship counterparts have DSL. But apparently the spinster club has more in common with joy stick jockeys than we ever knew. A new ad for Electronic Arts Burnout Paradise, a video game car derby, has spoofed the giggly eHarmony ads. The clever double-entendres and cheeky puns will have you laughing harder at these commercials than you did the last time you got “winked at.” [Ad Week]