You might not have been splitting with someone when we started our 30-Day Breakup Guide at the beginning of the month, but if you are now (or do at some point in the future), don’t forget to follow our step-by-step instructions for how to get over him. Moving on from a relationship can be tough, but forcing yourself to go through our daily to-do list for a month will motivate you to pull yourself together in no time—or at least distract you from the deep emotional pain you’re feeling for 30 days.

Calmly Move On (Or at Least Look Like It)
Today, you will make eye contact with an attractive man while walking to work, driving, or paying for gum at the 7-Eleven. When you’ve locked eyes, smile at him. Nine times out of 10 he’ll probably smile back, but if you get a dud, smile at the next hot piece. This is called flirting, which you might have forgotten all about while you were upset about what’s-his-name. As the cute guys pass by you right and left—in business suits, skater pants, polo shirts, or dark designer jeans—enjoy the scenery, because you’re back in action. Even if you’re not ready to date yet, you’ve done work on yourself. You’ve enjoyed your space. It’s called moving forward, and by smiling at a boy today, you’ll be doing exactly that. Congratulations.

Go To Brunch Alone
This is a bold step post-breakup, but you’ve built up to it. Pick a good restaurant in your neighborhood, bring a book or The New York Times, and order yourself some serious pancakes—and a mimosa, if you feel so inclined. Leave your shades on if you feel like going incognito. And then ... just be. Don’t worry about what the other tables are thinking. You’re here for some good food and the atmosphere. And to enjoy being a cosmopolitan single lady who likes French-pressed coffee with her morning paper. Cosmopolitan single ladies do not have time for self-obsessed jerks who are clearly yesterday’s news.

Get A Plant
Fine, so your last five attempts at keeping greenery died slow, painful deaths, but there’s always hope for new (plant) life. Hit up a garden store or greenhouse and pick out a small household plant in a nice, small pot. If necessary, ask the shopkeeper, “Which one will I be least likely to kill?” Then press him or her for some pointers on how to grow this sucker. Will you need to change pots eventually? Put it where the sun can beam down on it or in the shade? Water it daily or not that much? Keep the instructions in your noggin and then take your green friend home. You’re going to learn how to care for something that’s not a guy. Put your plant in an attractive location, and then stare at the new creature for a while. You’ll water it, coddle it, sing to it, or draw a sketch of it if you have to, but you’re not going to let this one die.

Get A Massage
Depending on your cash flow, book either a 60-minute full-body treatment at a nice spa or duck into a little manicure place and get a 10-minute shoulder rub. Much like Day 25, this is all about your body and your pleasure. Touch is a nice thing to experience, and that can come in many non-boyfriend forms: a hug, a handshake, or a trained spa technician beating the crap out of you via Shiatsu massage.

Rip The Golden Glaze Off The Relationship
You’re far enough away from the situation now that you’re allowed to go back and reminisce a little. But not about the good times, no matter how much you want to. Write down a short top-five list of times when he was rude, insensitive, or just plain mean. Like when he insulted your intelligence in front of a friend of yours, or that one oh-no-you-didn’t moment when he said something during an argument that you haven’t been able to forget since. You’re angry now, right? Mad. Seething, maybe. Tear up the list and throw it away. Now go outside. Walk or stretch or just stand there for a second and breathe fresh air. Repeat this to yourself: “For every man who would say those things to me, there are many who wouldn’t. When I start my next relationship, it will be with someone who wouldn’t.”

Masturbate
If you haven’t lately, try it. Repeat as necessary.

Go To A Movie By Yourself
Remember when your loser ex used to bitch about your taste in movies? Today, you’re disassociating movies in the theater from first dates and hand-holding, and you’re claiming the big screen for yourself. Go see a film that he would rather have to swallow nail-polish remover than sit through, a foreign film so you can brush up your hackney French, “Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants Part 347,” or the kind of explosion-loaded action flick that he always said was full of empty mind calories. It might be a little scary to go alone, so buy some M&M’s for a comfort snack. And popcorn. Or, better yet, put the M&M’s in the popcorn. They’re really good that way.

Stare Your Future Down
Today, you’re going to have a seat on a park bench, or look around at lunchtime, or keep your eyes open while you’re out shopping. Notice other women—young and old, black and white, and all of those other polarities. Check out how each woman dresses, and how she carries herself. Notice details, like the way she smiles or walks or talks to a cashier. Pick out an older woman, one who looks like you in maybe 10 or 20 years. Think about what her apartment might look like, who her friends are, where she likes to go on vacation, whether she has any pets, and what books are on her shelf. Imagine her life. It seems pretty full all of a sudden, right? Whatever you choose to do as a single person in these next few days or weeks or months will make up the person you are later in life. Take a second to appreciate your freedom from that guy and how fun it’s going to be to fill up your life, like she has hers.

Get Your Hair Did
You’ve had an appropriate post-breakup mourning period, so chances are you’re not going to do something outrageous, like try the Natalie Portman pixie cut that only Natalie Portman can pull off. That said, dip your toe into the crazy. Page through some mags to get ideas for what you want to do to your hair. Always wanted a red tint? Do it. Thought about bangs and a bob? The time is now. (If you’re short on cash, get a good blowout.) Another idea: Check out the weekly tabloid magazines and find a picture of an actress who seems to have it together (Cate Blanchett and Kate Winslet are good choices). Borrow from her look as an homage to coming out better at the end of this.

Give Blood
If there has ever been a chance for you to act both badass and selfless, this is it. If you’re healthy enough to give blood, be happy for that alone, and then go save a life. Eat and drink plenty afterward so you don’t pass out. If you’re not so good with the needles, throw a bunch of canned goods and/or old clothes (that scarf your ex gave you, maybe?) into the back of your car and haul it all down to your local food pantry and/or Salvation Army. Sadly, lots of people have it worse than you. You already knew that, but this is a tiny reminder.

Have A No-Chick-Flick Night
The terms “Julia Roberts,” “meet cute,” and “wedding” are hereby banned from your home starting right…now. You might feel tempted to watch “Clueless” or a similar favorite for the billionth time (you have Paul Rudd’s declaration-of-love speech memorized), but you will not. You will rent movies in which the heroine is a strange, or strong, or talented, or an ass-kicker. Because, let’s face it: Kate Hudson is a bit milquetoast, and Hugh Grant is kind of a jerk. Here’s a list to get you started:

• ”What’s Love Got to Do With It?” starring Angela Bassett
• ”Million Dollar Baby” starring Hillary Swank
• ”Jackie Brown” starring Pam Grier

Call Your Dad
If your dad’s not around, contact a favorite uncle or a mentor you looked up to during college or your first job. E-mail is okay if you’d rather keep it casual. Just say hi or give him an update on how you’re doing. Do not mention your breakup. Mention recent work coups or a trip you’re planning, and then ask him what they’ve been up to. You need a solid reminder that (many, if not most) men are genuine, and those you hold dear are invested in your well-being. Your ex wasn’t. But that’s starting to be okay.

Cook Something
Daunting, I know, but this is doable. If you have never so much as boiled an egg, you will do it today. If you want to kick it up a notch, try this: Either dust off your old copy of The Joy of Cooking, or hit up FoodNetwork.com for a quick recipe that sounds good to you. You’re not going to have a panic attack that “he” won’t like it, and you won’t have to cook around his finicky food preferences. Stop by Whole Foods, come back with the ingredients, and cook at a leisurely pace. Having Billie Holiday tunes coming from your speakers helps the process.

Fix Something
One of the most satisfying things a woman can do is fix something. It doesn’t take long, but the payoff is huge. You don’t have to build an armoire; just make something that you own work better than it used to. If you have a squeaky front door, buy a can of the wonder product that is WD-40 (over 2,000 uses!) and follow the directions on the packaging. Or finally nail that framed print to your wall, like you’ve been talking about doing since 2006.

Having a fix-it guide is a good idea for anyone. The Home Depot and Black & Decker both have solid home repair books out now. You need a man to do what around the house now? Exactly.

Sign Up For A Class
Even if the last time you were in an extracurricular class was when you were six years old and clutching the barre at Miss Lillycrumpet’s School of Ballet, you will sign up for something today. Feel like knocking someone out? Boxing lessons. Crave solitude? Sewing (you don’t even have to have your own machine). You’re not doing this as a step in a silly self-help book. You’re doing this to fill up some time, meet some people who are not your idiot ex, and maybe, possibly, find a hobby you like. Even if you never pick up another guitar (or camera, or French textbook) for as long as you live, you will have put yourself out there—even if failure is possible, if not probable. That shows some serious strength and character, lady. Enjoy that feeling.

Plan A Lady Party
Check your calendar and pick a date three weeks to a month from now, because you’re in no shape to do large-scale entertaining. Yet. What you can do, though, is plan a small party on that day for a few female friends. Sit down and plan what drinks you’ll serve (red wine or cocktails?), what food will go best (cheese plate or focaccia?), and what music you’ll play. Go ahead and make the mix CD, but there’s a catch: You can only use women artists. Select songs from your Bjork collection, dust off the Tori Amos tracks your insensitive ex made fun of, and, sure, throw in some Alanis, because we all know “Jagged Little Pill” stands the test of time. You now have a bachelorette pad. Is that cool or what?

Talk to A Little Girl
If you babysit, or have a niece or a friend who has a daughter—or you have a daughter yourself—this will be easy. Chat with the little lady over the phone or in person. Ask her what she did today or what she learned in school. If you don’t know any rugrats, try waving or saying hi to a little girl on the bus. That will be enough.

Now remember how it felt to be that free? Men weren’t part of the equation then. You ruled at math, practiced your cursive writing, and jumped rope 10 times in a row. You might have thought you could be a race car driver or an Olympic swimmer or a nurse. There were no real life rules—you just had to be in bed by 9 p.m. every night. Now don’t let your inner little girl down. Even if your workplace makes Dunder-Mifflin look sane, go to your job, be productive today, come home proud of yourself, and then go play somewhere other than your living room before dusk. Get your coffee-and-magazine fix at Borders, go jogging, or check out that pizza place you’ve walked by a billion times. The best part: No boys allowed.

Write A Letter to Your Best Friend
Forget e-anything. On actual paper with an actual pen, write a letter to your best friend. Include the nice things you tend to think about her character, thank her for helping you through this stupid breakup thus far, and talk about how much she means to you. Buy an actual stamp, and put the addressed envelope into an actual mailbox. You’ll be bawling into five separate Kleenexes by the end of this exercise, but you’ll also have a handle on the ingredients for the glue that holds a good relationship together. Gentleness. Trust. Unconditional love. Honesty. Forgiveness. You know now that he wasn’t equipped with the things you need. Why expect less out of your lover than you do a best friend? Sit with that thought for a moment.

Wear Something Pink
You don’t have to join a sorority; you just have to embrace your gender stereotype for today only. If you’ve hated pink since the day you were born and would sooner wear a nylon ’80s track suit than anything remotely frilly, you’re still doing this. Try buying a product whose proceeds go to breast cancer awareness. Or, pick up something easy like sleepwear or a pink-covered journal—or a whole freaking laptop if you’re feeling bold. The point is to look at it often and remember your feminine side, and that we women are all in this together.