Public Service Announcement: if you accidentally lodge a sex toy in one of your orifices, GO TO THE DOCTOR. A 50-year-old London man died this past December from septic shock after he waited five long days to remove a dildo he’d lodged into his rectum. Nigel Willis was too embarrassed to go see a doctor, though he was “dizzy, weak and unable to move,” according to ITV News, A friend finally forced him to see someone, but by that point, the dildo had pierced his bowels, leading to the septic shock. How horrible! I wish Nigel knew that a lot of people worry about losing stuff up there — tampons, condoms, even sex toys — and doctors have seen everrrrrything. Literally, everything. So, please don’t leave things sitting up there (wherever “up there” might be, I don’t judge!). Avoiding five minutes of embarrassment is not worth your life. Plus, you’ll have a really great story for your next round of “Two Truths And A Lie.” [New York Daily News; ITV News] [Image of a doctor via Shutterstock]
I have a friend who does bodywork — massage and chiropractic, basically — who is helping me to get through marathon training. This happens to be the same friend who’s training me in practical self-defense and who knows all about my traumas.
When he was working on my quads last week, I instinctively did what I always instinctively do — tensed up. “Agh, I hate having my thighs worked on,” I said.
“Yes, I’m aware of your safeguards,” he said.
“No, it just tickles.”
“Well, some people have physical safeguards and emotional safeguards. Just relax.”
And, it being for the benefit of my tired legs, I did. But it got me thinking about something I’ve been mulling over since I wrote about posting on Reddit’s GoneWild forum and my new approach to body image. Some of the feedback that I got was that I was unconvincing as far as my body positivity went, and that the GW posting would’ve been more interesting if I had been more upfront about overcoming body issues. Reading that made me think, Well, what if some women just don’t really have big problems with the way our bodies look? Keep reading »
One of the perks of working at The Frisky for the last six-plus years is that a lot of people, specifically a lot of strangers working at sex toy companies (and cannabis lube manufacturers!), have made it their mission to up my masturbation game. I’ve been sent tons of vibrators over the years and have happily given them all a whirl, so to speak. So what better way to show you the wide array of pleasure-giving devices on the market then to open up my very own box of toys. Check out part one of this very intimate episode of Funny Girl Sex Guide, and look for part two next week! BTW, this might be my favorite episode I’ve ever done. I just wanted to say that.
I consider myself a bit of a masturbation expert (i.e. I have spent a lot of my life single and horny) and have a sex toy box full of every possible vibrator you could imagine, yet I am seriously flummoxed by the point of the Glov, a new sex toy innovation. Wait, lemme take a step back. I was initially pumped by what I thought the Glov was for, as it was described by the Daily Dot as a “bionic glove” that “wants to change the way women masturbate.” I assumed that meant that this was a vibrating glove that took masturbating with your hand to whole new heights. I am firm believer that while vibrators and dildos and all that jazz are awesome, sometimes it’s good to go back to basics and use ye olde fingers from time to time, you know, just to keep them in shape. (I feel similarly about porn — great, if you’re into it, but to stave off a dependency, it’s good to take a breather from the hardcore smut and use your imagination during masturbation sometimes.) In my fantasies, the Glov gave your hand a little extra bzzzzzzzzz. Keep reading »
If there’s one thing we gotta be sure about when it comes to sex education textbooks, it’s that they can’t be too sexy. We wouldn’t would impressionable children getting any ideas that sex can be pleasurable, right?! Teachers and parents in Fremont, California, gave input leading to the purchase of Your Health Today, which will be used for ninth-grade classes. But other parents are griping about the book being “pornography,” cranky that the sex ed book is more appropriate for the college level thanks to drawings of anatomy and topics like birth control, foreplay and masturbation. And God forbid, it even mentions orgasms! Keep reading »
I’m so sick of men saying that all you need to get laid is “to be a woman.” If that were truly the case, would all women, everywhere, be getting laid at all times whenever and however they want? Yes. Does that actually happen in the real world? No. When it comes to this particular topic, guys don’t really know what they’re talking about. But, hey, if they want to think we have all the necessary skills and assets to constantly be getting some, then let them live with their delusions. Godspeed.
Since it isn’t always a piece of cake, I’m here to give you a few tips on the matter. After years and years of being single (I’m married now), I not only mastered the art of dating, but I got the whole “getting laid when you really want to” thing in the bag. Dudes are probably right that it’s easier for us to have no strings attached sex, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t require at least a little bit of effort on our part. Keep reading »