Remember how last week I said that I suck dick like it’s the last Talenti Salted Caramel Ice Cream Bar on Earth? It’s true. I just hate to live up to some ridiculous male fantasy of the woman who loves giving blowjobs … humble hair toss … but I am who I am. But while I genuinely enjoy giving head, I never assume that one technique pleases all. Oh yes, as Paul Simon might have put it, there are (approximately) 50 ways to please a penis — but here are just a few blow job techniques you may or may not have heard of (and should consider giving a shot)…
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How was your weekend? Mine was pretty great, except for the random moments when I would remember that rosebudding exists and I would start audibly gagging like a cat coughing up a furball. Which is awkward when you’re in public and the last thing you want to do is explain why you’re gagging.
Anyway, I have good news and bad news! The bad news is that I am writing about rosebudding again. The good news is that, according to The Daily Dot, this “trend” is so rare that it’s pretty much ridiculous to even call it a trend. For starters, a gastroenterologist told The Daily Dot that a prolapsed anus is not something a usually healthy person has and is most commonly seen in the elderly — therefore the chances that ladies with pink socks are running rampant in the pornosphere is pretttttty unlikely. Male porn star Christian XXX confirmed as much, telling the Dot, “No one can do it. You have to get buttfucked like 10,000 times repeatedly just to maybe prolapse. I can’t think of five girls [in the industry who can prolapse].” And what talented ladies they are. Keep reading »
When I broke up with my ex about a month ago, I was determined to rebound as quickly as possible. No wallowing this time; it was over and I was moving on.
It was almost too convenient that I was presented with an immediate distraction. Jack was someone I’d known for years; we were never super close, but he’s part of a circle of friends I’ve known since high school. I’d lusted after him for years, too. About four years ago, I even asked my boyfriend at the time permission to make out with Jack, just to “get it out of my system.” My boyfriend said “no,” alas, and so the pining continued. The timing had just never been right.
Until now. Keep reading »
American exchange students have a long, proud history of embarrassing our country while abroad. This chucklehead is no exception. An unidentified young man visiting Tubingen University in southwest Germany wedged himself inside a vagina sculpture called “Making Love” and couldn’t get out. He had to be rescued by five emergency vehicles and 22 firefighters, but not before a friend snapped pictures and posted them on Imgur. ”the fire department was not really amused and he was really embarrassed,” wrote the friend on Imgur. “But now happy that he is 1st on Reddit.” There’s always a silver lining. [Imgur via Daily Mail UK]
Prepare yourselves, kids. I’m about to take all the fun and romanticism out of beach sex. But I only do it because I care. There are things you need to know before you take the plunge into naughtiness on the beach. But if you read this article and still want to go for it, rock on. You’re braver than I. Read more on Your Tango…
Humans love sex, and humans love toys. Sex toys are a thing. We tend to think they’re alright, too.
But here’s the thing about sex toys: All the really cool (and really frightening) gear tends to cost you a big ol’ pile of cash. Have you ever wondered what an inquiring mind could achieve with just a few bucks in his pocket? Hey, here’s an idea: Why don’t we see what manner of crotch-fondling apparatus is prepared to jump into our slightly sticky shopping cart if we shop around with the absolute maximum budget of, say, $10 per product? Read more on Cracked…
This week, Alabama shook off a long overdue, ridiculous law criminalizing oral and anal sex between unmarried partners. The anti-sodomy law was mostly used to criminalize homosexual behavior, even between consenting unmarried partners (I probably don’t need to tell you gay marriage is not legal in AL). An appeals court overturned the law, citing the Supreme Court’s 2003 Lawrence vs. Texas decision that found criminalizing same-sex behavior was unconstitutional.
Now Alabama’s Attorney General (and owner of a perfect movie villain name) Luther Strange wants the appeals court to reconsider — and he may kinda, sorta have a point. Bear with me … Keep reading »
Yesterday, like a child who touches a stove even after mom says it’s hot, I read an article about a new “trend” in extreme anal porn called “rosebudding” despite being warned in the first paragraph that to proceed was unwise for those with weak stomachs. I almost vomited. Then, like a particularly stupid child who needs to learn a lesson the hard way more than once, I read a second article about rosebudding. And then, as Jessica stood by and watched on IM, I did some researching and happened upon a GIF of rosebudding in action and I will never ever ever ever ever ever be the same again. Take it from me, the IM conversation after the jump contains all you need to know about rosebudding — unless, of course, you could never resist touching the stove, in which case, get Googling fellow idiotic weirdos. [Vice via Jezebel] Keep reading »
Recently I got a chance to meet Isabel Dresler (safe for work), who I’ve taken to calling “photographer to queer porn stars.” She’s shot with some queer porn faves like Courtney Trouble, Dylan Ryan, Andre Shakti, and Siouxsie Q. We got to chatting at a shoot for the cover of the East Bay Express on the local porn scene, where Betty Blac, Jolene Parton and I helped fulfill her desire to have a photo taken while she was being smothered by breasts.
There’s an interesting combination of intimacy and high fashion that manifests under her gaze. I was curious to ask her a bit more about it, as well as why she decided to focus attention on marketing photos for sex workers. I liked how she called herself more of a scientist than an artistic photographer, investing her time in the study of her subject (which could be anything from insects to fancy homes). Everyone seems to be obsessed about the sex part of sex work, but it’s still work. As such, middle class indoor sex work often requires some practical and related investments: a decent website, a second phone, and, of course, some excellent photos.
Here’s my conversation with Dresler, after the jump: Keep reading »
Hey guys, a straight cis dude fucked a trans woman even though he knew she was trans. Isn’t that amazing? Should he not be awarded the Nobel Prize for Enlightened Cock for putting his dick inside a woman who used to have a dick? After all, “she said she had all of her lady parts” and she did so that’s totally cool, right, bro? Maybe this bro will score sweet tang off the Hampshire grads he meets in a nearby coffee shop, because Love. Anyway, obviously this is on Thought Catalog and obviously you need to read an excerpt, which I shall provide here:
…I thought she was attractive before, so what’s the problem? None. There’s a first time for anything, anyway. She rocked me and made me fee like a stud. She even cleaned my dick with a cold wet rag after I came. It was great. And then I left.
Keep reading »