Just kidding, this is not actually awesome news, unless you are actually the type of person who would want markedly bigger boobs for just 24 hours. According to the New York Times, women are asking for saline injections in their boobs, increasing their busts by as much as two cup sizes — but the results only last 24 hours. I’m tempted to mock this plastic surgery trend — which sounds really bizarre and questionable to me — because I can’t imagine spending that much money on something with such a short lifespan. HOWEVER! While I would never do or pay for such a thing seriously, I would be interested in road-testing the practical joke opportunities this presents. Perhaps my girls could get an injection just before a hot overnight date — imagine the look on some poor confused schmuck’s face as he realizes the D-cup breasts he motorboated at night somehow magically shrunk to a regular ol’ B-cup in the morning light. Talk about a cool party trick. If any practicing plastic surgeon wants to offer me a one-time freebie, shoot me an email! [NYMag.com]
You think your stomping upstairs neighbor is a problem? Imagine hearing apartment 3A’s squeaky sex swing at all hours of the night. A court in Munich, Germany, sided with a landlady for evicting a man who violated the “quiet clause” in his rental agreement by squeakin’ on an old sex swing after 10 p.m. and before 7 a.m. The chain swing made “sexual, athletic and squeaking noises” deep into the night, according to the New York Daily News. As a noisy woman myself, I feel for this German gent. But since the problem seemed to have been a creaky swing, why not attack that sucker with some WD-40? [New York Daily News] [Image of a woman on a swing via Shutterstock ... yes, I realize this is not what what a sex swing really looks like but it's the best stock image I could find]
When you agree to go on a show like VH1′s “Dating Naked,” you’re obviously agreeing to be, well, naked on camera. But New York model Jessie Nizewitz, who appeared in the July 31 episode of the show, is suing the cable network to the tune of $10 million for airing footage that she says shows her more naked than she agreed to. Nizewitz said that she was told her “privates” were going to be completely blurred, but as you’ll see in the NSFW version of the photo above, whoever was in charge of censoring naughty bits, well, missed a spot. Like, really missed a spot. In addition to the whole world (well, the percentage of the whole world that actually watches “Dating Naked”) seeing her chocha, Nizewitz says the guy she was dating (who she met clothed and not on the show) is ghosting her, while her grandmother is giving her the cold shoulder. “Obviously, I did not expect the world to see my private parts,” Nizewitz told Variety. Just the blurry ones. [The Superficial; Huffington Post]
“Kink,” a documentary about the porn web site Kink.com, debuted in January at the Sundance Film Festival. Yesterday, the film, which explores the largest BDSM online porn empire, released a new trailer in anticipation of a limited release. I’ve heard complaints about the film — it’s “boring” (which is unfortunately always something that some kinky folks say in order to be dismissive); it doesn’t address allegations of abuse at Kink.com — but I’ll see it regardless. Christina Voros directed “Kink” and James Franco executive produced, so you better believe I want to know how they handled the material. Also, this probably goes without saying, but the trailer is NSFW! [Queerty; First Showing]
There aren’t enough songs about blowjobs, that’s what I always say. So, for anyone who has never given a blowjob before — be you a straight male, a gay woman, or a member of the Duggar family — here are silly songstresses Garfunkel and Oates to explain exactly what goes through one’s mind during a beej. But I’m warning you: the ending is definitely NSF getting in the mood. [YouTube]
My tolerance for things that are scary/gross/weird is pretty high, but when I heard about the snake sex video that has slithered its way into the internet’s fascination today, my reaction was a whole lot of NOPE.
NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE. NOPE. Keep reading »