It’s tough to imagine an outdoor tryst ending much worse than this: at the bottom of a well, with hypothermia setting in. Where was her partner? Read more on Newser… [Photo: Natalie from "All My Children"]
A few months ago, I made a 100-point boyfriend checklist, and while some of the desired qualities listed were a little tongue in cheek, I was dead serious about wanting to find a man who would wipe his cum off me with a warm, wet washcloth. See, after years and years of being cleaned up by men clutching wads of cheap toilet paper, worn-out, dry washcloths, or, god forbid, MY OWN SILK SHIRT, the man for me will have the sense to wonder, Hmm, what would be the most pleasant manner of wiping away my splooge from the skin of the gorgeous woman I just made love to? Because any guy who did would not — would not – reach for the dirty sock on their floor. It’s up to you, fellas, what kind of guy you want to be, but for reference’s sake, here is the hierarchy of cum rags, in infographic form, according to me. You are so welcome.
It was only a matter of time before authorities found Kenneth Herold’s missing Rolex … in his masseuse’s vagina. Lady parts were not designed to be used as storage lockers, yet that hasn’t stopped countless women from stashing valuables in their front hole. Christina Lafave was one of those women. Keep reading »
We’ve all been there. You had a one night stand, engaged in spontaneous travel sex, or found out your significant other was a big, fat cheater, and soon after, something very suspect appeared on your nether regions looking like it may be an STD. Could that be a genital wart or is it just an ingrown hair? Is that razor burn or the start of a raging herpes outbreak? From the moment you make the scary discovery to the second you find out you’re a-ok, that, my friends, is what Hell feels like. More specifically, this is what that journey of panic feels like in GIFs… Keep reading »
“One thing I’ve noticed is now that I’m having less sex my body isn’t as toned. The more sex I have, the more defined my arms and stomach get…I always ask for a critique on my [sexual] performance. I always want to better myself in every way … I’ve had an orgasm in the air before. Alone. And together.”
Miranda Kerr, who appears mostly naked in the latest issue of GQ UK, doesn’t look like she’s lost much muscle tone since her split from Orlando Bloom, but she insists she has. Really, I’m more concerned with the idea of asking your sexual partners to critique your performance. So much room for error! And when she says she’s had an orgasm in the air, does she mean on an airplane or just, like, in mid-air? I’m sure there will be many volunteers to help Miranda get more sexercise the very moment the world becomes aware of her dry spell. [NYMag.com]
Job hunters, here’s one way to guarantee you will not find employment: attach a dick pic with your resume. We know this because, well, common sense, and a man in Dallas went ahead and tested this method out. His, um, credentials did not land him a job offer, but did earn him a class C misdemeanor for “obscene display or distribution” of his penis. Keep reading »
By now it’s no secret that women watch porn. Research has indicated one in three visitors to porn sites are women, and half of college-age women say that porn is an acceptable way to express sexuality. A British sex toy and lingerie retailer reports that 85% of female survey respondents admit that they watch porn as a “fantasy escape.” An additional 23 percent of women surveyed say they watch porn to relax. If so many women are watching porn, why is the overwhelming majority of porn made for men, by men? Read more on Your Tango…
So, you want to get deep on the concept of casual sex? Look no further than Collective Love, a site that searches casual sex classifieds (like Craigslist’s “casual encounters”) in your area and applies a markov chain algorithm to generate text using the ideas and feelings expressed by the ad posters. What does that mean exactly?
According to the website, it’s an attempt to use “the relative anonymity of the internet” to bring forth “humanity’s hidden thoughts” and extract “the semi-conscious impulses from beneath the veil of cultural repression, liberating long lost desires, giving them oxygen and sunlight.” Keep reading »
Have sex to save the country.
That’s essentially the meaning of the “Do It For Denmark” campaign sponsored by travel company Spies Rejser.
One of the ads (seen above) frets that Denmark’s birthrate is not looking so hot these days and is at its lowest level in decades. The Washington Post helpfully confirms that Danish people aren’t making babies like they used to, but the travel company sees hope in the tougher-to-verify stat that Danes have 46 percent more sex on vacation. Watch the full commercial on Huffington Post…