Only in Las Vegas would you be able to participate in a vibrator racing competition. At the first annual sex toy races, sponsored by German erotic toy company Fun Factory, gamblers were able to hit the poker tables and bet on which vibrator they thought had the most horsepower. My money’s on the pink one. Oh wait. They’re all pink. That could make for some confusion. [MSN]
Vegans have a bigger sexual appetite! That’s PETA’s new ploy to get us to stop eating/wearing/using animal products. And how do they illustrate their point? Oh, with a supercut of wild animals fucking set to the tune of “Teddy Bear’s Picnic.” I certainly enjoyed PETA’s “Do It Like They Do” ad way more than the 30 seconds I watched of James Deen’s penis plunging into Farrah Abraham’s butthole, that’s for sure. Still, it failed to convince me to cut all animal products out of my diet, considering my sex drive seems to be just fine. Sorry, PETA! But thanks for the animal sex! [Broward New Times]
A new survey done by a totally biased, “traditional” mattress company found that couples who sleep on memory-foam beds are having the shittiest of shitty sex lives. Some people surveyed described sex on their memory-foam mattresses as “stuck in quicksand,” “uncomfortable,” “difficult” or even “horrible.”
Well, that sounds terribly unsexy, unless you’re into S&M. But you just can’t trust this study because the market for memory-foam beds has jumped 20 percent in the last eight years, so these traditional mattress companies — like the one who sponsored this research — don’t really have your best, sexual interests at heart.
But we do! May The Frisky bureau of consumer affairs present a fair and honest review of all the mattresses we’ve hit it on. [9News]
So, YEAH. Señor Testiculo, which translates to Mr. Testicle, is the new
face balls of testicular cancer awareness. The Señor, created by a Brazilian cancer organization, recently made his first public appearance at an event run by the Associação de Assistência às Pessoas. After looking at this picture, I’m sufficiently terrified of both Mr. Testicle’s hairdo and by testicular cancer … and I don’t even have balls. Mission accomplished. [Huffington Post]
Yesterday, I took you on a journey into my bedroom as I attempted to get-off to the 5:12 minute clip/trailer for Farrah Abraham and James Deen’s hardcore porn “Farrah Superstar: Back Door Teen Mom.” You were there as I failed to climax, thanks to Farrah’s distracting vocal inflections (which I described as “a human speaking dolphin”), sex yelps and unoriginal dirty talk. I mourned that a man as talented in the sack as James Deen had been so poorly utilized. While I suspect we have many men to thank for the huge sales numbers for “Farrah Superstar” (which is already more popular than Kim Kardashian’s sex tape), James Deen is beloved by female porn viewers and I thought it was a damn shame that what I saw of “Back Door Teen Mom” did not allow his star to shine. Initially disappointed that “Farrah Superstar” had failed to please, I turned to the wealth of James Deen sex scenes available on the interwebs and went to bed content.
I made it clear in my initial piece that I was only really “reviewing” the clip/preview released by Vivid Video, edited to entice the viewer into purchasing the full shebang. Perhaps other viewers were as underwhelmed as I was, because late last night — journalism is a 24 hour job, people! — I discovered a full 42:55 scene from the video on Porn Hub (SUPER NSFW). Hmm, I thought. Perhaps I should give this another shot. A good journalist should never refuse the opportunity to review further evidence. Keep reading »
That potentially deadlier than AIDS sex superbug that you were up all night worrying about was so not worth losing any sleep over. Well, at least not this week. According to Dr. Kimberly Workowski, a professor of infectious disease, “The sky is not falling — yet.” Don’t worry, you fatalists, the sky will fall eventually, but our current state of panic over the superbug is all a big mixup, according to NBC News. Keep reading »
UPDATE: I have since viewed 40+ minute scene from “Farrah Superstar: Back Door Teen Mom” and have additional thoughts!
Last night, in the name of journalism — okay, I was bored and horny — I decided to take one for the team (that would be you guys, my beloved Frisky readers) and hopped in bed to masturbate while watching the 5:12 clip from Farrah Abraham’s sex tape, “Farrah Superstar: Back Door Teen Mom.” Or, rather, I attempted to masturbate to it. But I’ll get to that in a second…
Yesterday afternoon, I sort of half-assed watched the clip from Farrah and James’ porn and mostly felt uncomfortable because I was at work and I usually don’t like starring at unfamiliar vagina as my coworkers eat lunch around me. But I must admit, I was curious to give the video a closer looksie at home. Though I am a Manuel Ferrara loyalist, James Deen has, hands down, the best sex growl in the biz. His baby-faced boyishness makes it all the more surprising and hot when he breaks out the dirty talk and tit slapping. So, hey, a new James Deen scene to watch? Who cares if his costar is a “Teen Mom”? If she’s good enough for James Deen, she’s fine by me!
Around midnight last night, I kicked my dog Lucca out of bed and on to the couch (nothing distracts from a good solo sex sesh like a puppy trying to curl up under the covers), got out my laptop and my Jimmy Jane vibe, flicked out the lights for, you know, ambiance, hopped in bed and pressed play. Keep reading »
There I was, minding my own (lady-)business, happily masturbating with my Laya Spot, when the cat hopped up on the bed. He rubbed against my leg, purred, made eye contact with me. Held eye contact with me.
That’s it: the moment is killed. I can’t get it off when the cat is in my bed, certainly not while we’re making eye contact.
Unfortunately, domesticated animals are not the only ways Nature conspires against us from enjoying some very special alone time. Ranked from tolerable to worst, here are all the crappy ways to end a masturbation session:
Keep reading »