It was Valentine’s Day, and I didn’t have a boyfriend, which I was telling myself was actually pretty nice. The last boyfriend had gotten me a heart-shaped box of chocolates. I don’t like chocolates. I don’t like hearts. He had also written some ill-conceived poetry, comparing my face to the moon, or something. Or maybe he was comparing my boobs to the sun. Whatever. Keep reading »
Concierge. Chignon. Soirée. Saying things in French just makes you seem so fancy, right? Hate to break it to you, Nancy’s, purveyor of fine frozen foods, but your use of “petites bites” isn’t what you think it means. Because the French translation of this is “little dicks.”
Little dicks, big compliments? Well, that’s one way of saying size doesn’t matter.
The next time a guy complains about wearing a condom, flash him this picture — a condom made in 1860. The reusable condom is one of the more esoteric items found at the Ohio Historical Society’s “Controversy” exhibition. The rather life-like condom was made from either sheep skin or sheep intestine, and was, like many condoms of the time, designed to be reused. So yeah, Trojans don’t look so bad now, do they?
I’ve heard of women naming their breasts, but blogger Heidi Leigh took boob play a step further. She had the brilliant idea to dress her breasts up like puppets, or “buppets,” as she calls them. People seemed to enjoy her breast puppetry, so they started submitting their own buppets to her blog, Tit Thinks It’s People. Um, we think she’s onto something here. Apparently, there is way more fun to be had with our boobs. We should put on a buppet show! It would be the breast! Who’s in? Click through to see some of our favorite buppets. And obviously, though these breasts appear in costume, they are still NSFW.
Fact checking time! Mitt Romney hit the campaign trail in Colorado last night and referred to emergency contraception/the morning-after pill as “abortive pills.” This could be because he or his team genuinely doesn’t understand that emergency contraception (Plan B) and the abortion pill (RU-486) are two completely different pills. Or it could be because he’s irresponsibly trying to totally conflate the two for political gain, which I am sure would shock — shock! — you coming from an anti-abortion politician. (Is Mitt anti-abortion this week? I can never keep track!)
Let’s recap, very briefly: The morning-after pill prevents a pregnancy by stopping a woman’s ovaries from releasing eggs — which could be fertilized by the sperm and go implant in the uterus — as well as thinning the lining of a woman’s uterus so a fertilized egg cannot implant. The RU-486 abortion pill, on the other hand, ends an existing pregnancy — as in, the fertilized egg has already implanted in the uterus and a fetus is growing. (I explain it all in more detail in this post.)
See? Two different things, Mitt. Keep reading »
The following piece was originally published on The Fix.
Since I was 19, I’ve worked on and off as a prostitute in New York City. I learned a lot about men during my decade of escorting, from seeing the insides of their apartments and uncensored sexual requests, but it wasn’t until I quit drinking and using drugs three years ago that I began to notice that many of my clients shared a surprising characteristic: They were sober.
As soon as I was looking for the signs, it became obvious that I was seeing a disproportionate amount of recovering addicts. Eventually, I would start bringing up drinking just to test my own hypothesis. Over and over again, I would find out that the guys who were paying me to drool all over their junk had been sober for a decade or two.
And most of them were married, too, of course. Keep reading »