Last week, we learned that VD is for everybody. This week, in a World War II-era military training film, we learn that germs “may destroy your life” if allowed to enter the body. Happy STD Awareness Month, everyone! [There is a diagram of male anatomy, so this may be NSFW.] Keep reading »
I’ve been dating a guy for about a month and a half. Every thing is great — similar outlooks on life, we share a lot of opinions on things etcetera — except for one thing. In that time period, during our above average sex life, I’ve climaxed once. ONCE. His technique is just fine, but for some reason its not happening. Typically oral sex does the trick for me, but even that’s not working. Now I feel like there’s so much pressure on it to happen that it makes it even harder now. Thoughts? Advice? New techniques? — Have You Seen My Orgasm?, Brooklyn, NY Keep reading »
Have you ever dreamed that you slept with your father? Or rode a mechanical bull while a coworker watched? We have and were disturbed for months. Fortunately, dreams don’t always mean what you think they do, and having sex with your father is nothing to worry about, so long as it only happens in your subconscious. Here, we ask psychologist Veronica Tonay, Ph.D. to decode your crazy dreams each and every week, so that you can sleep at night, and dream some more.
THE DREAM IN QUESTION: I was an actress in a small ensemble group. I found a note saying that someone was going to kill me in the performance. I think I knew who sent the note and it was another guy in the cast. My boyfriend was also in the cast. So, at our meeting before the show, I told everyone that I found this note (because I thought that if I put it out there, the guy would know that everyone knew someone was going to try to kill me). I made eye contact with him when I was reading the note, and he gave me a creepy look. After that, the director told me he thought it would be best if I just went ahead with the show and everyone would be on the lookout for the killer. So my boyfriend and I started to go back to the hotel we were staying at, and on the way back I told him I thought we both needed to get out of there. We were going to run back to the hotel and get all of our stuff and leave town. We just started running, through parking structures, up and down the stairs, across the rooftops (it was really scary) and then I woke up and realized it was a dream. — Don’t Want To Die, Portland, OR Keep reading »
Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall people in a single bound….no it’s not Superman. It’s super bacterium gonorrhea! The microscopic crotch grabber is the strongest organism on the planet and much like promiscuous lovers, it can pull more than its fair share of tail, or, in this case, pili. Forget about bending steel, these little bacteria buggers can drag 100,000 times their body weight which is basically like a human hauling 22 million pounds of crap (or Carrie Bradshaw’s shoe rack). Keep reading »
I will forever associate my virginity with toads. No, this is no allusion to fairy tales, no delusions of princess-like grandeur. To my grave disappointment, at no point during my epic virginity-losing did the pimply faced amphibian straddling me morph into a dashing prince. The reason I associate my deflowering with toads is because instead of a Bon Jovi ballad or a sweet Sarah McLachlan serenade, I lost my virginity to the unlikely ribbits of toads.Namely those in that famous Budweiser commercial â€“ you know, BUD. WEIS. ER.
Romance, bitches, is not dead. Keep reading »
Uh, I think I might be pregnant. What are the earliest signs of pregnancy? How soon after conception will a home pregnancy test work? — Bun In The Oven?, Burlington, VT
The # 1 sign of pregnancy is a missed period. It might sound super obvious, but unless women are on the pill they can sometimes miscalculate their period and not recognize when they’re late. Other early symptoms include breast tenderness, darker areolas, morning sickness (aka vomiting or nausea), strong aversions to smells and foods, general fatigue, low back pain, constipation, and frequent urination. Keep reading »
For the week of April 14-20, 2008
Aries (March 21-April 19)
They’ll be no shortage of lust in your life. However, let him step it up by the week’s end and prove to you that he’s worth it. Yes, seems overnight, your standards have shifted and it’ll take more than a pretty face, but a MENSA membership to get into your pants. Thankfully, this means all you have to do is sit back and enjoy the show.
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The weekend is here! Hooray! If you’re planning on doing it in the bathtub this weekend, here are some pointers from Dr. Thomas Stuttaford and Suzi Godson, because it’s not going to be as easy:
Use baths for foreplay only, and skip the bubbles and all your other chemical-laden products. Bubble bath washes off the skin’s natural oils and lubrication, causing irritation. Irritation=no fun.
Make use of lube — and not a water-based one, which will wash off instantly. Silicone is best.
Try not to hit the faucet. That would be painful.
Also, check out these step-by-step instructions from AskMen.com on how to prepare a bath for a lady friend. They probably won’t help you with your endeavor, but you might laugh. They suggest playing Seal, as his music is soft and sensual. Um, if cheesy music is a requirement, we’d prefer Billie Holiday. [The Times, U.K. and AskMen.com]
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