There are some new WTF sex products on the market, peeps. Woot woot! Question is: Which one will you NOT be bringing into your bedroom this spring? The competition is on. In one corner we have the new My First Knocked Up line of male masturbators. Yes, this fleshlight simulates sex with a pregnant woman, sorry, I mean a headless, limbless pregnant torso. Best of all, they come in different races. Sexxxy. Duking it out FTW are Brief Jerkies, a style of underwear a dude shouldn’t be caught dead in. Made of beef jerky, bedazzled with rhinestones and rumored to mix perfectly with ball sweat to enhance natural male pheromones, these meat haute couture manties are contendahs. So … which sex product is crazier? Cast your vote.
Which Is The Crazier Sex Product?
- Disembodied, pregnant fleshlights are too hot -- and nuts -- for words. (70%, 308 Votes)
- I want to eat those Brief Jerkies off my man. (30%, 130 Votes)
Total Voters: 438
Ahh, periods. The first time Aunt Flow comes to town is a momentous and sometimes upsetting experience. But it doesn’t have to be! A company called Menarche Parties R Us wants to help you create a lifetime of memories by feting the first expulsion of the uterine wall. Play games like Pin the Ovaries, the Puberty Marshmallow Game, and Menstruation Trivia! Eat (what, red stuff?) off of speciality plates and send guests home with “Private Days Feminine Disposable Bags”! Ensure that your teenage daughter never, ever, ever speaks to you again because you threw such an extravaganza on an already confusing occasion! Keep reading »
The economy. Education. The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. These are just a few of the many important issues facing American people today. And the one GOP wannabe presidential candidate Rick Santorum has zeroed in his focus on?
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Sometimes Lindsay Lohan is just awful. But sometimes, I really do feel bad for her. Today is one of those days, because a porn star named Alex Torres bragged on a radio show Friday that he slept with LiLo while her father Michael Lohan slept upstairs. The actor who goes by the screen named “Voodoo” — and is apparently the same Alex Torres who was canned for filming a sex tape while skydiving — even hinted that Lindsay paid him for the rendezvous. Lindsay’s rep brushed off the gossip, huffing, “I don’t feel the need to respond to claims made by a porn star.” Considering Lindsay posed for Playboy, perhaps they should not be throwing stones. Keep reading »
I still get a little flustered when I have to walk up to some random checkout counter and whisper, “Hey, can I have those Trojans? (even more hushed) Yes. The Magnums, please.” I accept the fact that it is a little childish of me, but so what? I believe a girl is entitled to discretion. Luckily I stumbled upon a website where I can have all of my sexytimes needs delivered right to my door. LuckyBloke.com is a service where you can create your own personalized condom collection for monthly delivery. Brands include Durex, Trojan, Glyde, Billy Boy, Kimono and RFSU and come in an assortment of colors, flavors, and styles. Plus, different lubes include organic, silicone or water-based ones. The best part? Shipping is free and 10 percent of sales go to charities that support urgent humanitarian causes like UNICEF and It Gets Better Project. Who knew that just by shopping for my condoms online (without shame), I could be doing an incredible service to the world? [Prices Vary, LuckyBloke.com]
“Sexytimes.” “Beej.” “Gettin’ it on.” There is just so much sex slang I would like to see retired, like now. But I can giveth as well as taketh away. After all, we need words and phrases outside the clinical to describe “making the beasts with two backs” (that’s from King Lear, FYI, and it shall never be retired). After the jump, six new(ish) bits of sex slang that I think we should make happen. Share yours in the comments! Keep reading »