Okay, someone please tell me what a $1,500, 55-gallon vat of Passion Natural Water-Based Lubricant can be used for. Usually a dollop will do ya. Fifty-five gallons seems beyond excessive. When you’re done explaining that, please look at the “customers who viewed this item also viewed” section. The “Accoutrement Horse Head Mask,” I understand. But I need to know what you do with a “Fresh Whole Rabbit” and a “Scientific Testicle Self Exam Form.” I am frightened. [Buzzfeed]
“Wait, are you upset with me? Yes, I slept with him. No, we’re not dating. Well, because I wanted to, and from all indications, I thought you were definitely on board.”
While this sounds like one side of a difficult discussion with a pushy girlfriend, it was actually the internal dialog I used to have with my vagina. Apparently she wanted me to have one serious boyfriend. Quaint, but not my plan. As 31-year-olds entering our sexual prime, the vagina and I both wanted sex in the city, but how did I end up a Samantha with a vagina who was acting like a total Charlotte? Keep reading »
I like boobs. I’m a straight woman, but really, who doesn’t appreciate them? Robots. Reptiles. Sauron. That’s about it. And I’m not even positive about Sauron. He might have, at some point, before he was all disembodied. Breasts are awesome. As feminist writer Gail Collins said in her New York Times piece, “Everybody likes breasts — infants, adults, women, men. Really, it’s America’s most popular body part.” But sometimes it seems like we only get to talk about how awesome certain kinds of boobs are. The ones that are bold, perfectly round, Sports Illustrated-style, belonging to Christina Hendricks, full, plush, generous, prominent, and just generally big.
Those words do not describe my breasts, but I like mine anyway. For some reason, I never learned to be ashamed. I listened to my brothers (and the world) make enthusiastic comments about well-endowed women, and, although I had a few moments of “Seriously, God? Where’s the rest of my chest? YOU FORGOT SOMETHING,” I grew up generally liking the way I looked. It could be that there’s something wrong with my brain. But I think it’s more likely that small boobs are pretty great. Here’s why. Keep reading »
Give the lady the wrong Valentine’s Day gift and she won’t be so excited to open her heart (or her legs) for you. Even if you do love her “from top to bottom,” we urge you not to buy her this roll of toilet paper. Here are some more gifts that are not going to get her romantic juices flowing. [Just Paper Roses]
A while back I was dating a guy that I was really into. In hindsight, the relationship was ridiculous… but I was transported by what seemed like some of the best between-the-sheets I’ve ever had, and I besotted myself into some idea that we had a future. So I was devastated when I was dumped, over email. (Yep, even in middle age, some men still do that.)
I went through the usual shock and awe, aided by piles of tissue and a hive of caring girlfriends. Moving through the stages of grieving, I saw him clearly for the incapable slouch that he was. But what kept nagging at me was how much I was going to miss that naked tango. Read more…
Kim Kardashian’s mom Kris Jenner has signed on to help promote a new sex oil. Is that Mario Lopez checking out the product on the set of “Extra”?
The 56-year-old reality TV star will be the face for Zestra Essential Arousal Oils. Read more…