Q: My dog constantly barks when I’m having sex. It’s so annoying and a bit of a turn-off and I don’t know what to do. If I put him in another room he barks even louder. My guy recommended we keep the puppy on the bed with us during the act but that kind of creeps me out. Is it weird that my guy is cool with that? — Sick Of The Yelping, New York, NY
A: Blugh. I just shuddered at my desk. Puppies and sex? I can think of a ton of things that go better together. Vanilla and chocolate, peas and carrots, margaritas and tacos. Life is too short to mix gross things like puppies and sex. Now that you know I’m a prude who doesn’t think Lassie and fellatio go together, I feel confident telling you it’s a little weird your boyfriend wants to keep him on the bed. With that being said, I can also see how guys can be clueless. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say it’s more of the “duh” factor with your man, as opposed to the “Holy crap, I’m dating a freak!” factor.
You should talk to your boyfriend and tell him that it bothers you. Sit him down and compare the dog to your fictional child for a bit. Tell him the dog is part of the family and that allowing him to watch is the equivalent of a kid seeing his parents doing it — though definitely use the “f” word, because that will get the point across. Then you should immediately look into a trainer or get some books on how to stop your dog from barking. I’m no pet expert, but I think training the dog to not bark while you’re doing the deed is a better solution than letting him watch the action. Now, if the dog still wants to watch, go ahead and make the bitch pay for it. That kind of entertainment doesn’t come for free. Keep reading »
Vaginoplasty is the only way Dr. 90210 sees a vagina, but lucky for him, itâ€™s reportedly his third most popular surgery. Ouch! Thatâ€™s a touchy way to make a buck. Every woman who has had their â€˜gina waxed can tell you itâ€™s painful getting ripped off, from the hair removal to the price of the waxing. But vaginoplasty is taking the cost and the cu-next-tuesday to a whole new level and America the beautiful is it eating it up! In a new HBO Real Sex short, bare-naked porn star Katie Morgan talks about the growing demand for the cosmetic procedure. From evening flaps to making the lining a tighter fit than an American Apparel xtra-small, maybe this is what people are talking about when they ask plastic surgeons for Angelina Jolieâ€™s lips. After all, what wouldnâ€™t we do for Brad Pitt? However, with all this hoopla over the hoo-ha, a girlâ€™s gotta wonder if this is the final frontier for equality. Like, what has he manscaped for me lately? [TMZ] Keep reading »
Hold on tight because Twisted Triangle, a new in depth, tell-all, true story, about a lesbian FBI agent is set to hit the shelves. Crime writer Patricia Cornwell, best known for her character Dr. Kay Scarpetta, seduced the blonde-haired blue-eyed bureau agent, Margo Bennett, while researching a novel back in the 90â€™s. What started as an innocent slip of a heel up Margoâ€™s leg at work led to torrid affair. Their sexy secret love was made into a public scandal when Margoâ€™s FBI agent husband, in a fit of passion, tried to kill her in church. But who cares about him?! Between the sheets, the suits, the secrets, and the guns, thereâ€™s sure to be plenty of hot girl-on-girl action. [Page Six] Keep reading »
The smarty-pants at the University of Cambridge conducted a study to find out where all the sluts were hiding at their school. Researchers, through an online survey, asked 1,000 of their students about their sex lives and found that the more students performed in bed, the worse they performed in their classes. Beyond making the grade, they were even able to pinpoint which academic pursuits would keep you a virgin. Half the math department, which ranks #1 in marks, couldn’t get laid even with straight A’s. On the other hand, coed’s pursuing medicine were found to be the friskiest, having the most sexual partners. All in all, the report card shows Cambridge is a school for experimentation, as 60% of students claimed they’ve done it outdoors, 25% are into S&M, and 15% have played a part in group sex. [Newsweek] Keep reading »
Every once and a while a new product comes on to the market and you instantly think to yourself, “Damn. What took them so long?” In this case, that product is NodorO and what took so long is they needed to mention Oprah’s name in order to call attention to male genital odor (MGO). The company behind NodorO, a cream which helps neutralize penis funk, has challenged the daytime talk show host to bring attention to MGO in hopes of normalizing what they see as a common problem that many men feel embarrassed about. Umm, unless Stedman or Gayle have issues below the belt, we don’t know why O should give a funk. [PRWeb and NodorO] Keep reading »
Virgin’s big dreamin’ billionaire, Richard Branson, just announced plans that could take the mile high club to a whole new level. The first passenger airline with plans to boldly go where only NASA has gone before, Virgin Galactic, is set to launch their 6-seater spaceship in 2009. For the low price of $200,000 a ticket, rich people will get the chance to lay other rich people in the shuttle’s outer space bathroom. What better way to spend your money than to get an astronaut to hit your G-spot in zero G’s? [Gizmodo] Keep reading »
David Levy, the author of Love and Sex with Robots went on The Colbert Report recently to talk about the book, which people have been discussing non-stop since its publication in November. While the audience and Colbert laughed hysterically, David was completely serious, saying that we will be having sex with robots in five years and be capable of falling in love with them in 40. Not only will these robots be able to simulate humans well enough to get us to fall in love with them, but they’ll also be better in bed. Unlike humans with our handful of lovers from which we draw experience, the robots will be programmed with all of the information and tricks from all of the books ever written about sex. David says this is one of the major problems he sees, “…in particular with men having some sort of sexual anxiety because If they realize their woman has had the most fantastic sex of her life with a robot, guy might think, ‘I wonder if I can perform that well.’” But women will have something to worry about as well, because men will be able to program their robots to want to have sex with them. And at only a couple hundred dollars by mid century, a robot could be a better investment than a wife. [Comedy Central]
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Do any of you ladies kind of hate your gynecologist? I sort of do. I called in a refill on my birth control a couple days ago to a local pharmacy. The audio recording told me I didn’t have any more refills left, but that they would call my doctor for approval. Now, the last time I saw my doc, she gave me a six-month prescription and technically I did run out of refills a few months ago — I didn’t think much of it because she kept giving the pharmacist permission to refill it, and besides, I figured she could just write me a new prescription the next time I had a chance to come in for a pap. Which was going to be soon, I swear.
So anyway, yesterday she rejected my request for a refill, telling the pharmacist that I needed to call and make an appointment for an exam. Alrighty. Annoying, but okay, that is not entirely unreasonable. Besides, if I called this morning to make an appointment, she could call in my prescription after that and I’d be able to double up my pills today and not get knocked up. Unfortch, when I called her office this morning, her very bitchy receptionist told me that under no circumstances would my doc renew my prescription until after I’ve come in for an exam. Too bad, pathetic pap smear slacker, they said, “You’ll have to skip this month’s pack of pills.” Say what? My doctor is screwing with my hormones, which have been used to taking Ortho-Lo for over five years, because she’s mad I haven’t come in for a visit? She hasn’t called me about coming in. She hasn’t sent me a letter. She’s just cut me off. And everyone knows that if your body is super used to the hormone levels in birth control pills and you go off them, you can be much more fertile at first. If I get pregs, I am going to be pissed. Does anyone else think this is kind of unprofessional and unreasonable? Sympathize with me (or tell me I’m wrong) in the comments! Keep reading »
When Oprah talked about oral sex on her show, people were aghast at how slutty today’s teens had become. But author Tim Harford would probably disagree. In The Logic of Life, his follow-up to The Undercover Economist, Harford looks at various hidden human behaviors. One of his findings is that teens aren’t more promiscuous now than before, they’ve just shifted from intercourse to oral sex. Read it and weep, O! [Bloomberg] Keep reading »