Years ago, in my early 20s, I dated a guy named Mike. Now Mike, by all accounts, was heterosexual. Perhaps you’re thinking, Um, hello? Duh. Of course he was. He was dating you, and you’re a woman. But as any lady in her 20s living in New York can tell you, this doesn’t always guarantee straightness. No. It does not. However, Mike seemed thoroughly, authentically hetero. And as evidence of that fact – and just to get down to the nitty-gritty of it – I offer you the following: He had a healthy sexual appetite and, more to the point, he really enjoyed the performance of The Oral Sex. And more to the point, he was unfailingly, ahem, aroused after having done so to moi et moi’s lady-bits.
So this one night, Straight Mike and I were enjoying a couple of post-coital drinks and chitting and chatting, and I – in a pathetic if nonetheless truthful attempt to make him think me more worldly than I was/am – mentioned having made out with a girl in college. I said, “Well, there was this month in college when I kept making out with my friend Barbara.”
I expected him to tell me how edgy, original, and adventurous this was, but instead, he went, “Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, I guess I never think that stuff’s that big a deal. I mean, well, I sucked this guy’s dick, like … last year I guess it was?” Keep reading »
I love when technology is put to really good use. In Brazil, it is now possible for men to piss in a musical toilet. The Guitar Pee uses special electronic tabs to release chords when splashed with urine. It even records the piss music and makes it into an MPee3 that you can listen to. And there you have it — inventing at its best. My only question: Will they an equivalent for women? I’m sure we’d all appreciate our own opportunity to make beautiful music with our urine. Until then, I’m investing in pee cones. Click though to see more of the world’s weirdest urinals. [TheFW]
Right about now, I’m wishing I were a seahorse. Their mating/reproduction/parenting model sounds absolutely ideal and egalitarian. You lay the eggs, he carries the babies and you take care of him while he’s knocked up. I could be down for this setup. Can we make this happen for humans? [Buzzfeed]
Artwork by Humon at Deviant Art
I’ve promised my friends that if I ever got to the point when I was single, approaching mid-30′s and out of options that I would try online dating (again). I’ve arrived there, but I’m skittish. Last time I forayed into virtual dating world, I ended up on a date with a guy who was “under federal investigation.” That was enough to put me off for a long time. Lately, a single friend has been doing the online thing and trying to convince me to do the same. On her most recent date, the guy was waiting for her when she emerged from the bathroom … right outside the door. When she declined a make out session, he said he “just really needed to go.” OK. This does nothing to encourage me. The pickings appear to be very SLIM. This leads me to my discovery: There exists an untapped market of available men who are sure to be more fun (and safer) to spend the evening with than a criminal or a bathroom stalker. Who are they, you ask? Where are they? I’ve scoped them out for you, for us. Click through to see the most eligible sex dolls out there.
As a woman 32 years of age who has spent as much time single as she’s spent attached, boy oh boy do I have tales from the field. (And by “the field,” I mean the casual sex/dating circuit.) One thing I’ve learned we all do from time to time: make weird, embarrassing, outlandish exclamations during sex. The weirdest thing I’ve ever said relates to an early 2005 spanking incident … but I’ll leave it at that, and instead focus on embarrassing anonymous sources instead of myself.
For your enjoyment (and edification?), here’s a roundup of the strangest things I’ve heard during sex. Keep reading »
On the season finale of “The Real Housewives of Atlanta,” Kandi Burruss finally managed to gross me out. And no, it had nothing to do with her va-jay-jay/pee-pee/sex toy talk. When auditioning male models for her Bedroom Kandi launch party, she referred to a man’s chest hair as something truly revolting. “I don’t care if you have a little bit of hair, but I don’t want it to look like curled up, little naps, like little taco meat,” Kandi said after seeing Termaine shirtless. I’m sure poor Termaine went home ASAP and waxed his “taco meat.” Ewww. Not only was that beyond gross, but the poor guy is probably going to have a complex for the rest of his life. As will I. I am going to live in fear of thinking of tacos every time a man gets naked in front of me. Make it stop. After the jump, more gross food terms that should NEVER be used to describe a man’s body. Keep reading »