My husband came into the relationship with some fun sex toys, but after awhile, I decided it was a little weird to play with toys someone else had used. Any advice on how to build a sex toy starter kit I can call my own? — Using Used Goods, Los Angeles, CA
After awhile??? So you’re saying you actually used something that was INSIDE another woman? Sorry for the caps and itals, but I have a hard enough time using the same bar of soap with my roommate, let alone using a toy that was in another girl’s vag. Considering our hygienic difference, you might not be into the same sex toys I’d be into (anal beads covered with Saran Wrap). But, on the off chance you’re not super freaky, I’ve got some good pointers for you. Keep reading »
My boyfriend and I have decided to try anal, but I’ve heard it’s good to sort of ‘warm up’ first. Are there tricks to getting myself relaxed enough? I’ve heard porn stars have enemas or stop eating a day before. Do I have to go to all that trouble? What if it comes up more spontaneously? — Back Door Betty, Santa Clara, CA
Here’s a little tip about porn stars. The enema and no eating a day before anal is, I imagine, like a method actor preparing for a role. Did you hear how Tom Hanks prepared for his role in Cast Away? He literally starved himself for weeks at a time so he could actually feel like he was stranded on a deserted island. For porn stars, their butt IS that island. Yours isn’t, so don’t get so freaked out.
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When I think of virtual reality, I think of those goofy Star Trek-looking visor/headsets that people thought would transport them to their ultimate fantasy world back in the early ’90s. I certainly never thought the term would apply to my life. And yet, for more than a year, I was involved in what can only be deemed a virtual affair – a torrid, explicitly sexual relationship with a dude whom I never screwed, kissed, or even touched in real life.
Well that’s not entirely true. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t like one of those Internet relationships that are sparked by desperate people in the wee hours of the morning in singles chat rooms. This was a guy that I knew. That I’d met. That I’d flirted with in real time and felt instant, palpable chemistry with — the kind that you can only really feel if you are in the same physical space. But our “relationship” was never consummated. Not even close. Keep reading »
“Is there a secret to being awesome at oral sex? I’m not sure if I’m doing it well, and I’m not about to discuss my technique with my friends.” — Needing Lessons, Santa Fe, NM
The real secret to oral sex that nobody ever talks about is that you have to be into it! You know how passionate you get about buying shoes or watching the latest episode of America’s Next Top Model? Put that same gleeful cheer into fellatio, and you’ll have your guy going through the roof.
With that said, there’s a few “tricks of the trade” (I totally sound like a hooker) that will spice up the average beej. My favorites, after the jump… Keep reading »
For the week of March 31-April 6, 2008
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Your hotness heats up, so aim high. Don’t waste time on charity cases and borderline crushes. You know they only occupy mental space that then makes you waste time analyzing his actions when deep down you could care less. Break free of those habits now. A worthy contender is coming; until then, save the juice for a more savory flavor.
Keep reading »
A natural birth control method that involves keeping track of your cycle with a set of beads and abstaining from sex from day 8 to 19 was shown to be nearly as effective (when used properly) as the Pill and more effective than the diaphragm or condoms, according to a study of 1,646 women in six different countries. We’re kind of skeptical though, because there were 14.1 pregnancies for every 100 women per year in the study. The main reason the women got pregnant, the researchers found, was that couples knowingly took a risk and had sex on fertile days. Ya think? Being forbidden from having sex 11 days out of every month is probably one of the best aphrodisiacs out there. [Reuters] Keep reading »
“Lots of things about my relationship are great, but the sex is vanilla — my boyfriend is weirded out by my collection of sex toys, and isn’t willing to experiment. What should I do?” — In Need Of Spice, New Orleans, LA
I think this depends on what kind of toys you have. If your collection is filled with gag-balls and strap-ons, I can’t say I blame your boyfriend for feeling uneasy. On the other hand, if all you want to do is lock him to the bed with furry pink handcuffs, there’s some room to negotiate.
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New Jersey native Sarah Reilly, 25, gives The Frisky the dirt on why she’s waiting for wedding bells before she does the dirty. It’ll truly be a Snow White Wedding…
So when and why did you decide to save yourself for marriage?
Well, my dad is a pastor and when I was a child my parents explained to us, my brother and sisters and me, why sex is beautiful and why it’s important to wait for that someone special. And on my 13th birthday I promised my parents and God that I would wait and my parents gave me a promise ring. Keep reading »
Lori took to the streets with quite a conundrum this week — would you rather do it in the exact same position or in a brand new position (no repeats!) every night for the rest of your life? Honestly…we pick the former. We aren’t that flexible or creative. Keep reading »
Hold on to your Prozac, because women who suffer from depression have 1/3 more sex than their “normal” counterparts. Finally, some news to cheer up my sad sisters! A study of 107 women, published in the British Medical Journal, found that when you’re down, you put out — no matter whether you’re in a committed relationship or ho-ing the road alone. Dr. Sabura Allen, who headed the study at Monash University in Melbourne, Australia, says, “When people are depressed they feel more insecure about their relationships and concerned that their partner may not care about them or find them valuable.” So they overcompensate to feel secure by getting naked, and as often as possible. As for the single girls they studied, researchers found they were more inclined to let loose and have adventurous casual sex. They make depression sound like Spring Break, without the hassle of traveling! [NY Daily News] Keep reading »