“I put an organization together. I did a Playboy tour, and I had a bus follow me with ten bitches on it. I could fire a bitch, fuck a bitch, get a new ho: It was my program. City to city, titty to titty, hotel room to hotel room, athlete to athlete, entertainer to entertainer. … If I’m in a city where where the Denver Broncos or the Nuggets play, I get a couple of they players to come hang out, pick and choose, and whichever one you like comes with a number. A lot of athletes bought pussy from me. … I’d act like I’d take the money from the bitch, but I’d let her have it. It was never about the money; it was about the fascination of being a pimp . . . As a kid I dreamed of being a pimp, I dreamed of having cars and clothes and bitches to match. I said, ‘Fuck it – I’m finna do it. … My wife had to take a backseat to this shit. And I love her to this day because she coulda shook out on a ni**a, but she stayed in my corner. So when I decided to let it go, she was still there.”
– Snoop Lion (née Snoop Dogg) reveals he used to wish upon a star to be a pimp when he grew up (side eye) and how his dream was finally realized when he did a tour for Playboy and pimped out women — I’m sorry, their formal term in his vocabulary is “bitches.” [Rolling Stone] [Photo: Fame/Flynet]
Only in Las Vegas would you be able to participate in a vibrator racing competition. At the first annual sex toy races, sponsored by German erotic toy company Fun Factory, gamblers were able to hit the poker tables and bet on which vibrator they thought had the most horsepower. My money’s on the pink one. Oh wait. They’re all pink. That could make for some confusion. [MSN]
Vegans have a bigger sexual appetite! That’s PETA’s new ploy to get us to stop eating/wearing/using animal products. And how do they illustrate their point? Oh, with a supercut of wild animals fucking set to the tune of “Teddy Bear’s Picnic.” I certainly enjoyed PETA’s “Do It Like They Do” ad way more than the 30 seconds I watched of James Deen’s penis plunging into Farrah Abraham’s butthole, that’s for sure. Still, it failed to convince me to cut all animal products out of my diet, considering my sex drive seems to be just fine. Sorry, PETA! But thanks for the animal sex! [Broward New Times]
A new survey done by a totally biased, “traditional” mattress company found that couples who sleep on memory-foam beds are having the shittiest of shitty sex lives. Some people surveyed described sex on their memory-foam mattresses as “stuck in quicksand,” “uncomfortable,” “difficult” or even “horrible.”
Well, that sounds terribly unsexy, unless you’re into S&M. But you just can’t trust this study because the market for memory-foam beds has jumped 20 percent in the last eight years, so these traditional mattress companies — like the one who sponsored this research — don’t really have your best, sexual interests at heart.
But we do! May The Frisky bureau of consumer affairs present a fair and honest review of all the mattresses we’ve hit it on. [9News]
So, YEAH. Señor Testiculo, which translates to Mr. Testicle, is the new
face balls of testicular cancer awareness. The Señor, created by a Brazilian cancer organization, recently made his first public appearance at an event run by the Associação de Assistência às Pessoas. After looking at this picture, I’m sufficiently terrified of both Mr. Testicle’s hairdo and by testicular cancer … and I don’t even have balls. Mission accomplished. [Huffington Post]
Yesterday, I took you on a journey into my bedroom as I attempted to get-off to the 5:12 minute clip/trailer for Farrah Abraham and James Deen’s hardcore porn “Farrah Superstar: Back Door Teen Mom.” You were there as I failed to climax, thanks to Farrah’s distracting vocal inflections (which I described as “a human speaking dolphin”), sex yelps and unoriginal dirty talk. I mourned that a man as talented in the sack as James Deen had been so poorly utilized. While I suspect we have many men to thank for the huge sales numbers for “Farrah Superstar” (which is already more popular than Kim Kardashian’s sex tape), James Deen is beloved by female porn viewers and I thought it was a damn shame that what I saw of “Back Door Teen Mom” did not allow his star to shine. Initially disappointed that “Farrah Superstar” had failed to please, I turned to the wealth of James Deen sex scenes available on the interwebs and went to bed content.
I made it clear in my initial piece that I was only really “reviewing” the clip/preview released by Vivid Video, edited to entice the viewer into purchasing the full shebang. Perhaps other viewers were as underwhelmed as I was, because late last night — journalism is a 24 hour job, people! — I discovered a full 42:55 scene from the video on Porn Hub (SUPER NSFW). Hmm, I thought. Perhaps I should give this another shot. A good journalist should never refuse the opportunity to review further evidence. Keep reading »
That potentially deadlier than AIDS sex superbug that you were up all night worrying about was so not worth losing any sleep over. Well, at least not this week. According to Dr. Kimberly Workowski, a professor of infectious disease, “The sky is not falling — yet.” Don’t worry, you fatalists, the sky will fall eventually, but our current state of panic over the superbug is all a big mixup, according to NBC News. Keep reading »