Hello, Child Protective Services? “Teen Mom” and erstwhile porn star Farrah Abraham told a radio station that she’s saved a “baby box” for her toddler Sophia, which she plans to hand over when her daughter is “around 13 or 14, gets her period and is like ‘Oh, I kinda want a boyfriend.’” In it, she’s got all the episodes of “Teen Mom,” her book, and … the porno she filmed with James Deen. Or, as Farrah insists on calling it, her “sex tape.” Why, you might ask, would a 7th or 8th grade girl want to watch a porn film starring her mother? Farrah doesn’t have an explanation herself, but she seems to think that getting one’s period is a sign of advanced sexual maturity and not just, like, part of puberty. There’s nothing wrong with filming a porn, or being a sex worker, and also being a parent. There’s nothing wrong with being a teen parent, either. What is wrong is involving your kid in that confusing (and frankly, gross — no kid wants to know about their mom’s sex life!) realm before the kid is mature enough to mentally and emotionally process it. While I can admire Farrah’s stance as a parent that “I do not hide things,” she obviously isn’t thinking with her Responsible Parenting Cap on with this one. [Celebitchy] [Photo: Pacific Coast News]
People who are terrified of bees, or the thought of human beings having sexual intercourse with bees, or the thought of dying, please be forewarned that you may find what I am about to tell you highly disturbing. A 35-year-old Swedish man known as “Hasse” was found dead outside of his farm this week in Ystad after having sex with a hornets’ nest. Let that sink in for a moment. Sex with bees. SOMEONE WANTED TO FUCK A SWARM OF HORNETS.
Hasse’s bloated corpse had a total of 146 wasp stings, including 54 on his penis and balls. At this point you might be thinking to yourself, OK. So this guy got stung to death. That’s awful. It happened Macaulay Culkin in “My Girl” and I bawled my face off. But how did they know Hasse died specifically from having sex with a hornets’ nest? Oh, because they found Hasse’s semen on some of the dead wasps and his pubic hair in their nest. Keep reading »
So, you’re naturally a screamer whose partner has to put a pillow over your mouth when you’re having an orgasm. You’ve probably resented this at some point, because when you’re cumming, instead of reveling in pleasure, you’re thinking about who heard you and thought you were getting your organs harvested against your will. Your loudness might have left you envious of those quiet types who let out one tiny sigh when they cum. WTF is that all about? Maybe you’ve even fantasized about, at the very least, being a grunter because it would be better to sound like a cavewoman than a murder victim when you have sex. At least dogs wouldn’t bark every time you climax and your stupid, nosy neighbors would stop making jokes about you being a porn star. You’re just enjoying yourself and that’s what it sounds like, FUCK YOU VERY MUCH! It’s time to stop feeling shame about your natural sex noises and start seeking out situations where screamers are welcome. Here are some ideas for where you can take your loud orgasms… Keep reading »
If your parents have ever hassled you about a no-good, worthless jerk you’ve been dating, it’s time send Mom and Dad an email saying, “At least I wasn’t dating this guy!” This guy is Billy Gibby, who changed his name to Hostgator Dotcom when he sold his name the the web hosting company Hostgator.com. That’s not the only thing Dotcom’s made a quick buck off of: he earned $50,000 a decade ago getting his entire face tattooed with URLs for porn sites and online casinos. He’s a walking billboard for sleaze! But after learning that Dotcom might want to remove some of those face tats, one of the porn sites, Cam4.com, has offered to pay for the cost of laser tattoo removal. ”They advertised on my face a long time ago … and decided they wanted to help me,” Dotcom told VICE magazine. “They’re just doing it to be nice.” Nice indeed. Just think of all the respectable jobs he could get with one less porn site URL tattooed on his face.
[Daily Dot] [Image via Facebook.com/HostgatorDotcom]
Many of us are focused on self-growth and self-reflection when it comes to enhancing our sex lives — and there’s nothing wrong with that! But most of us aren’t even aware of the importance that our environment plays in having a better sex life. Sadly, we often neglect the place where most of the action takes place: the bedroom.
Have you really looked at your bedroom lately? Go ahead, give it a once-over. Does it invite intimacy? Is it comfortable? Does it feel like your sanctuary? Or could it use some improvement?
Below are some totally doable tips for creating a bedroom that will not only enhance your sex life, but become a refuge from the stress of daily life, too.
1. Sexy to the touch. A cozy comforter makes you want to slip into bed, and soft sheets complete the experience. Remember, only a few throw pillows … you don’t want to ruin the romantic moment by doing manual labor to clear yourselves a spot on the bed! Plush carpeting is always nice, but if your budget is an issue, a soft and furry throw rug creates a comfy landing for your feet … or for the both of you, in case the mood strikes before you make it to the mattress. Read more on Your Tango…
It’s only a matter of time now before Tanning Mom makes her dream of becoming a famous actress come true. Her pitch to star in a porn of her own was rejected by Vivid Entertainment. But as fate would have it, another production company has recognized all of Patty K’s untapped potential. Lucas Entertainment, a company that produces a gay porn, has decided to give Tanning Mom her big break. Wait for it. Tanning Mom will have a cameo in the latest installment of series called “Kings of New York.” Oh yes, she will! Keep reading »
“I put an organization together. I did a Playboy tour, and I had a bus follow me with ten bitches on it. I could fire a bitch, fuck a bitch, get a new ho: It was my program. City to city, titty to titty, hotel room to hotel room, athlete to athlete, entertainer to entertainer. … If I’m in a city where where the Denver Broncos or the Nuggets play, I get a couple of they players to come hang out, pick and choose, and whichever one you like comes with a number. A lot of athletes bought pussy from me. … I’d act like I’d take the money from the bitch, but I’d let her have it. It was never about the money; it was about the fascination of being a pimp . . . As a kid I dreamed of being a pimp, I dreamed of having cars and clothes and bitches to match. I said, ‘Fuck it – I’m finna do it. … My wife had to take a backseat to this shit. And I love her to this day because she coulda shook out on a ni**a, but she stayed in my corner. So when I decided to let it go, she was still there.”
– Snoop Lion (née Snoop Dogg) reveals he used to wish upon a star to be a pimp when he grew up (side eye) and how his dream was finally realized when he did a tour for Playboy and pimped out women — I’m sorry, their formal term in his vocabulary is “bitches.” [Rolling Stone] [Photo: Fame/Flynet]
Only in Las Vegas would you be able to participate in a vibrator racing competition. At the first annual sex toy races, sponsored by German erotic toy company Fun Factory, gamblers were able to hit the poker tables and bet on which vibrator they thought had the most horsepower. My money’s on the pink one. Oh wait. They’re all pink. That could make for some confusion. [MSN]