Sometimes, you open your sex toy drawer and think, I really wish my sex toys weren’t so generic. If only they were more … original, more handmade, more artsy, more a reflection of my individual, sexual expression. Well, Etsy has you covered. Click through to see some crafty adult toys for your one-of-a-kind sex life.
This nude motorbike passenger was pulled over in Romania, but not for riding in her birthday suit. A traffic cop ticketed “the modern day Lady Godiva” for not wearing a helmet. “He gave her a warning and a ticket and told her and her companion to ride on,” said a witness. And that’s exactly what she did. She put on a helmet and hopped right back on that bike, still totally nude. Good for her, for having the confidence to ride without clothing. But I suppose the cop should have considered the dangers a naked woman might cause other drivers. Ogling accidents. [Metro UK]
A doctor, a dentist, and an alternative medicine practitioner were all secretly filmed offering to perform or arrange female genital mutilation (FGM), according to the UK Guardian. FGM involves removing all or part of the external female genitalia, and sometimes sewing the opening to the vagina shut. It’s all supposedly for the purpose of making it impossible for a woman to have sex for pleasure and therefore ensuring her “purity” upon marriage.
The so-called “female circumcisions” are performed on girls as young as 5 and is widespread across Africa; you can read more about FGM on the World Health Organization’s web site. Thankfully, human rights and women’s rights activists across the continent are condemning the horrific procedure. As such, both performing FGM and arranging for it to be performed are illegal in the UK. But that doesn’t stop FGM from occurring in the UK: the Guardian claims 100K women in the country have been mutilated. I hope those doctors know FGM carries a 14 year prison sentence and are shaking in their boots/heels. [Guardian UK; Telegraph UK]
Sometimes there are no words for the way you are feeling, and you just have to come up with one instead. Usually, the Germans are my go-to people for words to describe things you can’t really describe in English, because hello, they’ve got awesome terms like zeitgeist and gestalt and kindergarten (okay, maybe not that last one so much). So allow us to introduce you to a word I just made up: Sexenschadenfreude. It pertains to the particular kind of schadenfreude you feel when discovering that someone you don’t like is sleeping with someone who is kind of gross.
Origin: Sex + Schadenfreude, which is when you revel in the pain and suffering of others (oh, come on, sometimes it happens).
Example: “God, ever since Stacy and I got in that fight, I’ve been having a major bout of sexenschadenfreude over her and her crappy boyfriend Steve. I bet he has the tiniest penis ever.”
Have you ever felt Sexenschadenfreude?
When it rains, it pours.
You hear it all the time, and the implication, of course, is that there’s also a flipside: When it’s dry, it’s dry for ages. This is especially true when it comes to sex. Often it feels like the only thing you need to get a guy’s attention is another guy’s attention. Conversely, when it’s been awhile since you’ve done, ahem, the deed, it can feel like it’ll never happen again. Which, of course, it will. It’s only a matter of time. After the jump, for your reading pleasure, a list of helpful tips to get the ol’ ball rolling again. By which I mean: LET’S GET YOU LAID. It’s been too long. Keep reading »
Aussie mother Kylie Steger was not amused by the rude surprise inside her Hungry Jack fast food dinner. She was beyond pissed when she found a poorly drawn penis inside her hamburger box. “It literally made me sick … If they have drawn that in there, what else have they done to my burger?” Steger complained. I wonder if she would have felt differently if the penis rendering was more, well, professional. Hungry Jacks is taking the complaint “very seriously” and has launched an investigation to get to the bottom of the penis incident. I, on the other hand, can’t stop laughing. I would be thrilled if there was a penis in my box. Also, may I just point out that the name of the person who wrote this news item is Stuart Cumming. You’re welcome. [The Chronicle]