Sometimes there are no words for the way you are feeling, and you just have to come up with one instead. Usually, the Germans are my go-to people for words to describe things you can’t really describe in English, because hello, they’ve got awesome terms like zeitgeist and gestalt and kindergarten (okay, maybe not that last one so much). So allow us to introduce you to a word I just made up: Sexenschadenfreude. It pertains to the particular kind of schadenfreude you feel when discovering that someone you don’t like is sleeping with someone who is kind of gross.
Origin: Sex + Schadenfreude, which is when you revel in the pain and suffering of others (oh, come on, sometimes it happens).
Example: “God, ever since Stacy and I got in that fight, I’ve been having a major bout of sexenschadenfreude over her and her crappy boyfriend Steve. I bet he has the tiniest penis ever.”
Have you ever felt Sexenschadenfreude?
When it rains, it pours.
You hear it all the time, and the implication, of course, is that there’s also a flipside: When it’s dry, it’s dry for ages. This is especially true when it comes to sex. Often it feels like the only thing you need to get a guy’s attention is another guy’s attention. Conversely, when it’s been awhile since you’ve done, ahem, the deed, it can feel like it’ll never happen again. Which, of course, it will. It’s only a matter of time. After the jump, for your reading pleasure, a list of helpful tips to get the ol’ ball rolling again. By which I mean: LET’S GET YOU LAID. It’s been too long. Keep reading »
Aussie mother Kylie Steger was not amused by the rude surprise inside her Hungry Jack fast food dinner. She was beyond pissed when she found a poorly drawn penis inside her hamburger box. “It literally made me sick … If they have drawn that in there, what else have they done to my burger?” Steger complained. I wonder if she would have felt differently if the penis rendering was more, well, professional. Hungry Jacks is taking the complaint “very seriously” and has launched an investigation to get to the bottom of the penis incident. I, on the other hand, can’t stop laughing. I would be thrilled if there was a penis in my box. Also, may I just point out that the name of the person who wrote this news item is Stuart Cumming. You’re welcome. [The Chronicle]
“Don’s relationship — and [the] women in his life’s relationship[s] — between power and sex is very closely linked. And I think it’s part of the human experience. I think it’s an animal thing. Powerful men in particular seem to want to be controlled sexually. … I think what you’re seeing is that they do have a vibrant sex life, and she is controlling that part of it, and he likes it. And it’s the way they fight. And it’s kind of her saying to him, ‘You want to be this way? Then you can’t have this,’ and on some level wanting him to realize that he won’t get it. And what I love about it, and what I think is fresh, is that this woman is not judged afterward. It’s very rare for a woman to express that kind of sexual confidence and control and not be the prostitute, and be somebody’s wife and be in a relationship afterward. I’m both sexualizing their relationship and explaining her status in the relationship.”
“Mad Men” creator Matt Weiner spoke to NPR about Don Draper’s S&M sex drive, which we’ve gotten little peeks of throughout the series. Remember that time Don got slapped in the face by a prostitute! My head almost exploded. Keep reading »
A new study done at Dartmouth confirmed what we already knew: Focus on food and you will probably get fat, think about sex and you are more likely to get laid. Forty-eight females were given brain scans while being shown pictures of food, animals nature scenes and people engaging in sexual and nonsexual activities. Researchers found that women who responded more often to the pictures of food were more likely to gain weight in the next six months, while the women who had a greater response to sexual images showed an increase in sexual desire and activity in the next six months. Scientists are excited because it means they can make predictions about our behavior based on our brain activity. I’m excited because I can choose to think less about Girl Scout cookies, more about sex. If only there weren 12 hot guys instead of 12 boxes of Thin Mints in our office right now, it would be a lot easier. [NY Times]
No, I’m ready to learn. Because I already know “How My Pussy Works.” I don’t need to listen to a song wherein Brian McKnight educates me about my vagina. I understand his impulse to go in a more erotic direction with his music … but NO. This is definitely not the right direction. Assuming that he is serious. I can’t tell. He can’t be, can he? [Buzzfeed]