Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall people in a single bound….no it’s not Superman. It’s super bacterium gonorrhea! The microscopic crotch grabber is the strongest organism on the planet and much like promiscuous lovers, it can pull more than its fair share of tail, or, in this case, pili. Forget about bending steel, these little bacteria buggers can drag 100,000 times their body weight which is basically like a human hauling 22 million pounds of crap (or Carrie Bradshaw’s shoe rack). Keep reading »
I will forever associate my virginity with toads. No, this is no allusion to fairy tales, no delusions of princess-like grandeur. To my grave disappointment, at no point during my epic virginity-losing did the pimply faced amphibian straddling me morph into a dashing prince. The reason I associate my deflowering with toads is because instead of a Bon Jovi ballad or a sweet Sarah McLachlan serenade, I lost my virginity to the unlikely ribbits of toads.Namely those in that famous Budweiser commercial â€“ you know, BUD. WEIS. ER.
Romance, bitches, is not dead. Keep reading »
Uh, I think I might be pregnant. What are the earliest signs of pregnancy? How soon after conception will a home pregnancy test work? — Bun In The Oven?, Burlington, VT
The # 1 sign of pregnancy is a missed period. It might sound super obvious, but unless women are on the pill they can sometimes miscalculate their period and not recognize when they’re late. Other early symptoms include breast tenderness, darker areolas, morning sickness (aka vomiting or nausea), strong aversions to smells and foods, general fatigue, low back pain, constipation, and frequent urination. Keep reading »
For the week of April 14-20, 2008
Aries (March 21-April 19)
They’ll be no shortage of lust in your life. However, let him step it up by the week’s end and prove to you that he’s worth it. Yes, seems overnight, your standards have shifted and it’ll take more than a pretty face, but a MENSA membership to get into your pants. Thankfully, this means all you have to do is sit back and enjoy the show.
Keep reading »
The weekend is here! Hooray! If you’re planning on doing it in the bathtub this weekend, here are some pointers from Dr. Thomas Stuttaford and Suzi Godson, because it’s not going to be as easy:
Also, check out these step-by-step instructions from AskMen.com on how to prepare a bath for a lady friend. They probably won’t help you with your endeavor, but you might laugh. They suggest playing Seal, as his music is soft and sensual. Um, if cheesy music is a requirement, we’d prefer Billie Holiday. [The Times, U.K. and AskMen.com]
STD Awareness Month has got us thinking about which STDs we consider the worst (besides AIDS, because, c’mon) — I vote for gonorrhea, personally. But then I wonder about dudes, and how much they really know about STDs. Do they know enough to vote for the worst? Their responses, after the jump. Keep reading »
Sex is all about give and take. A study at the University of Michigan School of Public Health found that even though 475 U of M undergrads didn’t need to use sex to get provisions (that’s what parents’ bank accounts are for), many did use it to get other things — help with Econ 302, maybe? Since the students didn’t have any needs that they actually had to use sex to fulfill (i.e., hummingbirds mate to gain access to the most productive flowers guarded by larger males), this suggests something hard wired about the behavior. Keep reading »
If you’re going to have sex in a public restroom, is it better to use the women’s or the men’s? — Lovin’ In The Loo, San Jose, CA
If you’re at a Minneapolis airport and happen to be a Senator, I highly recommend using neither. But if you aren’t, I think you should ask yourself this simple question: Who’s cleaner? Guys or girls? I think we all know the answer to that one. Guys seem to think a bathroom is a place where you can pee freely on the seat and take a massive dump without even lighting a match. If the thought of that makes you want to drop your britches, than have at it. If not, I suggest you use the women’s.
Polyester isn’t just a fashion faux pas, it also makes you un-effable, as researcher Mary Roach writes in her new history book Bonk: The Curious Couple of Science and Sex. She has compiled interesting studies from the 19th century up until today, including one from Egypt, which found lab rats in polyester pants had less sex than their cotton-covered counterparts. So while the ’70s were swinging, she actually credits the ’20s flappers for the American sexual revolution. “There were sex manuals at the time that were encouraging women to try being on top,” Roach reminds us. And my how we are now! From Kinsey’s research to Castro’s butt hole, Ms. Roach’s book approaches accounts of sexual experiments with an irreverent, albeit scientific, flair. While she laments that much remains unknown about the physiological ins and outs of sex, Roach took the research into her own, er, hands , nd this book is still sure to teach you a thing or two. [NPR and Amazon] Keep reading »