After watching the most recent episode of “Girls,” I came to a rather interesting conclusion. I think the world can safely be divided up into two types of people: 1) People who would laugh if their significant other peed on them (on purpose, as a surprise) in the shower and 2) people who would be mad if such a thing occurred. I am firmly in Camp Laugh Out Loud, along with Julie and Ami, while Winona and Jessica are in Camp Be Furious. (For those of you wondering where Option 3 — “would be turned on” — is, erotic golden showers are another subject entirely.)
Personally, I would laugh at the utter ridiculous ballsiness of such a prank. Plus, I’m not a germaphobe and even if I was, I figure urine is sterile and besides, I am in the shower cleaning already anyway. What’s NOT funny about that? Well, Hannah on “Girls” didn’t find it funny when new official boyfriend Adam pissed on her as a joke, but perhaps that’s because she’s young. Come to think of it, Jess and Winona are younger than Julie, Ami and I, so maybe appreciating a surprise golden shower for what it is — hilarious! — comes with age and maturity. Yes. That must be it.
Reason to wear a condom No. 437: Giving someone an STD can be really expensive. A 49-year-old Oregon woman won a lawsuit last week against the 69-year-old man she says gave her genital herpes on their fourth date, the Oregonian reports. The jury awarded her $900,000, almost the entire amount she’d been asking for, declaring that the incident had been 75% the man’s fault. “We all felt he should have told her—he had a responsibility to tell her,” one juror said. The plaintiff claimed the man had agreed to use a condom, but changed his mind at the last second, and only mentioned the disease afterward. Read more …
Musicians may have more sex than your average bear, but as the bad advice covered in these lyrics show, they may not always know what they’re talking about. The following are some egregious examples of misguided advice. Keep reading »
If I could have three wishes from a Genie they would be the following: Jason Giambi would happily agree to have sexwith me, drinking beer would dramatically improve my figure and the word “slut” would lose its negative connotation and become a widely accepted term of endearment far and wide. I’m pretty firm in my conviction that number twenty-three will eventually come around, but I’m afraid the other two wishes are a wee bit far-fetched. A girl can dream.
A girl can also embrace her “slut status” with grace and dignity. That’s right my friends. There are methods to the madness that is the promiscuous adult female. Sure, there are moments when she becomes completely crazy, but that’s half of the fun when you’re interacting with and living the life of a slut. Read more …
Earlier this week, the tabloid New York Post put out the headline every paper dreams of:
PHOTO EXCLUSIVE! TEACHER’S PET! Caught in action with student
The photo exclusive showed a 26-year-old teacher named Julie Warning amorously smooching her 18-year-old student, Eric Arty.
Of course, the Manhattan Theater Lab High School teacher was in the wrong here. Arty is over the age of consent, but Warning is still his teacher at his school. She deserves to be fired. But what isn’t getting enough attention is the fact that Eric Arty and four of his classmates each put in $100 on a bet to see who could hook up with “Miss Warning” first.
Eric, the winner, walked away with a $500 prize — as well as a gold seal of douchebaggery from moi. Keep reading »