Buffin’ the muffin. Tiptoeing through the two lips. Five knuckle gusset shuffle. Coochie cuddling. And, if you’re Irish, Tickling me Elmo. We all do it and we all have our favorite euphemisms for it—so why can’t we talk about it? Keep reading »
Like to help others…and yourself? Well, this is your weekend lady, because Babeland, purveyor of fine sex toys in New York City and Seattle, are offering 25% off their play things if you bring in five non-perishable food items. Wow! So grab some cans, hee hee, and be generous, the offer only lasts through Sunday. It’ll do your body and some one else good. Keep reading »
Yesterday, we suggested to you some sexy, pornographic reads from the Victorian Era. In today’s installment of alternative ways to get your porn: sleazy 60s novels. These series started flourishing just as sexual morals were finally loosening up—when Elvis captured America’s heart (and loins), and Nabokov’s Lolita was finally accepted as a non-pornographic work. While there are a bevy of options out there, the titles from Liverpool Library Press are particularly raunchy (and hilarious). Far from being politically correct, the quick reads feature titles like The Panty Salesman, Family Love, and The Unholy Master. Yet those are tame in comparison to some of the downright offensive ones like Nazi Joy Camp, Apache Vengeance, Rape Riot, and A Family Sandwich. Okay, fine, maybe these are more hilarious than they are seductive.
While they’re out of print, you can still get your hands on copies via used and vintage booksellers. After the jump, some excerpts. Keep reading »
Back in March, the State of New Jersey actually tried to ban Brazilian waxes after two women got infections from unsanitary salons. In neighboring New York City, one woman was even hospitalized for 15 days after she got a bad infection from going bald at a dirty spa. The poor gal almost lost her leg from cellulitis. But in the face of those cases, an industry that thrives on hairy situations wasn’t just going to hide in the bush! As we ladies know, all salons aren’t created equal, some are just nasty. That’s no reason to penalize the clean peeps who are fighting the good fight against body hair, especially during bikini season. So, luckily for those visiting the Jersey shore beaches this summer, the ban did not stand! Or as spa proprietress, Linda Orsuto, said: “The government has been picking our pockets for so long, it was like: ‘Just stay out of our pants, will you?’” Ha! Well, it’s good to have a sense of humor about the man trying to keep you down, but when it comes to our downtown, you gotta be smart. Here’s what you need to know if you’re going to get a bikini wax. Keep reading »
Have you ever seen the Stanley Kubrick movie “Eyes Wide Shut,” starring then-married couple Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman? If so, remember the scene where Cruise’s character goes to that weird mansion and there’s all those masked people having sex and it’s super creepy? Well, that happened for realz in Somerset, England this week, when hundreds of rich people got together for a costume party and it descended into an orgiastic good time. Keep reading »
We hear about relationships torn apart by internet porn addiction, but where are the support groups for smut-loving women like me, who suddenly and inexplicably get turned off by porn when they fall in love? Before I met my boyfriend, I was visiting youporn.com about a half an hour a day, hunting through dozens of clips to find the one most perfectly calibrated to turn me on.
Keep reading »
Just because something is old-fashioned doesn’t mean it’s useless. Case in point: Victorian literature that focuses on the erotic. Check out these original dirty reads from the bygone era…
Keep reading »
Hustler, who brought you “Nailin’ Paylin” and The XXX Cosby Show featuring The F**kstables, has finally spoofed another pop culture coochie: Lindsay Lohan. While LiLo used to be one of the hardest working girls in show business, now it seems she can’t even get a role playing herself in a porno! Although, maybe this adult movie has finally figured out the timeless Hollywood career question, “Who Do I Have To Blow To Get A Job Around Here?” Answer: Samantha Ronson, Scarlett Johansson, Paris Hilton, and porn king of peens, Ron Jeremy. Hm, we think they forgot top dog producer Harvey Weinstein…. Keep reading »
Having a little trouble staying a virgin until your wedding night? Do you also have an iPhone? Then download the Purity Ring iPhone app where you can take a pledge to be chaste until marriage and look at a digital picture of a purity ring, instead of wearing one. [Cause that would be, like, totally embarrassing. -- Editor]
According to the Guardian, the iPhone app has pre-recorded pledges for both boys and girls and will only display the ring after the pledge is made. Available at the iTunes store, kiddies. But so you know, further investigation is needed to ascertain whether you can actually count on a digital purity ring when temptation strikes… [Guardian UK] Keep reading »
It’s been, let’s see, almost three months since I’ve gotten laid. I’ve done a little making out, but in general, most of my sexual satisfaction these days is from watching “True Blood” every Sunday on HBO. It’s been a big year for vampires, but an even bigger one for vampire sex, which has got everyone from teenagers and Midwestern moms, to geek fan boys and, um, twentysomething bloggers obsessed with how they have it (“True Blood”) and how they resist having it (in “Twilight”). In both of these examples, the human is female and the vampire is male. That’s given some the idea that the vampire sex is bad for women because it fetishizes the meshing of sex, violence, and romance. To that I say, whatevs. If this fantasy is bad for women, well, then it’s good for me. Keep reading »