It’s Murphy’s Law of unexpected sex: If you are wearing the most unfortunate/unflattering/complicated article of clothing, you will be getting laid. If you get all dolled up in your favorite “f**k me” outfit with your wrinkle-proof dress, new La Perla lingerie and freshly shaved legs it’s almost a guarantee that no man will so much as glance at you. But put on your pajamas to go get toilet bowl cleaner at the drug store, and the hottest man you’ve ever seen will invite you over to his place. Why? We don’t know. This is just how spontaneous sex happens. It’s not fair. But life isn’t fair. You have to roll with it. Hike up those PJ pants and pray he doesn’t notice the chocolate stains. After all, you never know when you’ll have the opportunity again. The worst things you can be wearing when the penis of your dreams arises … Keep reading »
Colorado man, Kenneth Dejoie, got more than a roast beef sandwich when he visited his local Arby’s two years ago. Dejoie claims that he was “utilizing the urinal in the men’s restroom when it caused a jet of steam to shoot forth from the urinal and burn his genitals.” When he reported the incident to one of the employees he responded with “This happens when the sink in the kitchen is running.” That answer didn’t satisfy the man with the scalded sausage, so he decided to sue the fast food chain. He is seeking damages for financial losses, for not being able to have sex with his wife and for their all-around crappy food. I just added that last part. Something about the color of their roast beef has never seemed right to me. Now I understand why: They cook it in the urinal. We hope Dejoie and his penis get the compensation they deserve. Keep on clicking to hear about more really insane penis accidents. [CBS Denver]
As you are well-aware, men’s love affair with the female breast goes back centuries, perhaps to the beginning of time (before chomping on the apple, Adam may not have known the significance of Eve’s frontal accoutrements, but he knew what he liked). Guys go out of their way to get a glimpse of them at every opportunity, and spend obscene amounts of hard-earned cash just to watch nubile hotties bare their bounteous assets in seedy, sweaty, prurient palaces, ironically referred to as, “gentlemen’s clubs.” Such is our complete infatuation with your blessed bosom.
But why this udder devotion? And what specifically draws us to your mellifluous mammaries? Read on as I try to offer a little insight into mans’ magnificent obsession.
1) We like how your breasts look: Contrary to what you may think, regardless of size, we find your boobs fascinating. Whether they’re large and luxurious or small and sporty, we’re hot for your hooters. And while individual men may have a preference for a particular size or shape, overwhelmingly we’re enticed by your charms, be they pendulous or pert, pouty or protuberant. Read more …
I knew Maria Menounos was an “Extra” host, and I think if pressed I could have told you she was a contestant on “Dancing With the Stars.” I had no idea, however, that she occasionally appears as a professional wrestler for the WWE, or that she likes to be choked while having an orgasm. Oh, the things you learn on the Howard Stern show!
While Stern is well-known for his salacious interview style, amidst the talk of whether or not Menounos hooked up with her “DWTS” partner Derek Hough (she swears she didn’t, Stern didn’t believe her), she actually ended up discussing a pretty serious subject. Apparently Menounos has a phobia of doctors, and with good reason: according to her, she’s been molested during medical examinations. On multiple occasions.
Menounos told Stern that her first unpleasant medical encounter happened when she visited a doctor for a throat issue. She says he first asked her to change into a hospital gown, and then proceeded to touch her genitals. Read more …
If you watched, or hosted, a late night TV show at any point since the mid-1990s you probably remember the story of Lorena Bobbit. Bobbit captured the national imagination when she used a kitchen knife to cut off her husband’s penis while he slept. That one incident alone paid for at least three of Jay Leno’s very expensive cars.
What happened in the typically sleepy San Francisco suburb of Fremont this week was a little different. Fremont police report they responded to a 911 call early Thursday morning to find a 20-year old man who had cut off his own penis with an X-Acto knife.
“Whether it’s paper, wood, cloth or any other material, X-Acto knives let you cut through almost anything with precision and ease,” X-Acto’s website reads. Read more …