I don’t know what else is going on in Pub 500 in Mankato, Minnesota, but apparently it’s enough to warrant the installation of the “first ever” pregnancy test vending machine in the ladies’ room. I’m kidding, actually: it was not Pub 500 that installed the pee sticks for their lady patrons — they came courtesy of Healthy Brains For Children, which seeks to reduce fetal alcohol syndrome in kids. Women can buy pregnancy tests for $3 in dispensers similar to the ones that sell tampons and pads. The group hopes that more women will learn if they are pregnant before getting their bun in the oven totally sauced. Eventually the group hopes to install the vending machines in malls, gas stations and gyms as well. The ladies room location seems weird to me and possibly has the potential of causing more problems than it solves. Like, I can just see drunk couples at the bar getting into arguments over “Oh my God, are you pregnant? Why did you just buy a pregnancy test in the bathroom?” kind of stuff. And I’m especially confused about the Minnesota location. Shouldn’t this pilot program have been installed in Seaside Heights? [CityPages]
I feel it is my duty to let you know when I learn of sexual fetishes you might not have been aware of. Just in time for summer, LA Weekly has the scoop on balloon fetishists. “Looners,” like to blow up (“blow to pop”), sit on (“sit to pop”), straddle, wear, hug or hump balloons for sexual gratification. There are two distinct camps in the looning community: “Poppers” and “non-poppers.” The “poppers” are aroused when they’ve ridden or played with their balloon to the point of explosion, while non-poppers become attached to the inflatable as a sexual partner. OK, with me so far? You may have already heard about balloon fetishists, but what you might not have known is that this fetish may extend to inflatable pool toys (animals, pool rafts, tubes) as well. Keep reading »
Hey readers, here’s your daily shudder: Actor Fred Willard was arrested last night on suspicion for “lewd conduct” after he was allegedly spotted masturbating in a porn theater. And just in case you’d like a mental picture to go with that news, you may know Fred from movies like “This Is Spinal Tap,” “Best in Show,”" The Anchorman,” and the television show “Modern Family.”
During a routine police inspection of the Tiki Theater in Los Angeles (routine inspection, riiight), the 72-year-old was allegedly caught literally with his pants down, hand firmly grasping his gizzard-like genitals. And the rest is Hollywood humiliation history. But maybe he was just doing research for his next role? Apparently he’s been cast in a film called “The Yank.” Read more …
On occasion, I get mildly – just mildly – depressed. That sort of depressed where you can’t quite pin it on one particular thing, where it’s more a general, ambiguous malaise. On the occasions when I find myself feeling this way, and as a single woman in her 30′s who lives alone and works from home, I try to get out of the house. On one such occasion, I decided to treat myself to brunch. I did so at a restaurant down the block from my apartment, a spot I dined at, on average, two times a week. Whenever I go in there, I arrive with book in hand, sit at the bar, order a glass of wine, followed by a bowl of soup, followed by a cup of hot water. The routine, as a whole, prompted frequent urination, which both A) provided helpful intermissions to my reading, and B) helped me, as a Solo Diner, to look occupied.
The restaurant’s most winning feature is – and has always been – a loin-achingly handsome waiter I shall henceforth call Brian.* If you imagine both John Lennon and Justin Timberlake at their most handsome of stages, shaken, stirred, poured into a tall glass of water, you’d wind up with Brian. I knew, as all patrons knew, that Brian was to be not obtained, merely ogled; that one did well to appreciate him as exquisite décor rather than realistic option. Keep reading »
Introducing the PantyO, a pair of undies that force you to do your recommended daily kegel exercises. The panties, adorned with Swarovski crystals (but why?), come with a one-inch long silicone extension, which goes into the vagina and provides a “focus point” for kegels. OK. So let’s just break this down here. I get that kegels are important — they keep your bladder in tip-top condition and strengthen the pelvic wall and make you more orgasmic and stuff. I’m not anti-kegel. BUT … do I need to do my kegels while I’m trying to live my life? Do I need to walk around with the equivalent of a one-inch dildo inside of me all day? Like while I’m at work, out running errands or at dinner with friends? NO. That sounds awkward. Not to mention uncomfortable. But maybe I’m just being obtuse or something. People, please tell me if I am missing something here. Would you pay $85 to wear these Swarovski crystal encrusted kegel panties? [Daily Mail UK]