I spent most of last week being confused/disturbed by Panty O’s new kegel panties, which allow you to exercise your vaginal muscles while you wear the underwear. I found this frightening, but then I received a press release for the Magic Banana. Never heard of it? I hadn’t either. It’s a flexible accessory for “strengthening your inner magical muscles.” I’m not going to get anymore detailed, but I think you should watch the instructional video. Just do it. It uses the phrase “in the smiling position.” So it’s marketed as a kegel exerciser that is supposed to help you achieve multiple orgasms.
The Magic Banana led me down a kegel wormhole. Pun intended. Let me warn you, most kegel exercise products are pastel and look like Medieval torture devices. But if your vagina’s been slacking off, you might want to check out some of the products available to work the lazy girl out.
Thieves stole a man’s penis while he slept, according to police.
Fei Lin, 41, of the Niqiao village near Wenling City, in east China’s Zhejiang province, told police he was asleep when the thieves burst into his room and put a bag over his head, according to CEN/EUROPICS and as reported in the Daily Star.
“They put something over my head and pulled down my trousers and then they ran off,” Lin said. “I was so shocked I didn’t feel a thing – then I saw I was bleeding and my penis was gone.” Read more …
Edinburgh college professor Gavin Bradford was deemed “unfit to teach” by Scotland’s General Teaching Council after allegedly asking a female student to shove a pie down his pants. With further investigation, the Council discovered that the 37-year-old performing arts lecturer at Coatbridge College had a history of inappropriate behavior with female students. While working at a college in Ontario, he was said to have asked more than 20 female college students to smear themselves in ketchup and eggs and pour sour milk into their underwear. He allegedly asked girls (some as young as 12) to participate in these food fetish acts late night, via webcam.
That is absolutely disgusting. I’m relieved to hear that he has lost his right to teach. While performance art occasionally includes the smearing of food on the body by one’s self a la Karen Finley, there is absolutely no justification for this kind of lewd violation in the classroom or after hours. I guess that’s why Bradford didn’t show up to his hearing. [BBC]
Christian Grey is damn near God-like — at least according to guests’ bedside tables in The Damson Dene Hotel. Bibles have been booted and E L James’ BDSM erotica novel 50 Shades of Grey has taken their place in every room within the English inn. Damson Dene’s owner said providing a copy of the book to every guest within the 40-room hotel was “a hospitable thing to do.” Keep reading »
This weekend, the worst thing ever happened. And by the worst thing ever, I mean a used condom landed on top of my cell phone.
O’Boyfriend and I were, uhhhh, using a condom. And then we were done using the condom. And then because I didn’t want it or its contents spilling on my bedsheets, I suggested he throw it in the wastepaper basket. So LeBron James over here tossed it in the direction of the trash … and it landed on top of my iPhone. Keep reading »
The Republican National Convention is August 27 to 30 in Tampa, Florida, and that means the area’s 40 strip clubs are scrambling to get ready. Strip club owners say that during the 2009 Super Bowl in Tampa, they doubled and tripled the number of dancers. What will happen for this GOP-palooza? Well, you’ll be happy to hear the Sarah Palin-lookalike stripper is booked. Another club has set up an online chatroom called the Club Cam where deep-pocketed Republicans can chat with strippers — for $4-a-minute, plus a $19.99 monthly membership — before their plane even lands in Tampa. Hey, what recession?! [TampaBayOnline] [Photo: Getty]