“Call me in one hour and tell me your boyfriend dumped you,” I told my girl friend as we stood outside the movie theater where we had just seen “Magic Mike.” “If the party’s weird and I want to leave, I’ll say ‘Oh my God, are you okay? I’ll come meet you!’ Got it?”
“Sure thing,” my friend promised.
“I’m texting you the address I’m going to right now,” I told her, tapping on my iPhone. “Just in case these people turn out to be rapist-murderers.”
“I’m sure they’ll be fine,” she soothed me. We hugged goodbye and parted at a street corner. “Have fun!” is what she called as I walked away.
Have fun at your spanking party is what she meant. Keep reading »
According to a study done by “The Today Show” and Match.com, one in three single people would give up sex for a year before they would forgo their favorite food. OK, I can kind of understand that. Salted dark chocolate! But here’s the really depressing part. While many of the 4,000 singles polled mentioned steak or chocolate (I concur) as a foods worth sacrificing sex for, there were a slew of sad ass singles who said they would give up sex for SALAD. SALAD. I said SALAD. Unacceptable. Salad is great and all. It’s healthy and satisfying and I eat it almost every day for lunch. But even the most delicious salad in the history of the world does not trump humping. I conducted my own informal poll of ladies here at The Frisky office. After the jump, the things we would actually choose over a year of sex. Hint: NOT SALAD. Keep reading »
A student has filed a lawsuit against the professor of a human sexuality class in Western Nevada College because he required students to keep sex journals for class in which they had to detail their masturbation habits, sexual habits, and past sexual abuse. Karen Royce said professor Tom Kubistant and the department chairman and college president, who are also being sued, dismissed her complaints that the assignments were “sexual harassment.” Keep reading »
This July 4th, celebrate our nation’s birth not just by watching fireworks, but by setting off some of your own. Don’t just eat BBQ, play hide the sausage. OK, these double entendres are played out. We know it. We’ ll just come right out and say it: Whatever your plans may be this holiday, assert your (sexual) Independence by making time for a good ‘ol outdoor romp. The holiday requires it. Just don’t get caught. Unless you’re into that kind of thing. After the jump, our suggestions … Keep reading »
There’s breaking news like Anderson Cooper coming out or ObamaCare being upheld by the Supreme Court, and then there’s breaking news that is way less important, but equally as impactful. For example, the revelation that there is a solution for the excessively gassy individuals of this great nation. Flat-D disposable fart deodorizers are the product that people with digestive disorders have been dreaming of. There is no cure for gas, but this product is a simple solution which will allow everyone to fart with confidence. Just place the pad inside your underwear and let your gaseous emissions activate the carbon in the Flat-D pad, which absorbs and masks fart odor. For additional flatulence support at work, you can purchase Flat-D chair pad. I know some people whose lives will be changed by the Flat-D, although I’m not mentioning any names. [Laughing Squid]
I’m a fan of referring to pubic hair sans styling as “fur pie,” because it makes everyone in The Frisky offices squeal for some reason. Maybe from now on I’ll just say “1962″ and hope everyone gets my pubic drift. If they watch this clever Playboy South Africa video about how ladies have styled their pubic hair throughout the ages via dude’s hairstyles — totally safe for work! — they certainly will. [The Gloss]