I am not a beach person. The way seagulls swoop over your head like rats with wings terrifies me. I hate that feeling of sand caked in every crevice.
But when my friend Thomas invited my husband and I to a nude federal beach in New Jersey, rumored to be filled with spectacularly hung men and tanned, pierced women, I decided it was something worth trying.
“I think we should go,” I told my husband.
Maybe it was because I needed a change. Spring had been of those staying-in-bed-smoking-cigarettes instead of going out seasons. I found myself fighting a constant drowsiness and listening to Jewel. Some days it took an effort to look both ways before crossing the street. Keep reading »
We did you a favor and watched the Hulk Hogan sex tape so you don’t have to. It is indeed as cringeworthy as it sounds. We’re all contemplating gouging our eyes out. Here are worst things about it: first, that Hulk Hogan is naked. But also, that the alleged woman in the tape is Heather Clem (the ex-wife of his best friend Bubba the Love Sponge who appears to be in the house while all this is happening WHAT?), that Brooke Hogan’s song is the ring tone on his phone and that it rings while he’s in the middle of bizness, that he tells a story about his son’s girlfriend propositioning him for sex, that he keeps referring to himself as a pig because he just ate so much and last but not least, he says “you’re awesome” as he walks out the door. That’s all you really need to know. Never again shall we speak of it.
Final thoughts on the sex tape: why couldn’t it have been Ryan Lochte instead? We would have rather watched him having one of his one-night-stands, screaming out “Jeah!” during orgasm. It hardly ever works that way though, does it?
Click onward for more of the most disturbing sex tapes to ever burn our retinas and the ones we wish we’d seen instead. [DListed]
I still don’t understand why bachelor/bachelorette parties need to involve strippers. Can’t everyone just go make pottery or something? Whatever. I guess that’s none of my concern. Here’s a story that will make you think twice about celebrating your last days of singledom with strippers. Back in November of
2012 2010, Philadelphia groom-to-be, Patrick Gallagher, was expecting a grand ol’ time when he purchased the “Bachelor’s Package” at a local strip club. The special bachelor treatment included him joining strippers onstage for a special show. That’s when things went very wrong. Keep reading »
Japan’s SPA magazine recently published an article called “The Ultimate Form Of Slob,” about the masculinization of women, which appears to be manifesting itself in female “slob” behaviors. This includes slacking on cleanliness in homes, refusing to maintain hairless bodies, and wait for it … wearing diapers to avoid having to take bathroom breaks at work.
One of the 25-year-old “slobs” interviewed in the piece confessed to wearing a diaper to work for the last six months to save her the trouble of having to use the toilet. LIKE, SHE PEES IN HER DIAPER AND SITS IN IT. Apparently, this trend is catching on and some drugstores have started stocking their feminine hygiene sections with lots of adult diapers. Keep reading »
The first time I went in to get my intrauterine device, or IUD, my doctor asked me if I was in a relationship.
“Um, kind of?” I stammered. “I mean, no. But you know, I hear this is the way to go as far as, you know, protectiveness.”
“Hrm,” she said, flipping her chart closed. This was the first time I’d been to this gynecologist, who ran her practice in my tiny suburban hometown. I was 20, home from school on Christmas break, and tired of frantically eyeing the moon and waiting for my period once a month. Keep reading »