Trash the “Twilight” franchise all you want, but they know how to build some sexual tension. Four movies in, Bella and Edward finally had sex — rough sex, actually! — and I can’t be the only one who got a little turned on. Here’s comedienne Julie Klausner hosting a “Twilight” horniness focus group to get to the bottom of just how sexy “Breaking Dawn, Part Two” will be. She’s a vampire now you guys. They’re body temperature is the same. [NYMag.com]
Well, for starters, because it’s dangerous and you could die like a couple in South Africa did back in 2008. Also, because you might cause train delays as was the case for a couple in Sweden who were caught doing it in a car parked way too close to the tracks.
“Often when cars are sitting near the tracks, it can be copper thieves at work or unfortunately a person who has tired of life,” the train dispatcher Mattias Hellberg explained. “It was two people who were very happy and having a little moment of passion. The driver told them they weren’t being very discrete there and asked them to get moving.”
This seems like common sense to me, but I suppose a reminder is in order. Having sex on or near the train tracks is a really stupid idea. [The Local]
Dan Savage suggests fucking before dinner. And yeah, that’s probably the best policy when it comes to huge holiday meals like Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner. But if you can’t make that happen for whatever reason (and there are plenty of reasons, like FAMILY STRESS), you might find yourself in an emotional place where you need to seek solace in the comfort of sex after the biggest meal of your life. If that’s the place you find yourself in, or if holidays just make you horny, there are ways to work around that five-pound food baby in your stomach. Some tips for post-huge dinner sex after the jump. Keep reading »
When you become president, something in your brain snaps. You’re a normal person for a while, and then, as soon as you take your oath on Inauguration Day, the part of your brain that normally makes sure you don’t get too weird with sex collapses in on itself, and a new game begins. The rules are different.
And I’m not just talking about infidelity (of which at least Jefferson, Harding, FDR, JFK, LBJ and Clinton were all guilty), and I’m not just talking about regularly having sex outside (of which John Quincy “Without a Doubt Our Ugliest President” Adams was guilty). I’m talking about the weird stuff. The weird stuff. Read more …
Ever rolled over in the morning to snuggle your dude and got jabbed in the belly button? Thought so. That’s because all men experience “noctural penile tumescence,” AKA morning wood. As the folks as ASAP Science explain above, morning wood has to do with REM sleep, a neurotransmitter called norepinephrine, and even the dude’s bladder. I used to think men just awoke horny because I’m so damn sexy! Sadly, the cold, hard truth is less flattering. (Did you see what I did there?) [Towel Road]
No, I have not read the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy and I don’t plan to. Maybe I’ll read it like 50 years from now when I’m nursing-home bound and desperate for some entertainment. But right now, the universe is so saturated with everything Fifty Shades that I refuse. What can I say, I tend to rebel against trends. I’ve been that way since pre-school when all the girls said their favorite color was pink, so, I said mine was purple because I was annoyed by the conformity. But this is not about me. This is about Fifty Shades of Grey and how I suspect it’s ruining the world.
This week, my worst fears were confirmed when a British couple cited “unreasonable differences” over Fifty Shades of Grey as a cause for their divorce. Stated simply: they are divorcing because of a poorly-penned book. I rest my case.
But if you need more evidence, please click through and see how E.L. James’ “Twilight” fan-fiction- turned-BDSM-erotica-novel is destroying lives.