Zergnet: Simply Irresistable
Confession: I once had a black belt in ways to get out of doin’ it. Until something “snapped” at age 24 and I finally enjoyed sex, I Dreaded having intercourse with a capital D. Don’t get me wrong; I was plenty sexual—I just loathed the part where a guy’s penis entered me and moved around. What was there to enjoy about something that felt like a probing gyno exam where you’re trapped in the stirrups? Lucky for me, something changed last February and I began to desire sex for pleasure, commencing a joyous slutty phase to make up for lost time. But if you’re still stuck in that dark tunnel of crappiness where I was, ages 17 to 24, trust me, I feel for you. Who’d have thunk not many guys in their early 20s would want a sexual relationship with no intercourse?
So, I read with interest the Daily Mail‘s list of the top 10 excuses women give to get out of sex, like “I’ve got to get up in the morning” and “You need a shower.” It’s a good start, but I can think of quite a few other ways … Keep reading »
Filament magazine, a for-women-by-women porno from England, ran into a spot of trouble recently. Quite inconveniently, their prudish printer refused to publish pictures of erections for fear of offending their other clients. How rude! Unfortch, that printer was 30 percent cheaper than other printers, so Filament‘s hands were tied—and not in a good way. But Filament just announced on their blog they were able to sell 328 copies and raise enough money to switch to pricier—and more liberal—printers. Hooray! You catch a preview of Filament‘s second issue online now and order a copy if it strikes your fancy.
I must say, the absolute best part of this story, however, isn’t that the porno mag can now print its peens. It’s how Filament posted a pic of a sexy guy sleeping in bed with a big black warning label over his crotch, which read “MAY OFFEND WOMEN.” Perhaps if you’re a woman who is easily offended by erections, you shouldn’t be looking at porn? [Filament Magazine] Keep reading »
Thinking about relocating? Better check out Manhunt’s state-by-state penis size ranking. The gay hookup site had their users “self-identify” how many inches they’re packing below the belt (erect or flaccid, we’re not sure) and then averaged out the sizes in each state. So which state has the biggest boner? Washington, D.C. came in first with 7.59 inches of man meat, while New York (7.5 inches) and California (7.45 inches) came in second and third. As for the smallest? Sadly for those of us anticipating Levi Johnston’s nudie spread, Alaska came in dead last at 6.34 inches. Well, it is cold there. Shrinkage should really be taken into account, no? [BuzzFeed] Keep reading »
My 85-year-old Grandma has got some serious game and an even hotter love life than I do. Still dating in her golden years, my grams finally settled down and moved in with her sexy new boyfriend. He’s 94, also a Holocaust survivor, and a total charmer. They spend the winters at her condo in Boca (that’s Boca Raton, Florida, natch), and the summers at his place in New York. Clearly, she knows what she’s doing when it comes to men! So, while she’s in town, I’ve been hassling my own personal dating guru to share her secrets with us Frisky gals. Last episode, she gave us the inside scoop on the best places to meet men, masturbation, sex back in the day, and having a porn addiction. But this time, I really went there and asked my grammy about dating friends, blow jobs, who should pay for a date, and anal sex. Yes, anal. What, did you think I’d let her get off easy?
Got a question for Simcha’s grandma? Email firstname.lastname@example.org—no topic is off limits for this silver fox! And she loves reading your emails. Keep reading »
Over the weekend, I got an urgent letter from a lady who thinks she might be knocked-up. Here’s what she wrote:
“My boyfriend always pulls out when we’re having sex. He’s usually super reliable, but last night he slipped up and came inside me. I freaked at him, but then this morning I got my period, thank god. So I’m in the clear, right?”
Um, sorry hot stuff, the answer is no. You can get preggers even during your period. I know, it sucks, but that’s why I’m urgently answering your email. Lucky for you, there’s the morning-after pill (aka, Plan B). It’s an over-the-counter miracle! By preventing conception, it stops you from having to answer that existential question: Should I be a mom, right now? Keep reading »
In a supreme stroke of moronic-ness, this Friday Alabama’s Supreme Court upheld a 1998 ban on selling sex toys on Friday. It’s still perfectly legal to go Down South on yourself in private, thank God. But Alabama’s highest court said the legislature is allowed to ban the sale of sex tales in public, meaning it’s a crime to sell someone a vibrator or a paddle! A sex shop in Hoover, AL, called Love Stuff challenged the ban on the grounds it violated a horny person’s right to sexual privacy, yet the heat-addled judicial brains in Alabama upheld the ban as matter of public morality. Sorry, but the only thing morally wrong with this is making the good folks of Alabama wait 3-5 business days for a vibe to come in the mail. [The Birmingham News] Keep reading »
One dude is going to extreme lengths to stop himself from masturbating. Brian “Head” Welch, who used to play guitar is that awful band KoRn (yeah, I said it!) and is already heavily tattooed, has gotten JESUS tattooed across his knuckles so he’s deterred from playing his own instrument. How not metal. He explains:
“The Jesus tattoo on my hand keeps me from masturbating and I haven’t been with a woman since my ex-wife left me almost five years ago. I go to those extremes to be like Christ and it works for me.”
Sexy Tech: Vivid Entertainment’s Steve Hirsch Wants To Put Porn On PlayStation 3, X On Xbox 360 (Ex)
A few days ago the gaming news site Kotaku had an interview with Steve Hirsch, CEO of the Vivid Entertainment porn empire, about his hopes to deliver high-definition adult entertainment to the Playstation 3, XBOX 360, and Nintendo Wii over the PlayStation Network and similar services now that Sony has seemingly paved the way for such content in Japan, where DDM.TV now brings on-demant adult content to the PlayStation 3.
“Our point is pretty simple,” Hirsch told Kotaku. “As long as age verification is in place that (Sony) feels comfortable with we see no reason why adults shouldn’t be allowed to access adult movies on the Playstation 3.”
I’m working from home today, and while I miss my special Frisky lady friends, I have to admit, I miss something else about going into the office more: strutting past the construction workers. Our office building is currently getting not one, but two new store fronts. So, everyday, I’ve got to walk past roughly a dozen sweaty studs handling their equipment. Am I the luckiest girl in the world or what?! Plus, despite how often they see me, they always manage to find new ways to describe my bang-ability on the daily. And I love them for it. (Although, I have yet to nail a handyman. Sigh.) But I have picked up a few sexy tips just from having all those dirty men around. I’m going to tell you what I know, but please help me pray that the Mexican restaurant and coffee shop stay under construction for a while longer …