“It’s really straight guys who get the bum rap. The way straight people have redefined marriage, and the way they define sexuality, it’s really unrealistic about male sexuality … And reading letters from straight guys made me hugely sympathetic to straight guys. And I was already sympathetic to straight women, because men are pigs and I sleep with men so know what that’s like. I arrived sympathetic to straight women—I became sympathetic to straight men, reading these bat-shit letters from straight guys who were being terrorized and being driven crazy, because sex is scarce if you’re a straight guy.”
– Dan Savage on being a gay man giving sex advice to straight men. You can read some more really interesting excerpts from Dan Savage: The First Gay Celebrity, an e-book by Mark Oppenheimer here. I never really thought about sex being scarce for straight guys. I was too busy thinking about how sex was scarce for me. But I suppose that has been, for the most part, by choice.[The Atlantic]
Are you feeling a bit bored in the bedroom? Is sex with your spouse feeling awfully routine lately? If so, help is on the way.
In this video, relationship coach, sex therapist and YourTango Expert Moushumi Ghose explains that “in long term relationships, sexuality ebbs and flows. Sometimes the sex will be exciting and passionate and sometimes its going to be a bit of a lull.”
Moushumi suggests that “[i]t’s very important that you communicate your needs to your wife as well as asking your wife what her needs are and what needs that she might not be getting met.” To have a healthy marriage and sex life, “communication is key.” Read more and watch the video!
A few years ago ….
Today, in 2012, I avoid him as much as I can. But my friend (?) Richard used to joke (?) that I only called him when I broke up with my boyfriends. Kinda true, kinda false. Regardless — a few years ago — I don’t even call him this time, I just end up at his apartment for some small party.
He scents the pain in me, and suddenly we’re in a back room, alone. One of the reasons he’s so good at this is that he smells vulnerability like a shark smells blood. I don’t remember whether I ask him to hurt me, or he just grabs me. “Something’s close to the surface,” I tell him, while he leaves bite-shaped bruises on my upper arm. He knows me; he doesn’t leave bruises in places I can’t cover with a t-shirt.
“What is it?” he asks, and I choke on it. I’m already starting to cry. We’ve only been doing this for a moment.
“Red,” I say. The safeword. I’m sobbing. “Red.” Richard stops immediately. “Tears,” I say. “Tears were close to the surface.” Keep reading »
What we consider “erotic” has changed drastically since the turn of the century. In the late-1800s/early-1900s, all it took was some cleavage and a book to make people blush. If only it was still that easy! Reading is still sexy, but unfortunately, not remotely pornographic. Click through to see what was risque back in the day. [izismile]
“You know what’s so funny is, I actually think there’s a new feminism that is completely different and I don’t think either is better or worse. Any kind of feminist has valid views for herself about what it means to be a feminist, but, as a new-age feminist, I would say I quite like the transference of strength I feel by submitting to a man – being under him. I actually wrote a song about it on my album, it’s called “GUY” and it stands for “Go Under You.” So wearing makeup, smelling delicious and having suckable, kissable, edible things between your limbs is something I find strengthening because I know that when I pick the right guy, I can let him have it. Some women feel oppressed by make-up and clothing, and here’s to them, they have every right to feel that way as well.”
– Lady Gaga actually says the resonant thing about feminism — to me — that that I’ve heard a pop star say. Yes, it’s possible to be a savvy businesswoman and multi-million-record-selling pop star but also submit to a man in the bedroom for sexual fantasy! And yes, it’s possible to be a feminist and choose to wear makeup! And yes, it’s possible to be a feminist and choose not to wear makeup! I don’t know quite what Gaga is rambling about with the “suckable, kissable, edible things between your limbs” part, though. Guess she likes to play with her food? (Ironically, however, this photo was taken while she was visiting accused rapist/Wikileaks founder Julian Assange in London, proving there is no “perfect feminist.”) [Stylist UK] [Photo: Bauer-Griffin]