Between my college course on the performativity of witchcraft, my thorough reading of the Malleus Maleficarum (in Olde English), my Bigfoot conspiracist boyfriend, my alien obsessed middle school teacher and my background in Jungian psychology, I have some thoughts on Ke$ha’s recent claim that she had sex with a ghost. Last week, while promoting her new single “Supernatural,” she told Ryan Seacrest on his radio show that she “had a couple of experiences with the supernatural. I don’t know his name! He was a ghost! I’m very open to it,” she revealed.
These alleged “experiences” happened while Ke$ha was on a “spirit journey” by herself. Meaning, she traveled around the world, lived on a boat and did stuff like rehabilitate baby lions and swim with sharks. I’ve never had the time, nor the funding, to go on a spirit journey, but trust, I would if I could. My version of a “spirit journey” was participating in a Native American sweat ritual and having a pendulum reading by a psychic. Same difference, right? While I’ve never had ghost sex of any kind, I have had some bizarre supernatural experiences myself. So, I’m going to give Ke$ha the benefit of the doubt here, but still temper it with some skepticism. Here are my theories about her claim that she had supernatural sex.
Like Tim Patch aka Pricasso, I also get all my best ideas when I’m in the bathroom. Unlike him, it’s never occurred to me to make a smiley face with my pee. Lucky for Pricasso, this idea led him to start experimenting with using his penis (and sometimes his balls and/or bum) as a paintbrush. His penile painting career has proved to be a fruitful idea (aside from the potential gangrene he’s susceptible to from all the paint-to-penis contact), and now, Pricasso makes all of his masterpieces wearing nothing but a top hat and a bow tie. And because I know you were wondering, yes, he did find penile painting erotic and get raging boners when he first started his career, but now he’s gotten past that and he has great control of his tool. OMG, I kind of need that picture of Gordon Ramsey painted by his dick. [VICE]
The reasons to visit Tokyo just keep getting more and more bountiful. I can go to the naked robot burlesque restaurant or to Love Joule, a “love and sex bar dedicated to women.” It’s described as a place women “can openly discuss masturbation.” Behind the bar, instead of liquor bottles, are rows of vibrators, lube and other female friendly toys. The bar is part of a trend going on in Japan to do away with the taboo surrounding female masturbation, sex toys and female sexuality in general. To ensure that it’s a safe space for women, mann aren’t permitted in the bar unless accompanied by a female partner.
This sounds like a great idea in theory, but I have have a number of logistical questions that need to be addressed: Keep reading »
A new Summer’s Eve campaign called “ID the V” tests your knowledge of your own vagina. According to the quiz nearly 70 percent of women are unable to identify the five major parts of their own genitals. Wow, that seems like a really high, really depressing percentage. Anyhow, the idea of promoting knowledge about the V, and the whole concept of “to know it is to love it,” is great. Summer’s Eve is also donating $1 to I Am That Girl, an organization dedicated to inspiring confidence in women and girls, for the first 25,000 women who get a perfect score on the quiz. Also, great.
The fact that the quiz is moderated by a talking hand that refers to itself as a vagina, BIZARRE. The only thing that would have been stranger is if they had drawn pubic hair on the hand. “Honestly, between you and me,” coos the talking hand/vagina, “I almost got one wrong on my first try and I’m a vagina!” Is it a trick question? Like, wait! That’s not a vagina! That’s a talking hand! Ten bonus points. If 70 percent of women don’t know their anus from their clitoris, isn’t anatomy this bait and switch going to confuse them further? For the record, I got 100 percent on the quiz and the talking hand/vagina congratulated me with a “Thatta girl!” which made me feel extremely uncomfortable. [Summer's Eve]
If you’ve had a craving for rain forests, untapped deposits of raw minerals, and gigantic penises, now’s the time to head to the Republic of Congo. A new study ranked the world’s countries by average length of erect penises and found that the Congo is home to the most well-endowed individuals. At 7.1 inches, their enormous sex organs put them at the top, just above the male populations in Ecuador (7.0 inches), Ghana (6.8), Columbia (6.7), and Iceland (6.5).
Wondering where the good ol’ US of A falls on the world’s penis chart? Get out your magnifying glass … you’re gonna need it. Read more…
Another fall, another round of intense fashion weeks. Whether we’re talking Melbourne or Milan, one thing remains a constant — there are a lot of damn boobs on the runway. And sometimes they fall out of their shirts or stand at attention under sheer underthings. Here, we’ve captured the latest round of boobs on display during the spring/summer 2013 fashion week season. Don’t say we never did nothin’ for ya.