Can we all just agree, as a society, no oral sex on public transportation? Kthx. Two couples were filmed on a New York City subway giving/receiving blowjobs in a very NSFW video posted on World Star Uncut. It’s way too overacted to be real, in my opinion — or maybe I’m just not giving my blowjobs vigorously enough. Is this a spontaneous act of teenaged bad decision making? Porn actors filming a gonzo video? Does it matter? There could be no grosser setting than a 6 train car with the faint smell of urine and unforgiving flourescent lighting. BRB, off to buy my hand sanitizer in triplicate. [Gothamist]
Penises are the greatest, just on their own, chillin’, flaccid, doing nothing or erect, inserting themselves into orifices. Simply the best, those dicks. As wonderful as they are just being themselves, no penis lover can resist a member that goes above and beyond the call of duty. Click ahead to see some sexy penis moves that, when performed properly, have the power to blow our minds. Or at least make us laugh our asses off. Hey, laughter is sexy.
Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) is a combination of physical and emotional symptoms including bloating, cramps, headache, and mood swings that occurs consistently during the ten days prior to the start of menstrual flow and vanishes either shortly before or shortly thereafter. In other words, it’s what I like to call Hell Week, and that’s a drastic understatement.
In addition to the aforementioned typical symptoms, I also experience extreme fatigue, intense food cravings, insatiable hunger, unpredictable bouts of crying, and sporadic emotional meltdowns that often result in reevaluation of every major and minor life decision I’ve ever made. As I sit on the couch drowning Oreos in gallons of milk and contemplating joining the Peace Corps, it’s hard to remember these symptoms are just temporary. One Hell Week left me with a visceral hatred for my husband after he flushed my Oreos down the toilet. In retrospect, I can’t blame him. He watched in absolute horror and disgust as I shoved whole cookies, two at a time, into my mouth leaving crumbs all over my face and chest in a futile attempt to eat my fabricated pain away. He likened me to a crack fiend, so flushing the cookies down the toilet was probably a necessary intervention. Keep reading »
I remember climbing into Patrick’s pick-up truck in a fog of glittering sparklers. I remember noting that there was a giant penis shoe-polished on to the passenger side window. I remember taking an Instagram of us driving the few blocks back to our hotel. I remember being very excited about getting my shoes off.
And I remember being so, so exhausted. After our wedding, as soon as we got back to the hotel, I put on my tent-iest, most shapeless dress and some comfy Toms, curled up on the couch and said an enthusiastic “Yes!” to my favorite question, which is: Do you want a beer?
We’d stocked up the suite’s fridge with beverages and invited anyone who wanted to after-party with us to stop by post-reception. In the weeks before the wedding, I thought we might have something of a post-wedding rager with all our out-of-town friends and really get to sit down and hang out and talk, the way you really can’t do at a wedding reception.
I was wrong. I was the tiredest, sleepiest person who had just made a lifetime commitment to the man of her dreams ever. I really wanted to see all my old (and new!) friends. I really wanted to hear all about how the second floor of our hotel appeared to be hosting an extremely snazzy dance party. But mainly, I wanted to go to sleep. Keep reading »
I am a gal who enjoys watching porn. I have since I was a teen and used to put my ear up to the television speaker, volume real low so my parents couldn’t hear, listening to the moans and groans coming from the picture garbled Spice Channel. Nowadays, I get my porn for free online; I’m usually pretty whatever about what I watch — I click around until I find something that strikes me as hot (the actors or “real people” seem genuine, there isn’t a lot of annoying storyline, etc.) and hunker down for 5-10 minutes of self-lovin’. Until recently, I hadn’t really understood the notion of having a favorite porn star. With so many porn videos available on the web, how do you even keep track of who’s who? And, really, porn stars have never struck me as particularly compelling, especially the male stars, many of whom are really, really unattractive, their only attributes being, well, you know.
That is, however, until I came across Manuel Ferrara. Keep reading »