Are you a cucumber abuser? If you are, I think you know exactly what I mean by that. And it’s got to stop! The cucumbers can’t take it anymore! Created by an erotic shop called Sara’s Secret, these ads show just how traumatic life can be for poor, innocent cucumbers who find themselves in the hands of bored, sexually frustrated women. Don’t do it, girls! Go battery-powered instead. Or, there’s always the washing machine. [Agency Spy] Keep reading »
Last year, when the program launched with STD testing offered in eight schools, about 3,000 students participated and 13 percent of them tested positive for an STD, mostly gonorrhea or chlamydia. This year, all high school students will have the opportunity to participate in the program. They will attend a lecture and Q&A session about STDs. Then 15 to 20 of them at a time will be given paper bags containing urine collection cups and will be sent into bathroom stalls. Once students are in the stalls, they will decide whether or not they want to provide a urine sample. They’ll then return the paper bags with the container inside, either filled or not, so others won’t know whether they’ve given a sample. Students will then be given a password to use when they call in a week later to find out the tests’ results and receive treatment, if necessary. Keep reading »
My 85-year-old Grandma has got some serious game and an even hotter love life than me. Still dating in her golden years, my grams finally settled down and moved in with her sexy new boyfriend. He’s 94, also a Holocaust survivor, and a total charmer. They spend the winters at her condo in Boca (that’s Boca Raton, Florida, natch), and the summers at his place in New York. So, while she’s in town, I took the opportunity to ask my own personal dating guru to share her secrets with us Frisky gals. Here’s what Grandma’s got to say about the best places to meet men, masturbation, sex back in the day, and porn addiction. What, you think I’d let her get off easy?
Got a question for Simcha’s grandma? Email firstname.lastname@example.org — no topic is off-limits for this silver fox! Keep reading »
In Jamie Bufalino’s sex column in Time Out New York this week, a 30-year-old straight woman writes in to tell Jamie about a super-embarrassing moment she experienced during sex with her new boyfriend recently. She says:
This evening we are fooling around and I am straddling him but no actual intercourse. All of a sudden—OMG Jamie, I can’t even write this—I felt some sort of warm liquid under me…I don’t know WTF happened, there seriously was no warning whatsoever…but somehow, my body released runny, watery, disgusting, liquidy s**t. Not a lot, but definitely enough. Again, no signs of it coming, no stomach gurgling, no slipped fart, nada. Just straight-up liquid s**t. I stopped immediately, hopped into the shower, and wanted to curl up and disappear. He was actually very polite and understanding about it. I want to know, how the hell did this happen?!? Why was there no warning?!? I’m so disgusted and humiliated that I don’t know if I have the courage to ever see him again.
Hooray! Another product on the market designed to make women feel insecure about their womanly scent and taste! Linger: The Internal Feminine Flavoring is exactly what it sounds like — a mixer for your own personal body cocktail. Ahem:
A small, naturally sweetened flavoring, free of artificial dyes, which was created to flavor the secretions of a woman when she is sexually aroused. Linger is shaped for comfort during insertion and use, and is formulated to dissolve slowly, so the effects last and last…
This fruity vaginal suppository takes 45 minutes to an hour to dissolve completely, but the flavor lasts and lasts! With all the crap out there that seems to suggest that women are uncomfortable with their natural smell and taste, I have never heard a man complain. That’s why I decided to ask a couple guy friends, “How would you feel if your girlfriend used Linger?” Their answers, after the jump… Keep reading »
Well, it was bound to happen. Porn company Lethal Hardcore Video has spoofed the Sarah Palin/David Letterman feud for a flick called, ahem, “F**k My Mom and Me.” In the dirty movie, “Letterman” has sexual relations with both the former Governor (“Sara Paelin”) and her daughter (“Bristhole Paelin”). Has porn finally gone too far?! I’m sure Palin thinks so, but this is just another example of the negative side of putting your family in the limelight (and People magazine). As for the mother/daughter theme, this is hardly new. Porn with incestuous themes are pretty common — I’ve seen (and by “seen” I mean, uh, glimpsed, not watched) porn where two actresses, playing mother/daughter, sisters, etc. schtoop each other. I’ve even seen some twin porn and what’s icky about that is that it’s hard to fake identical twins. [AVN.com] Keep reading »
British sexpert, Bettina Arndt, asked 100 couples to keep diaries about their sex lives for a year. In her experience, spicing things up can really solve any problems in the bedroom and that’s what she was hoping to prove. While she expected to read some salacious tales of romantic rendezvous, what she got really put the love in love life. People bared their souls and divulged their deepest, darkest feelings — wait, men have feelings?! Just kidding! Arndt has just published her findings in The Sex Diaries: Why Women Go Soft And Other Bedroom Battles based on what the couples wrote in their journals. It sounds like the perfect summer read, but if you’re like us circa high school, you’d rather skim the Cliff’s Notes. Here are eight reasons why couples stop having sex. [Daily Mail] Keep reading »
When Stuart Brody of the West of Scotland University, Paisley, asked 99 women and 111 men about sexual pleasure, he found that the ones who go bareback handle stress better and experience less depression. Humans might be biologically programed to enjoy unprotected sex, Brody theorized, since we were boinking for thousands of years without Durex Pleasuremax.
There are lots of other theories, though. Maybe people who don’t use protection want to start families and are at an emotionally-ready and healthy place to begin with. Or, maybe unprotected sex, while more risky, just feels more intimate and that makes everybody happier! [Scotsman]
Keep reading »
This week I got a letter from a teeny bopper, who just can’t seem to “She Bop,” if you know what I mean. She wrote:
I’m 19, have never had a boyfriend, and am still a virgin. I’m not coming to you for relationship advice; the way I see it I don’t need a man right now. The thing is, as I’m sure you know, sex dominates culture. Just because I’ve never done it doesn’t mean I haven’t heard stories, and it’s made me pretty damn horny. I’m kind of curious about masturbation, but I feel like I’m just doing it wrong. Nothing seems to really get me there. Do you have advice for a beginner like me?
Well, honey, even a ho like me will tell you that there’s no rush to lose your virginity — especially if you’ haven’t orgasmed on your own first! Lettin’ some dude sock it to you before you know how to get off isn’t gonna do it for ya. No man is that good. You’ve got to take your O into your own hands! You’ve got to solve, or rather diddle, your own ecstasy riddle. So, all that work you’ve been doing feeling around down there, even if it hasn’t finished the job, is a good start! Now here’s how you can take yourself all the way home. Keep reading »