Oh, heeyyy. What’s that? TLC has a new amazing show coming down the pipelines? Oh, yes they do. The channel whose womb I want to crawl into, is bringing us “Plastic Wives,” a series about the wives of some of the most high profile surgeons in Beverly Hills.
“Underneath all that plastic are the wrinkles the cracks, the insecurities. We all try to cover it up, but we’re the Plastic Wives,” says cast member Dayna. She also refers to her vagina as “two soy hot dogs with a bad carpet.” I will be using that one in the future. Why soy? I can’t take the time to ponder that because really, Dayna’s soy dogs are nothing compared to Alana’s. She keeps hers in a small plastic jar. “This is my labia, I think she looks better in a jar than hanging down there,” she says.
Done and done. I’ll be watching the premiere on January 27th. The full preview after the jump. [TLC] Keep reading »
I’m taking a cue from Jodie Foster’s Golden Globes speech and outing myself: I’m a bikini waxer. I’ve been waxing regularly since 2001. But that doesn’t mean I’ve gotten used to it. I’m not going to pretend like it’s no biggie. After more than a decade, I still think it hurts like a motherfucker. I take Advil before I go and use numbing spray, but it’s still incredibly painful. And for the record, I will never stop praying for full bush to come back in style. The ’70s were the best! But there is some really, really good news about crotch waxing that makes all the pain worth it.
According to some new research, all of our effort (men and women both!) to remain hairless down there has put crabs on the endangered species list. That’s right! Pubic lice is on the verge of extinction. Keep reading »
By now, you’ve probably watched or at least, heard about Jodie Foster’s acceptance speech for the Cecil B. DeMille Award at last night’s Golden Globes. Today, the internet is a abuzz with reactions to her “coming out” speech. Foster dropped the declaration that we’ve all been waiting for:
“I’m just going to put it out there right, loud and proud … I am, uh, single … I hope you’re not disappointed that there won’t be a big coming out speech tonight. I already did my coming out about a thousand years ago back in the Stone Age. Those very quaint days when a fragile young girl would open up to trusted friends and family and co-workers, and then gradually and proudly to everyone who knew her, to everyone she actually met.”
Met, being the operative word, Foster went on to comment on the issue of privacy, joking that nowadays, celebrities are expected to honor the details of their private lives “with a press conference, a fragrance and a prime-time reality show.” Keep reading »
Leave it to Vice to attempt to make the merkin a high fashion accessory. Because, it’s not about what’s going on over your pants, it’s about what’s going on under them. Lounging around the house, flipping through a magazine is fun, especially when your vagina is growing a rainbow. Click through to see more from Vice’s “Merkin’ Around” fashion spread complete with where to buy the accessories that make a pubic wig pop. [Vice]
I’m a big fan of Slate’s “Explainer” column, which enlists experts to answer those questions that boggle the mind. Oh, how this appeals to my inner science geek. Like when they explained why the rich and famous sunbathe topless. The answer: Because they can. Ha! OK, back to the question that caught my attention: How did humans figure out that sex makes babies? Ooh, good one! An abridged version of the answer after the jump. Keep reading »
You know how the Victorian era was all fainting couches and chastity belts? Evidently, the Restoration era* was off the chain.
Per The Guardian, a book called Aristotle’s Compleat Master-Piece is now being brought to auction. While the book was originally published in an era best referred to as the Restoration, around 1680, the copy in question was produced somewhere in the neighborhood of 1760 in the so-called Georgian era.
Art, architecture and smut (fine, pornography and erotica) has coexisted since the first cave bro sketched a spear going from his crotch into a cave woman’s crotch rather than from his hand into a mastodon’s keister. Tell me that pyramids don’t remind you of early man trying to cover his turgidity with a gauzy linen sheet. Read more…