Legendary porn star Ron Jeremy is in the hospital after suffering a severe heart aneurysm.
Jeremy’s manager, Mike Esterman informs TMZ that the adult film actor is in critical condition. The 59-year-old is said to have experienced chest pain Tuesday afternoon and drove himself to Cedars-Sinai hospital, and is currently being prepped for surgery as his condition has worsened. He was transferred to ICU late Tuesday night. Read more…
Raymond Duesler of Gloversville, New York is facing sexual abuse charges for getting into a shower with a 16-year-old girl and throwing cheese at her. Of course, I know what your first question is — what kind of cheese? That detail has not been made available to the public. For some reason, I’m envisioning it being shredded cheese. Maybe cheddar. Nothing artisan. Not to make light of this abhorrent crime, I just got distracted by the cheese throwing.Why? It’s just so disgusting.
Sadly, this girl was not the only one violated by Duesler. The 55-year-old is accused of exposing his penis, showing porn to and requesting oral sex from three more underage girls. Thankfully, he is in jail awaiting trial. If there is any justice in the world, an inmate is throwing cheese at Duesler while he showers right this very minute. [CBS6 Albany]
We live in the sexiest time ever. For most of history, condoms were hollowed-out sheep guts, “getting lucky” meant not contracting a plague, and the more insane religions insisted that even masturbation was a sin (despite the fact that jerking off is the literal fucking definition of “enjoying yourself without bothering anyone else”). Any god against that is both a voyeur and a killjoy.
Thanks to the Internet, the average modern teenager has seen more nudity than an orgiastic Roman emperor with X-ray vision. We’ve realized that human genitals are like LEGO: lots of fun to put together, and if you get bored with all the possible combinations, you can buy extra bits to connect. But this ability to screw absolutely everything has spilled over into, well, absolutely everything. For example: The ’80s aren’t just nostalgia, they’re subconscious urges that have been stewing in hormones for 30 years.
Sex has leaked into science fiction. And just like science fiction warned us, the real madness begins when this stuff escapes into the real world. Read more…
It looks Justin Bieber is adapting to single life quite nicely. This week, he got to second base with a fan at a Florida meet-and-greet. Or maybe he was just squeezing her boob to help prevent breast cancer. How gentlemanly of him! Either way, the girl appears to be enjoying it very much. I hope Selena Gomez was out grabbing a penis somewhere. [ONTD]
Click through for more celebs getting felt up.
You think you’ve heard of every kind of crime there is and then a woman tries to assassinate her husband with her vagina. According to the UK’s Mirror, a Brazilian woman, whose name is being withheld, is accused of putting a toxic plant substance on her hoo-ha and asking her husband to give her oral sex. According to reports, his life was spared because he noticed a “strange smell” emanating from down there and took his wife to the hospital to get to the bottom of her unusual odor. The tests, of course, revealed that her vagina was poisonous. Is it possible to poison your vagina without poisoning yourself? I’m getting hung up on that. Details and logistics aside, WTF, world? [Mirror UK]
How was your first time? I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess it was quick/awkward/unmemorable/unfulfilling like it was for most of us. I’m not going to go into too much detail, but I will tell you that, in my case, there was a cat in the bed with us that I had a severe allergic reaction to, which in turn gave my boyfriend a panic attack. So, yeah. It was romantical. Too bad for me — and too bad for all of us, really. A new study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy found that the circumstances of losing your virginity may set the tone for the rest of your sexual life. Keep reading »