As a child of pop culture, it should come as no little surprise that most of my psyche was formed by various cartoon and film studios and is tragically underequipped to manage real life, even to this day, which is why you can only find me on the Internet, as I tend to shun the sun like some kind of eyeless deep-cave newt.
While you can easily rely on film to teach you how to deal with everyday situations like terrorism, dinosaurs and hangovers, the sad truth is that the formation of one’s sexual identity is probably something best not placed in the hands of Bruce Willis or National Lampoon. I mean, I think.
As it happens, my sexual awakening was a slow, shameful thing spurred by a handful of pop culture icons that, for one reason or another, stirred something vaguely confusing deep inside me, and will now be used to stir something vaguely off-putting in all of you. Read more…
“What weirded me out the most last night was people were asking me all these questions about the gay sex scenes. I was like, ‘You know I did ‘Equus?’ … Some people are asking me questions like this is a more shocking subject, which is so strange … It’s interesting that it’s deemed shocking. For me, there’s something very strange about that because we see straight sex scenes all the time. We’ve seen gay sex scenes before. I don’t know why a gay sex scene should be any more shocking than a straight sex scene. Or both of them are equally un-shocking.”
–Daniel Radcliffe on being asked repeatedly about his gay sex scene in the Sundance film, “Kill Your Darlings,” where he plays poet Allen Ginsburg. I couldn’t have said it better myself. He’s right. It’s ridiculous. I don’t think any kind of on-screen sex scene is taboo at this point. I appreciate what a devoted ally Radcliffe is and I’m looking forward to seeing the film. [Celebitchy]
According to a “source” at The Sun, Gwyneth Paltrow has taken on the role of “life coach” for Cameron Diaz.
”Gwyneth’s sorted out everything from finances to hooking her up with her trainer. She has also forced her to swear off sex for a year, saying men distract her focus … ‘Gwyneth is a nurturer. Cameron is bummed about being single, so Gwyneth sees her as a project. She’s trying to set her up with guys!”
I know, I know, this probably isn’t true, but I died laughing imagining Gwyneth advising Cameron to stay celibate for a year. Awful advice. Unless, of course, that’s what Cameron wants. Personally, I’d want to kill a smug married friend who thought of me as her single “project” and instructed me not to have sex for a year. But that’s just me. [ONTD]
Here is a confession: I am a dude, and sometimes I don’t want to have sex. For good reasons, or no reasons at all. It just depends.
I know that’s not actually shocking, but bear with me here, because that is somehow still a radical thing to admit. It’s still the default assumption about men, still casually reinforced basically every day. And women explicitly get told that it’s true, by men, even when they’re asked directly. Here’s just one recent example, from Cosmopolitan‘s “Ask Him Anything” column, in response to a question about why a woman’s husband wants to do it the moment they check into a hotel room anywhere: “Guys pretty much want sex no matter where they go – work, the mall, funerals, etc,” the “Him” who writes the column says, before explaining that a hotel room is just a part of that endless chain. Keep reading »
I didn’t physically prepare for my first orgy. My husband and I talked about boundaries and asked the friends who invited us about party etiquette. But I didn’t put much thought into what I looked like because I wasn’t planning to do a whole lot. I wanted to meet people, maybe kiss and fondle a few, and generally take in the experience as an observer in order to judge whether a second orgy was in my future. So I planned for comfort rather than beauty. I wore attractive but conservative clothing. My bra was snazzy, but my underwear was generic. And I didn’t even consider trimming my pubic hair.
I’ve never shaved my pubic hair. When I was a teenager, I read “The Vagina Monologues,” which features the harrowing account of a woman whose ex-husband shaved her bush without her enthusiastic consent. I decided right then that I never wanted to shave down there. The occasional hygienic trim, sure, but I’d never shave or wax or remove it in full. Pubic hair serves a purpose, and I like having it. (Plus, don’t let my kinkiness fool you – I hate pain. I don’t even tweeze my eyebrows because it hurts. So the thought of a bikini wax makes my toes curl, and not in an orgasmic way.) Keep reading »
Maybe this is an odd thing to say, but I find comfort in the fact that any bizzaro idea you can dream up already has an accompanying paraphilia or SubReddit page. It makes me feel a little less alone in the world. A friend of mine told me about the wet and messy shoe fetish for people who get aroused watching women walking in water or mud while wearing high heels. I’m not here to judge, or even try to understand, just to report my findings. If you have some free time you’re looking to waste, WetHighHeels.com has plenty more footage where this treasure came from.