This year did not disappoint when it came to sex headlines. In 2012, I learned a lot of new and important (I’m not sure if “important” is quite the right word, but I’m going with it) lessons. I’m still trying to make sense of it all, but let’s review what I’ve absorbed thus far. There was just so much…
We’re sure none of our esteemed readers would ever use Google’s wholesome Image Search to find filthy pictures of naked people committing depraved acts. But on the off chance that you do, you might notice that it’s a little harder to find what you’re looking for. Google yesterday implemented a change in its SafeSearch settings that some users are complaining is filtering out porn. “What is this? communism?! BRING BACK THE PORN!” one Reddit user complained yesterday. Read more…
A New York City woman is suing a “major Republican fundraiser” after he gave her herpes. What a catch! Not only did he give big bucks to Mitt Romney, but he refused to wear a condom or inform her he had an STD. The New York Daily News reports they dated for two years until she found out that he was allegedly cheating on her and knew that he had contracted the STD. Now this poor woman has herpes for the rest of her life. Keep reading »
We’ve had lots of boyfriends who we’ve had to remind to wash their hands before they put them anywhere near our vaginas. Don’t they know that dirty paws cause yeast and bacterial infections, or, on the off chance that he’s been chopping jalepenos, a fucking wildfire down there? These are the kinds of thing that people with penises don’t seem to understand. They think we’re molly coddling our coochies, being precious about our privates, but vadges really are temperamental.
Because of germs and jalepenos and general man hand dirtiness, we humbly request that the Invention Gods create a biometric hand sanitizer so boys could scan their hands and be germ/jalepeno/whatever-free within seconds. How much more fun would that make sex? A lot more, we think.
Click onward for some more sexventions that we think would revolutionize our sex lives.
Yesterday on Howard Stern, Nick Cannon admitted that he and Mariah “absolutely” make love to her music and that he masturbates to it when she’s not there. But wait! There’s more TMI. His favorite spank song is “Hero.” That song will never sound the same again. Let’s all spend an uncomfortable moment listening to it together and imagining the worst after the jump. I don’t know whether I think this is sweet or gross. [TMZ] Keep reading »