Really, the best thing about Reddit’s “I Was A Dildo Engineer” Ask Me Anything were the comment threads. Sure, it was interesting to learn that dildo engineers are highly educated, well-paid and ethical. It makes you feel confident about what you’re putting in your vagina. Even if the people designing your sex toys are all men. That was an interesting tidbit: that everyone on the dildo engineer’s team was a dude. Also, it was helpful to find out that if you take the middle battery out of bullet, it lasts longer. But the comedy. OH, THE COMEDY. After the jump, the funniest threads. Keep reading »
I’ve been really intrigued by James Deen ever since that New York Times Magazine profile about “The Canyons” came out. I loved the detail that he is the Jewish son of rocket scientists. Stephen Roderick painted Deen as this sensitive loner genius who just so happens to have applied his brilliance to the porn world. After seeing a new episode Woodrocket.com’s web series “Memes I’d Like To F**k,” I’m convinced that he really is one.. In the episode, Deen, dressed as the IKEA monkey, stares out a window. That’s it. Brilliant. [Laughing Squid]
Legendary porn star Ron Jeremy is in the hospital after suffering a severe heart aneurysm.
Jeremy’s manager, Mike Esterman informs TMZ that the adult film actor is in critical condition. The 59-year-old is said to have experienced chest pain Tuesday afternoon and drove himself to Cedars-Sinai hospital, and is currently being prepped for surgery as his condition has worsened. He was transferred to ICU late Tuesday night. Read more…
Raymond Duesler of Gloversville, New York is facing sexual abuse charges for getting into a shower with a 16-year-old girl and throwing cheese at her. Of course, I know what your first question is — what kind of cheese? That detail has not been made available to the public. For some reason, I’m envisioning it being shredded cheese. Maybe cheddar. Nothing artisan. Not to make light of this abhorrent crime, I just got distracted by the cheese throwing.Why? It’s just so disgusting.
Sadly, this girl was not the only one violated by Duesler. The 55-year-old is accused of exposing his penis, showing porn to and requesting oral sex from three more underage girls. Thankfully, he is in jail awaiting trial. If there is any justice in the world, an inmate is throwing cheese at Duesler while he showers right this very minute. [CBS6 Albany]
We live in the sexiest time ever. For most of history, condoms were hollowed-out sheep guts, “getting lucky” meant not contracting a plague, and the more insane religions insisted that even masturbation was a sin (despite the fact that jerking off is the literal fucking definition of “enjoying yourself without bothering anyone else”). Any god against that is both a voyeur and a killjoy.
Thanks to the Internet, the average modern teenager has seen more nudity than an orgiastic Roman emperor with X-ray vision. We’ve realized that human genitals are like LEGO: lots of fun to put together, and if you get bored with all the possible combinations, you can buy extra bits to connect. But this ability to screw absolutely everything has spilled over into, well, absolutely everything. For example: The ’80s aren’t just nostalgia, they’re subconscious urges that have been stewing in hormones for 30 years.
Sex has leaked into science fiction. And just like science fiction warned us, the real madness begins when this stuff escapes into the real world. Read more…