• Sex

Jena Malone A Stripper For Dirty Vegas In “Electric Love”

Jena Malone is one of those actresses I love but feel I never see enough of. Here, the “Donnie Darko” and “Into the Wild” star plays a stripper in a music video for Dirty Vegas’ “Electric Love.” The story line isn’t altogether clear (are they ever?), but one man seems to find Malone the object of his strange desire, whether she’s a stripper working the pole or a cowgirl doing the two-step. Note to guys: What this dude does to himself at the end, you really, really shouldn’t try at home. Keep reading »

“The Simpsons” Gets The Porn Treatment


One time, I was dating this guy, and I said something smarty-pants, and he was like, “Susannah, for you, nothing is sacred.” And I was like, “Uh, yeah?” This porn spoof of “The Simpsons” brings the sentiment to mind. To see something like the Simpsons family turned into porno circus freaks has traumatized my brain, and I am not sure I will ever recover. I surmise the premise is Homer is making a porno, and every one makes an appearance. Everyone who is also yellow-green. I feel ill. Help me. [Boing Boing] Keep reading »

Cocks On Locks: The Chastity Belt For Men

There were a lot of new toys at the Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas last week, but one in particular seemed extra freaky: the new C-B6000 chastity belt for men. While its name implies some kind of futurist technology, the concept is sort of a medieval torture device for boners. Marketed with “A Married Woman’s Guide to a Happier Relationship,” the makers suggest women can take charge of their sex lives with a dick lockdown that’ll prevent their man from masturbating. Ha! Ain’t nothin’ gonna stop a boner— well, except maybe the woman who purchases this contraption. Gasp at all the crazy (and sort of NSFW) model options, after the jump! [BuzzFeed] Keep reading »

The Push-Up Bra For Dudes

Want your peen to look two inches bigger? No, this is not spam from a third world pyramid scheme promising to enlarge your manhood. Designer and reality TV show whore Andrew Christian has invented underpants with a padded cup bulge built into each pair. And it’s surprisingly life-like and, get this, uncircumcised! Basically, the Shock Jock Flirt Brief is like a wonderbra for johnsons. How do you like it when the tables are turned on you, ladies? [Refinery 29] Keep reading »

Would You Watch … Food Truck Porn?

In the city where I live, food trucks are a big, big thing. From burritos to cupcakes, high-end to low-rent, food from airstream trailers and fly-by-night stands is all the rage. So what is the inevitable conclusion of anything that’s popular? Why, porn, of course. Ergo, one adult video production company is releasing: “The Flying Pink Pig.” It’s an x-rated movie. About food trucks. Apparently, the porn company went ahead and lifted (?) the image of the real Flying Pig food truck in Los Angeles for their box cover. Or, heck, maybe they worked with the Flying Pig to make their movie. (I am dubious.) Regardless, if you’re totally into food trucks, porn, food porn, Ron Jeremy, and “fun loving, sex-crazed nymphomaniacs serving recipes guaranteed to make the customer [come] again and again and again,” you will love this movie. [Gawker] Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I’m A Bottom

I was at a party a few years ago, where Mikey, one of my gay best friends, and I were having one of our heart-to-hearts. “Devon and I broke up,” he announced.

“What, why!? You seemed so perfect together,” I gasped.

“Eh, we were both tops,” he sighed. Keep reading »

23 Weapons Every Sexy Woman Needs In Her Arsenal

Being a sexy lady isn’t just fun; it’s empowering. There’s nothing quite like making a man weak in the knees when you walk through the door. But like anything thrilling, it takes some adventurous accoutrements to be a vixen. After the jump, find out everything you’ll ever need to be va-va-va-voom! Keep reading »

In Praise Of Angry Sex

Mostly, I’m a girl who mopes when she’s upset. I’m not intending to be passive-aggressive: I simply turn inwards when I feel disappointed, sad or hurt. Like many women, none of those feelings leave room for me to feel at all sexual. I simply cannot compartmentalize myself like that. Up until recently, I would have added “angry” to the list of adjectives that are a personal boner killer. And then I had angry sex and realized, “This. Is. Awesome.” Keep reading »

Why Do Dudes Like Being Woken Up With A BJ?

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a man likes being woken up to a BJ. It’s like friggin’ Christmas morning, any day of the year. But us ladies? Not so much. Feel free to correct me if you feel otherwise, but there’s something creepy and invasive about the idea of waking up with someone’s mouth or sex organ around our lady bits. In fact, if the Wikileaks/Julian Assange nonsense has taught us anything (and please, I hope it has taught us something), it is that initiating sex with a woman while she is asleep is sexual assault. Obviously, if she is asleep, she cannot consent. But beyond the legal definition of sexual assault, a half-awakened lady may not be so willing to receive a special morning “surprise” of something she otherwise normally likes. Speaking strictly for myself, I need to be “warmed up” before a guy goes spelunking down there. Keep reading »

My Guy Likes Hairy Women

Dear Dating Mom:

I am dating a guy who loves a hairy woman. He likes hair on legs, underarms, and the vagina. My problem is that I am the total opposite. I have been removing hair on my body since the age of 12 and I really don’t think that I will feel sexy looking like King Kong.

Confused Kuntry Girl

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