Makeup artist Melissa Murphy’s series of mesmerizing side-by-side photos documenting the transformation of bare-faced everygirls into bombshell porn stars stood out as fascinating for a few reasons — namely, the social commentary aspect, in which we’re forced to question everything we think we know about what porn stars are “supposed” to look like. But the photos also elicited reactions that had less to do with the profession itself (and, with it, our preconceived notions of female physical attractiveness) and more to do with Melissa … as in, how the hell does she do it? Keep reading »
I didn’t think I was ashamed of the number of sexual partners I’ve had in the 20 years I’ve been getting it on until I found myself filling in a number half the true total at a recent gynecologist appointment. Although I know doctors are trained not to judge, and this doctor in particular had been particularly kind, helpful and professional when I’d seen her previously, in my head, all of a sudden the number (at best an approximation as I haven’t kept an exact count in year) seemed like cause for alarm. Even if I never had to say it out loud and its size was simply one more piece of data for her to use in evaluating me, something about it made me erase what I’d typed in the online form and halve it. As it turned out, she didn’t even ask me a single thing about my number, so that fretting was for naught—except that it taught me a lesson: slut shaming isn’t just something other people do to us, but something we can do to ourselves. Keep reading »
This handy Sex Degrees of Separation calculator will provide you with an estimate of how many indirect sexual partners you’ve had. Just in case you’re not already terrified enough of STIs, this should help. I don’t need any help with that, but thanks anyway. I saw “Kids” in 1995. This is a moment when it would come in handy to have a detailed sex list. Calculate at your own risk. [Lloyd’s Pharmacy]
My article Top 5 Mistakes Men Make in Bed received a lot of attention. Most of the comments (or complaints) came from men. Some men found the article helpful, others reacted defensively and some men were simply hostile and rude.
But the most common comment came in the form of “What about the women?” A lot of men felt picked on and asked that I give equal time to men’s complaints about women. Fair enough. So, I did an informal query among a handful of men to learn the top five mistakes women make in bed and the results are below. But, before I give you the list, I have a few disclaimers.
First, please note I am a woman and not a man. I therefore went to men for their input. This list represents the most common complaints made and does not represent every man’s experience nor is this list the result of a sound empirical research study. Second, as with my first article, the information is offered with the intent to stimulate communication between partners, not to create any shame, wrong-doing or blame. Our sexuality is complex. And just as any relationship requires on-going inquiry, communication, negotiation and attention, so does your intimate sexual relationship. Read more …