I am presently married, but before I reached this impressively adult position, however, I had my way with a series of gentleman across the fair island of Manhattan. I was a little late to the online dating game, and once I discovered it, look out! I had a date more than half the nights of the week. And, if I’m being honest, I slept with a decent number of them. What can I say? I’m a fan of the one-night stand.
One night stands, I think, are like that very, very rich piece of cheesecake: Delicious and a total treat, but if you had it every day, you’d be like, “Oh my god. I’m disgusting. I feel gross. I hate myself.” They’re not for every day, but they’re for sometimes. The key is in the approach. You need to practice moderation. You need to find the right guy with whom to do it. And the right guy is simple. He is someone you’re very attracted to and with whom you have zero interest in a relationship.
Now that I’ve laid the criteria for the gentleman with whom you want to have a one night stand, let me work to convince you further as to why you should indulge … Keep reading »
OOOOMMMMMMMGGGGGG can I marry Sara X. Beyond the fact that her boobs are fabulously talented, it’s the facial expressions in this video that get me. It’s too cute. I just can’t even. Sara X’s face and boobs are bringing the holiday cheer hardcore in this video. I am at a loss for words. Merry Boobmas, everyone. [h/t Jezebel]
Is there anything more visceral than the words “hate” and “fuck?” Each triggers a distinct primitive heat that arises in the chest (well, perhaps in the groin for “fuck”). Without even having the word defined or a personal experience with hate fucking, the two words together almost immediately produce a visual that makes its meaning very clear. Hate fucking is expressing hate or anger towards another person through the act of sex. It titillates that odd part of the human brain where the infliction of pleasure and pain meet, though the act of hate-fucking isn’t necessarily so seedy or scary. One can hate fuck in a variety of contexts, the ugliest being quite literally, fucking someone you hate, or using sex to get out anger and aggression. As a partner once viciously put it: “I want to put my hate inside you.” HOT. Keep reading »
So, there’s a “Hunger Games” porn parody. It’s called “The Humper Games,” and it stars Kantmiss Everyween and Puta Mallarky, with special appearances, of course, from Effyou, who’s described by the President (no punny name, unfortch) as looking like “Mary Poppins just ate out a menstruating unicorn,” and Pleaser Fuckerman (I feel like that was a stretch).
I know this, because I watched it. WHAT. LIKE YOU’RE NOT GOING TO. Keep reading »
I am by no means a prude, but I’m more than happy to admit that reading sex scenes in fiction (or nonfiction, for that matter) skeeves me out a little. OK, a lot. I’m more on the “exhibitionist” end of the spectrum than the “voyeur” end, I guess.
Anyway, if you’re like me, get ready to cringe at the passage that won Ben Okri’s The Age of Magic the annual Bad Sex in Fiction Award from Britain’s Literary Review: Keep reading »
Art has never imitated life so disgustingly.
One of the biggest pornography companies in the world has launched a webseries called Border Patrol Sex that features American border patrol agents catching undocumented Mexican and Central American immigrant women attempting to cross the border, arresting them, handcuffing them, raping them, and then sending them back to Mexico. Keep reading »