My mother and many of her second-wave feminist peers view pornography as an institutional ill that is degrading to women and damaging to developing sexuality. She believes that the camera-ready angles, waxed and plastic body parts and pervasive depiction of extreme acts as “normal” distort human sexuality and give young porn-viewers a whole bunch of false and dangerous expectations.
My mom is a smart lady, and she’s not wrong. While I agree that some porn (okay, most of it) fits the bill she describes as damaging, I don’t find the filming and viewing of sex acts as objectively offensive. In other words, I think that porn is not inherently problematic, but its content often includes problematic ideas and attitudes. I also believe when viewed as entertainment, porn can be a positive element in the repertoire of adult sexuality, Keep reading »
I’m assuming this only works on people who can’t chew gum and jerk off at the same time. [The Clearly Dope] Keep reading »
I’d had sex in cars, on floors, in the green grass. I’d had kinky sex, vanilla sex, drunk sex and stoned sex. I’d had sex with near strangers. I’d had sex with men I deeply loved. I’d had double-digit lovers in total. But I’d had never had sex in one of the most common configurations known to heterosexual copulators: the position known as “doggy style.”
It was the number one sexual position of my fantasies, which, admittedly, did not always include penetrative sex. But when they did, it was always from behind. Keep reading »
The other day, I was talking to one of my lesbian friends about the difference between gay and straight relationships. “Being a straight woman, who may want to get married someday, means I have to entertain the notion of having a nonmonogamous marriage,” I argued.
“Why?” she challenged me. (I get this reaction a lot. Especially from women, gay or straight, who tend to get defensive when I say something to this effect.)
“Not to consider it would mean I’m in denial,” I replied. Keep reading »
Holhoi tattea shots are all the rage at the Green Man Pub in New Zealand. For a mere $25 per shot glass, ladies are coming in droves to throw them back like champs. So what is holhoi tattea you ask? Oh, it’s just apple-flavored horse semen which supposedly tastes a little bit “like custard.” (Hold on. I have to vomit real quick. OK I’m back.) If you are chomping at the bit to try a shot of holhoi tattea, you’d better giddy up. The special semen shots are only available until Sunday as part of a Wild Food Challenge. Yeah, that’s wild alright. File this under things that too closely resemble bestiality. [Oddity Central] Keep reading »
I read Eliza Jules’ essay “I Obsessively Monitor My Husband’s Lube Bottle” over at xoJane and was left with this question: Is a partner’s masturbation something we should worry about? The more I’ve thought about it, though, the more I’ve concluded that, for me, I’m at the very opposite end of the spectrum as Jules; I’d be worried if someone I was dating didn’t masturbate, all the more so if I was the cause behind them holding off in the self-love department. I also wouldn’t expect someone’s firmly entrenched patterns of masturbation and porn use, especially if I met them well into their adult life, to change just because they were with me.
I’ll even go so far as to say I would definitely not want to be the sole source of my partner’s masturbation fodder. Part of it? Sure. But imagine the pressure if every single time they jerked off, they were thinking about you. That would creep me out a bit, and while I’m not an expert, I don’t think that’s a realistic goal, especially when you’re talking about long-term relationships. Keep reading »
Something no one tells you about sex? A good romp in the sack can be dangerous. No, I’m not talking about potentially deadly sexually transmitted diseases and infections, like HIV. (Although those are dangerous too, obviously.) I’m talking about the rug burn, pulled hair, and the overzealous nipple bite (ow!) that every woman needs to watch out for. And no, a hickey doesn’t count as an “injury.” Keep reading »
A new sex survey conveniently sponsored by Trojan found that people in Los Angeles are getting busy more often than the rest of us. According to the survey, Angelinos do it about 135 times a year, while the rest of us poor cads only get laid about 120 times a year. They also scored the highest in sexual adventurousness. I’m not impressed. We all would be more sexually adventurous if it was 75 degrees and sunny every day where we lived. Anyhow, don’t be too jealous of those highly sexed Angelinos. They were found to be the biggest fakers — of orgasms that is. Sigh. Actors. And their satisfaction level was not ranked number one. That prize goes to the people of Philly, who were found to do it less often, but enjoy it more. It’s quality, not quantity, right? Ring that Liberty Bell! [LA Times] Keep reading »