Thanks to the new book, Stuck Up! 100 Objects Inserted And Ingested In Places They Shouldn’t Be, we now know that a Buzz Lightyear action figure should not go exploring inside an anus. Wait, I thought we already knew that? How did Buzz get up in there — feet first! — anyway? Forget it, I don’t want to know. I just want to gawk. This funny/weird/disturbing collection of X-rays of things that don’t belong in the human body will make you think twice before putting an iPhone in your vagina or a pair of bronzed baby shoes up your ass. [TMZ]
Researchers at Rutgers University used brain scan technology to find out exactly what’s going on when women orgasm. A whole lot, apparently. Scientists monitored 80 separate regions of the brain to measure the oxygen levels as a woman approaches climax (red is the lowest and yellow/white is the highest). As you can see, when we’re getting off, all the areas of the brain (including our emotional, sensory, and pleasure centers) bloom like crazy neon flowers. “It’s really a symphony of physiological responses,” said the lead researcher. Indeed, it is. [Healthzone]
Football player Chad Ochocinco outraged people WHO TYPE ANGRILY IN ALL CAPS this morning when he tweeted a little joke about the pull-out method. No, pulling out is not safe sex, but I don’t take my sex advice from people who’ve competed on “Dancing With The Stars,” anyway. [Twitter]
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I learn something new everyday. For instance, did you know that Cameron Diaz once filmed a porn? Not a homemade sex tape, mind you, but a legit soft-core smut video. Cameron was 19 and after she hit the big time, she worked her fanny off trying to cover up her porno past, but, alas, the video hit the internet anyway. It features Cameron in one of those ridiculous breast-exposing body suits, making her nipples harder with some sort of aerosol contraption (I am unfamiliar with these sorts of on-set porn techniques), and then yanking a shirtless guy in chains. It’s ridiculously early-’90s. You can watch it above, but warning, it is NSFW on account of the nipples and the stupid bondage scenarios.
For the record, I don’t make a habit of hanging out with men who “manipulate their privates,” as Archeology Daily so eloquently puts it. But a new study shows that this cringe-inducing practice goes all the way back to prehistoric Europe. Analyses of phalluses in Paleolithic art show evidence of ornamental surgery performed on penises. Javier Angulo, the lead author of the study and the chair of the Department of Urology at Spain’s Hospital Universitario de Getafe, confirms that “modern primitives modified [their] genitals with the use of tattooing, perforations, and cuttings to change their appearances.” Yowch. Hey, fellas, who’s going to bring back decorative penis cutting? I’m thinking this could be a trend in 2012. Anyone? [Archeology Daily]
Just found this little gem and thought I’d share. On a recent-ish episode of “In The Bedroom With Dr. Laura,” sexually dissatisfied wife Becky opens up about about her unusual self-pleasuring technique. She likes to hump the corner of her laundry basket to climax — she’s been masturbating this way since college. Fascinating! I am still trying to unpack the logistics of this hump session, but hey, to each her own! Becky’s dependence on her hamper has gotten so out of control that she prefers grinding the basket to grinding her husband Steve’s really “large” penis. The worst part of the whole segment is that Steve silently stands by while Becky tells Dr. Laura what a wimp he is in the sack. Poor guy. Talk about being completely emasculated. But then again, there’s no denying that clean laundry is sexy as hell. Unfortunately, I can’t share the clip, but you can watch it here. [Oprah]
We all know the stereotype — men want sex and they want it now. And now. And now. Except when they … well, don’t. And when that happens, it’s confusing. And frustrating. And even hurtful. We ask ourselves: Why won’t my husband have sex with me? What’s going on with him?
Okay, ladies, it’s important to remember that just because the stereotype is that all men want to have sex all of the time doesn’t mean it’s true. Just like all blonde women aren’t stupid, not all men are sexually motivated creatures. And for your man, having a low libido may be the cause of shame, confusion, and embarrassment.
Here are the top reasons men do not want to have sex. Read more…
The Justin Bieber paternity lawsuit scandal was one of those things I didn’t actually care about, but I knew all the sordid details because I work at The Frisky. So I’ve had time to develop somewhat strong opinions on the Biebs and his allegedly roving peen. From the get-go, I felt convinced that the alleged baby mama Mariah Yeater, age 20, who dismissed the lawsuit last week, made the whole thing up. How did I come to this conclusion? First of all, she claimed her ex-boyfriend was the father of the baby just last year and call me crazy, but her former lover seems like the more plausible impregnator in this scenario. Second of all, Mariah claimed that Justin lost his virginity to her in a bathroom at L.A.’s Staples Center after a concert. Yes, he is a 17-year-old boy, a demographic generally devoid of any seduction tactics whatsoever. But even losing his V-card in a toilet stall seemed too … crass? … to be believable. Keep reading »
Everything is better with bacon, even your sex life. Now you can get all greased up like a wild carnival hog while porking with BaconLube. Yes, it’s what it sounds like. Originally invented as an April Fool’s joke, bacon trailblazers J & D foods (of Baconnaise and BaconSalt fame) decided to make bacon-flavored lube a reality. Why? Because apparently, people out there in the world are really turned on by pork. Oh, hogwash. That’s just gross. [Huffington Post]