When the Frat Boy I had my eye on invited me over under the guise of “hanging out,” eating pizza, and watching a scary movie, I arrived with hairy legs to ensure my pants stayed on.
Within minutes, the lights dimmed, the movie started, and so did the shoulder massage, which quickly evolved into neck nibbling and kissing. Admittedly, he was a fantastic kisser, with soft lips that tasted like cherries (literally – I later checked his medicine cabinet and found a tube of Cherry Chapstick).
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It was the toot heard ’round the television: Nancy Grace let one rip on “Dancing With The Stars” and she’s been trying to live down the mockery ever since. It is not all public humiliation, though Nancy has attracted the attention of a little known fetish website of “flatulophiliacs,” aka “fart fanatics.” We had no idea fart fetishists existed. Jo Merlone, marketing director for the web site Clips4Sale.com, penned a letter to “Dancing With The Stars” requesting the rights for three seconds of footage of Nancy’s famed fart. “In case you weren’t aware,” Jo Merlone implored, “this is a very popular niche online and we know just how many of Nancy’s fans would love to relieve the moment in the privacy of their own homes via our web site. Passing gas is as natural as breathing and our members are waiting with baited breath.” Oh my. Don’t keep the fart fetishists waiting, ABC — that would just be cruel. [BuzzFeed]
Flatulophilia isn’t the only fetish that caught us off guard — after the jump, here’s 10 more crazy sexual practices that came as a surprise.
The previews for the Anna Faris vehicle “What’s Your Number?” couldn’t make me want to see that movie any less if they added “Exorcist”-style projectile vomiting. The premise, if you have magically managed to miss the media blitz, is that Faris’ character realizes her list of sexual partners has one more digit than most of her friends’. She spirals into a panic attack induced by slut-shaming and spends the rest of the movie trying not to add a new guy to the list. It’s supposed to be funny, but I can’t work up more of a response than a frustrated eye-roll and a long, exasperated sigh.
Here’s the thing about counting sexual partners: context matters. A number is just a number. It gives no background on the who, what, when, where, and why. If we want to judge people’s sexual activity (which I’m not convinced we do), the qualitative matters so much more than the quantitative. Keep reading »
We’re relieved that beer-flavored vagi-wipes don’t actually exist. Beergina is not something we aspire to. However, there are other real sexy products on the market that leave us, uh, guffawing. Click through to see some of the most ridiculous sex aids money can buy.
Celebrity sex tapes are so common, we barely even bat an eyelash at our favorite stars getting down on film. Once you’ve seen Eric Dane, Rebecca Gayheart, and Kari Anne Peniche sitting in a jacuzzi together, you’ve seen them all. But things are a little different if a celebrity has passed on. Are you sitting down? A 1991 video of Tupac receiving oral at a house party full of groupies is about to hit the market. Allegedly he is also rapping along to his own music, dancing, drinking a cocktail, smoking a blunt, and holding down a convo with the dude from Digital Underground all while getting blown. Please, try not to get too excited. [TMZ]
Click through to see some posthumous celebrity sex tapes that supposedly exist.
In my nightmares, this is what the future of mankind looks like. Like, 347 years from now, the aliens are going to come and turn us all into cyborgs and force us to act out our archaic sexual practices in museums. (This is actually a window display at a Russian department store. I have no idea what it’s selling.) [Copyranter]
“Fat sex, skinny sex, if you love the way you look and you love your body, then it doesn’t matter the sex is gonna be good. Because I’ve seen celebrities that have sex tapes and they are skinny and they are boring as hell. I got a girlfriend pushing 250 and she is a good time … You can get freaky at any size and it can be good.”
–Sherri Shepherd, the anti-Kirstie Alley, on why weight doesn’t matter if you have a positive body image. Alley had previously made a comment that she wanted to slim down because she hated having “fat sex.”
Is KFC branching out into prophylactics? No, although that would be, um, interesting. This here rubber is just one of the many mock-ups of corporate-sponsored condoms on the kickass Tumblr blog, New Condoms. I’m partial to the M&M’s condom myself! Though I don’t know how dudes will feel about a condom that suggests “It melts in your mouth, not in your hands.” Melt is usually one of those verbs that shouldn’t be used to reference the peen. [NewCondoms.Tumblr.com] Keep reading »
Let’s talk about nipples — specifically celebrity nipples freeing themselves from the confines of celebrity wardrobes. It happens all time! Usually we ogle and move on but sometimes unfortunate combinations of wardrobe, setting, and nipple make us want to wash our eyes out with bleach. When Nancy Grace’s nip made a guest appearance on “Dancing With the Stars,” we saw it … but we wish we hadn’t. “When we were doing our hopscotch portion of our dance, there was a little bit of movement but it did not rise to a wardrobe malfunction,” she told Entertainment Weekly. Sorry, Nancy, there was full nip exposure. The truth hurts. But it’s better than denial. Click through to see some celeb nip slips that made us feel uncomfie. [NY Post] Keep reading »
“On Tuesdays before elimination, Hank would come over to the set and bring a bottle of wine, and we would have sex in the trailer before the results show. Whenever you saw me smiling on camera on Tuesdays, it’s because I just had sex.”
—Kendra Wilkinson writes in her new memoir, Being Kendra, about how she kept her spirits up for “Dancing With The Stars” elimination shows. Hope this year’s contestants are listening. [PopBytes]
Apparently, Kendra and her husband Hank Baskett are into having sex just about anywhere but the bedroom. More after the jump. Keep reading »