Valentina, Brazil’s first life-like sex doll, is being called the world’s finest Real Doll with her “green eyes, fleshy lips, full breasts and a body that inspires envy in all women.”
God, I feel solo jealous right now of this SEX DOLL that I can barely finish writing this. Deep breath.
In conjunction with Valentina’s debut at Sao Paulo’s International Exhibition of Inflatable Dolls, online sex shop Sexônico is taking a cue from women like Catarina Migliorini and is auctioning Valentina’s virginity. The highest bidder will not only get to deflower Valentina, but will also win a prize package that includes a night with her in the Presidential Suite at the Swing Motel in Sao Paulo, a candlelight dinner with French champagne, and an aromatic bath with rose petals. Keep reading »
Your annual visit to the lady doctor isn’t necessarily the most pleasant way to spend an afternoon. Between the poking, prodding and your casual evasion of pointed questions like “How many drinks do you have a week?”, going to the the gynecologist is a necessary but not entirely awesome experience. I usually leave the gynecologist with a list of unanswered questions, and I always resolve this situation by taking to Google with a glass of wine, self-diagnosing through the mess of Yahoo! Answers forums and WebMD. It goes without saying that this never really works out for the best. This time, we’ve decided to do the work for you! We consulted the best of the best on the Internet to come up with answers to all those burning questions that feel a little too personal to ask your doctor. Keep reading »
In the days before the Internet, teenagers had basically two options to learn the ins and outs of boning. They amounted to either A) scrambled cable softcore, which was like watching two swarms of bees fighting in a motel room made of non-Euclidean geometry, or B) chancing upon a drifter’s cache of Juggs secreted away in the woods behind the neighborhood liquor store.
Nowadays, young folks don’t have to hazard a vagrant named “Clawhammer Jack” double-fisting bottles of cooking sherry to learn coital choreography. (Spoiled rotten, they are.) No, they can just turn to Wikipedia, that website known throughout the land for drowning the Encyclopedia Britannica factory in unwanted knowledge and tears. Read more…
I read the Malleus Maleficarum in college in my Performativity of Witchcraft course. Yes, that course really existed at NYU, and it was fascinating. It was commonplace in Europe in the 15th and 16th century to blame witches for many things, including stealing male genitalia and hiding them in birds’ nests. I read this as a metaphor, of course, for sex and female power. I never believed that that penises could actually be stolen.
However, according to Louisa Lombard of Pacific Standard, genital snatching is a crime on the rise in Central Africa. When traveling through the small town of Tiringoulou in 2010, Lombard encountered men afraid to so much as shake her hand because of two instances of penis snatching. I’m sure you’re wondering, as I was, how a penis can be snatched right out of a man’s pants. Keep reading »
I’m baaaaaack! Did you miss me? In this week’s episode of What We Missed, I break out my Google Translation app in order to discuss the perks of having a major language barrier when romancing someone. For example, you’re forced to really listen to each other. Also, we reflect on the death of Justin Bieber’s hamster, mostly to mourn the downfall of society that such a thing is even a Twitter trending topic and to rail against people (celebs and commoners alike) who adopt/buy animals when they’re not fully prepared to care for them. (Also, I reveal my own crazy super fan past!) And lastly, we chat about recent stats about when women finally go makeup-free in front of new boyfriends. Personally, I go barefaced pretty early, but totally sneak out of bed in the morning to brush my teeth before he wakes up. I put off exposing him to my morning breath for as long as possible! Watch the episode above and share your thoughts on all these stories in the comments!