The downside to getting laid, if there has to be a downside, is dealing with the aftermath. Once the guy has gone home, it’s just you and your vagina left to process the whole thing. This can become particularly panic-inducing if something’s itchy down there or if your period is late or days have gone by and you haven’t heard word one from him. This is when the beauty of the act gets tainted by extreme post-sex anxiety. Don’t let yourself spiral into a full-blown freakout. Really, it’s not worth losing your marbles over what is most likely a yeast infection. You’re going to be fine! Seriously! Everything is going to be OK! These animals have comforting words and friendly advice to help you with any sex-related freak out you might currently be experiencing.
“I’m willing to bet his problem is his balls … Balls cause the most bulges. His penis is not going down his pant leg like mine. I prefer constriction myself … As you get older, your balls drop and need support. If it’s his penis that’s causing the problem, he can point it up like European men … He needs to just nod and chuckle, but not answer any questions.”
– Jonah Falcon, the man with the world’s largest penis, gives Jon Hamm unsolicited advice on how to handle his bulge. I just kept reading this over and over again thinking, This isn’t real. Point it up like European men? Is that a thing? I’m dying.I’m sorry Jon Hamm, I know you’ll think I’m rude for posting this, I just couldn’t resist. [Huffington Post]
And you thought you had a rough day at the office: a prostitute in Zimbabwe passed out during sex with her john. As she was being placed inside a coffin, she suddenly woke up and began screaming, “You want to kill me!”, thus freaking everyone the f**k out. The woman, identified as MaNdlo, reportedly collapsed and “died” on the job at the Manor Hotel in Bulowayo, Zimbabwe. Authorities wasted no time putting MaNdlo inside a steel coffin, as they assumed her cold body mean she was dead. Nope! “It was like a movie,” The Huffington Post quoted a source ”People were running away in different directions. It was a scary incident because we were all convinced that she had died because she was just cold. Miracles surely do happen.” Or maybe people just need to learn how to take a pulse. [Huffington Post]
Good morning! Have you had your coffee yet? Great! Because you’ll need something in your system to help you digest these glorious photos of Brazilian “model” Sabrina Boing Boing breastfeeding a calf. Ms. Boing Boing, whose chief talent appears to be hiring herself out as a Pamela Anderson impersonator, posted the photos on Instagram, with the caption (translated from the Brazilian) “some things don’t need to make sense, just worth it!” Yes, just worth it.
This isn’t Boing Boing’s first erotic foray to the petting zoo. Last week, she posted topless photos of herself about to feed an ostrich, too. (Picture of that after the jump) Somebody get this woman a TV show. [Huffington Post]
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A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away … OK, it was last year in The Frisky office … I was going to get my first-ever (and last-ever) Brazilian bikini wax. I was curious, but also terrified. Pain and I are not friends. So I asked Amelia, my boss and friend and person who had made an appointment at the waxing spa at the exact same time as me so we could go together, if she would stay in the room with me and hold my hand. And you know what she said?
Fast forward to last week when, for some reason, Amelia was talking about a friend she once had who wouldn’t let her borrow her compact to check whether she had a tampon stuck inside her. She asked if we’d let her borrow the compact in such a situation. As a noted germaphobe, I said, “Um, no?” Cue hellfire and brimstone raining down upon me.
It’s clear to me now that when there are friends (and bosses) and vaginas, there are complex and varying levels of closeness. Let’s unpack them, after the jump: Keep reading »
Last week we asked readers to vote on a post they wanted me to write. The winner was 6 Myths About Squirting. Here it is!
Female ejaculation has been called the “one of the most hotly debated questions in modern sexology” because no one has been able to crack the code about how or why it happens. We can agree that squirting is the expulsion of fluid through and around the urethra during or before an orgasm. For most women, it’s the unicorn of sexual experiences, meaning we have only dreamed of meeting it face to face. This explains why there are so many urban legends about a friend of a friend of a cousin who could do it on command every time. And you’re like, “Gee thanks, that really helps me understand this thing.” It may be a while before we have definitive answers, but in the meantime we can break down some of the existing myths about squirting. Keep reading »