• Sex

Ask Grandma: Love Advice From A Snazzy Silver Fox

SimchaSeptember 15, 2009 //


My 85-year-old Grandma has got some serious game and an even hotter love life than I do. Still dating in her golden years, my grams finally settled down and moved in with her sexy new boyfriend. He’s 94, also a Holocaust survivor, and a total charmer. They spend the winters at her condo in Boca (that’s Boca Raton, Florida, natch), and the summers at his place in New York. Clearly, she knows what she’s doing when it comes to men! So, while she’s in town, I’ve been hassling my own personal dating guru to share her secrets with us Frisky gals. Last episode, she gave us the inside scoop on the best places to meet men, masturbation, sex back in the day, and having a porn addiction. But this time, I really went there and asked my grammy about dating friends, blow jobs, who should pay for a date, and anal sex. Yes, anal. What, did you think I’d let her get off easy?

Got a question for Simcha’s grandma? Email grandma@thefrisky.com—no topic is off limits for this silver fox! And she loves reading your emails. Keep reading »

Doin’ It With Dr. V: The Morning-After Pill

Dr. VSeptember 14, 2009 //

Over the weekend, I got an urgent letter from a lady who thinks she might be knocked-up. Here’s what she wrote:

“My boyfriend always pulls out when we’re having sex. He’s usually super reliable, but last night he slipped up and came inside me. I freaked at him, but then this morning I got my period, thank god. So I’m in the clear, right?”

Um, sorry hot stuff, the answer is no. You can get preggers even during your period. I know, it sucks, but that’s why I’m urgently answering your email. Lucky for you, there’s the morning-after pill (aka, Plan B). It’s an over-the-counter miracle! By preventing conception, it stops you from having to answer that existential question: Should I be a mom, right now? Keep reading »

Alabama Not Such a Sweet Home For The Sex Toy Industry

Jessica WakemanSeptember 14, 2009 //

In a supreme stroke of moronic-ness, this Friday Alabama’s Supreme Court upheld a 1998 ban on selling sex toys on Friday. It’s still perfectly legal to go Down South on yourself in private, thank God. But Alabama’s highest court said the legislature is allowed to ban the sale of sex tales in public, meaning it’s a crime to sell someone a vibrator or a paddle! A sex shop in Hoover, AL, called Love Stuff challenged the ban on the grounds it violated a horny person’s right to sexual privacy, yet the heat-addled judicial brains in Alabama upheld the ban as matter of public morality. Sorry, but the only thing morally wrong with this is making the good folks of Alabama wait 3-5 business days for a vibe to come in the mail. [The Birmingham News] Keep reading »

Will Not Wack For Jesus

Amelia McDonell-ParrySeptember 14, 2009 //

One dude is going to extreme lengths to stop himself from masturbating. Brian “Head” Welch, who used to play guitar is that awful band KoRn (yeah, I said it!) and is already heavily tattooed, has gotten JESUS tattooed across his knuckles so he’s deterred from playing his own instrument. How not metal. He explains:

“The Jesus tattoo on my hand keeps me from masturbating and I haven’t been with a woman since my ex-wife left me almost five years ago. I go to those extremes to be like Christ and it works for me.”

Now I know as well as anyone how hard it can be to get over a bad breakup, but seriously? [Needles And Sins]
Keep reading »

Sexy Tech: Vivid Entertainment’s Steve Hirsch Wants To Put Porn On PlayStation 3, X On Xbox 360 (Ex)

Annika HarrisSeptember 11, 2009 //

A few days ago the gaming news site Kotaku had an interview with Steve Hirsch, CEO of the Vivid Entertainment porn empire, about his hopes to deliver high-definition adult entertainment to the Playstation 3, XBOX 360, and Nintendo Wii over the PlayStation Network and similar services now that Sony has seemingly paved the way for such content in Japan, where DDM.TV now brings on-demant adult content to the PlayStation 3.

Via Kotaku:

“Our point is pretty simple,” Hirsch told Kotaku. “As long as age verification is in place that (Sony) feels comfortable with we see no reason why adults shouldn’t be allowed to access adult movies on the Playstation 3.”

Continue reading… Keep reading »

9 Sexy Things I Learned From Construction Workers

SimchaSeptember 11, 2009 //

I’m working from home today, and while I miss my special Frisky lady friends, I have to admit, I miss something else about going into the office more: strutting past the construction workers. Our office building is currently getting not one, but two new store fronts. So, everyday, I’ve got to walk past roughly a dozen sweaty studs handling their equipment. Am I the luckiest girl in the world or what?! Plus, despite how often they see me, they always manage to find new ways to describe my bang-ability on the daily. And I love them for it. (Although, I have yet to nail a handyman. Sigh.) But I have picked up a few sexy tips just from having all those dirty men around. I’m going to tell you what I know, but please help me pray that the Mexican restaurant and coffee shop stay under construction for a while longer …

Keep reading »

“Twilight” Porn Spoof Is For Hardcore Fans

Amelia McDonell-ParrySeptember 11, 2009 //
Imaginary Porn Spoofs
We'd like to see these TV shows spoofed in XXX. 12 Photos »
Jon & Kate Plus XXX
The Gosselins get the porn spoof treatment. Ugh. Read More »

Vampires, virgins, and porn are an obvious trifecta, so it should come as no surprise that a major adult film company, Devil’s Film, is putting out a “Twilight” porn spoof. Mega popular porn star Jenna Haze stars in this hardcore send-up of the emo vampire movie, out Oct. 15 (beating “New Moon”‘s arrival in theaters!). Getting Haze to star in your porn is like getting, oh, Kate Winslet to do your little movie because it gives it instant credibility. As for the plot? No word yet, but something tells me Edward probably shares his blushing Bella with the super horny Cullen clan. [Examiner, Film Drunk] Keep reading »

Playboy Jumps Into The Vampire Craze

Susannah BreslinSeptember 11, 2009 //

Here a vampire, there a vampire. “Twilight.” “True Blood.” “The Vampire Diaries.” These days, you can’t leave the house without running into another bloodsucker. Now, Playboy magazine has jumped on the bloodthirsty bandwagon with their new October issue. The cover is a pulp fiction tribute to hot girl-on-girl throat-bleeder action, starring Playmates Kasia Danysz and Weronika Zurkowska. Inside, the magazine explores the finer nuances of 21st century vampire life, including “why the undead are hot again.” You’ve come a long way, Dracula. [io9] Keep reading »

Why Do You Have Sex?

Ami AngelowiczSeptember 10, 2009 //

I just don’t know what to make of this new book, Why Women Have Sex, which claims to reveal the “real” reasons we ladyfolk do the horizontal polka. Authors Cindy Meston and David Buss interviewed 1,000 women and found some pretty shocking things. They say that 84 percent of the women surveyed claim to have sex just to “keep the peace.” Some other gems of reasons from the book include: “So he’ll take the trash out”; “To cure a headache”; “To relieve boredom”; “For presents”; and “Out of pity.” Even worse? (Cover your eyes, guys.) The book says, “Research has shown most men find most women at least somewhat sexually attractive, whereas most women do not find most men sexually attractive at all.”

What the #%&$? Excuse me. Hold on, please! Who were the 1,000 women interviewed for this book? These findings are total malarkey. Men of the world, I find you sexually attractive … I swear. And rest assured that I am not sleeping with you so you will take out my trash! Yes, there are many types of sex. But call me old-fashioned—I have sex (the majority of the time) because it feels f**king amazing and I want to connect with my partner. I am not at all satisfied with these findings, so I’m conducting a little research of my own. After the jump, some other better reasons why women have sex. Ladies out there in Friskyland, please add to the list so I have enough data to write a better book than this one! [News.com] Keep reading »

New Pills Make Semen Taste Like Apple Pie

SimchaSeptember 9, 2009 //

We ladies work so hard to heat things up in the bedroom. It’s a damn shame what we’re cooking up when we’re naked, never tastes that good going down — literally. Semen is hardly the fine wine of sexytimes. But Blue Mountain Nutraceuticals in the U.K. is turning the mouth-puckering lemons of love into, well, apples. Supposedly, you just have to convince your man to swallow first — swallow their Hard Apple pills (a completely vegetarian herbal supplement), that is. Sounds like we ladies won’t be the only thing doing his body good. After a week or two on the vitamins, his wad will really be a sweet release. Could these apple tablets that make your man’s load taste fruit-flavored be the new “American Pie”? Probs works better than Jason Biggs’ approach … but one thing is for sure, we’ll never look at whipped cream on apple pie the same way again. [ITB Innovation] Keep reading »

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