A couple of weeks ago we heard about a family who witnessed some ghosts getting freaky in their living room, but at least those humping haunts had the decency to keep their phantasmagorical paws to themselves. UK woman, Doris Birch, isn’t quite so lucky. For the last four months, the 73-year-old grandmother claims that she has been groped nightly by a ghost. “It’s like an octopus … I was lying in bed when I felt this creepy pair of hands. I kicked frantically and it went away. Next time it came I hurled the duvet on to the floor!” she said of her visitor. It’s obvious that she’s dealing with an incubus, a male demon that lies upon sleeping women and tries to have sex with them. Or she is suffering from dementia. Either one. Keep on clicking for more stories of (alleged) sexual encounters of the third kind. [Huffington Post]
There seems to be an influx in creepy football coaches, or at least in the public stepping forward to report them: An assistant coach at Staples High School in Westport, Connecticut is in trubs for allegedly providing freshman players with his personal username and password for a membership-only porn site. A student reported the incident to faculty members after he overheard the coach relaying the porno password to team members. The coach has since been suspended from his position and barred from any contact with team members or students. Helping young teen boys look at porn certainly does not compare in any way, shape or form to the sexual abuse that occurred at Penn State. But, still, a fully-grown male providing porn to 14-year-old boys is kinda gross, right? I mean, he knows these kids know how to use Google. [Deadspin]
Belinda’s OkCupid account opens with this message: “If you are looking for casual sex, please move on … If you are looking for formal sex, please move on as well. Actually, if you’re looking for sex in general, I’ll probably disappoint you.”
If you are acquainted with the orientation known as asexuality, Belinda’s profile makes more sense. Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction or interest in sex, and has become a formal orientation — or unorientation. This year asexuality even got attention in a documentary on the topic called “(A)sexual.” But Belinda isn’t asexual exactly … she is gray-sexual. Keep reading »
Ahh, Thanksgiving. A time of turkey, travel, tryptophan, and repeated viewings of “A Christmas Story” surrounded by family. If you’re coupled up in a relationship, you boo is probably in the picture, too, and perhaps-awkwardly negotiating an overnight bedroom situation. Will he be sleeping in your room (read: bed)? Will he be banished to the guest room with veiled threats from your mom that he’d better stay there all night? Did your normally-cool parents suddenly become sexytimes-Nazis? Why the hell is this such a big deal?! You share a bed all the time at your apartment!
Dear reader, I wish I knew. Parental figures can get weird about their kids’ sharing beds over the holidays, even when they know you’ve been dating for a long time … or have been living together for three years. There’s no sense in fighting it, unless you want to make the weekend awkward and put S-E-X on everyone’s mind. Whether he’s joining you and yours for the festivities, or you are joining him and his, here’s how to share a bed at a parents’ house without epic awkwardness. Keep reading »
A new study found that college guys with higher levels of testosterone (the macho ones!) were more likely to use condoms than their less manly peers. This initially confused researchers because high levels of testosterone are linked to risk-taking. And you’d think that unprotected sex is risky behavior. But no, the young men of today seem to feel that safe sex is the risky move. Why? Because it makes him more popular! Keep reading »
The other day I told you about Becky, the Dr. Laura guest who can only get off by humping the corner of her laundry basket, which she’s had since college. She admitted to preferring the basket her husband Steve’s really “large” penis. There’s no denying that clean laundry is sexy as hell, but it’s clear that her feelings for the laundry basket run deeper than that. Becky’s is not the only case of a person being turned on by — or even having romantic feelings for — an inanimate object. Click through to read about more people with objectum sexuality, otherwise known as a romantic desire for inanimate objects such as laundry baskets. [Oprah]
Sometimes insanity strikes from unlikely locations. For instance, this is a book about Catholics having sex, and what’s more normal than that? They reproduce like gremlins in a pool — and between nuns, school uniforms and Carmen Miranda, Catholics dominate the sexy costume industry. Keep reading »
To a young guy with not much money, sperm donation seems too good to be true. It pays well (as we’ve pointed out before) and requires you to do nothing more than what you’d be doing anyway. And if you happen to help a childless couple along the way, that’s just icing on the cake.
Having actually been a sperm donor, I can say that you had better be prepared for a long haul. There are a lot of (horrifying) hoops to jump through, and then sperm banks expect you to masturbate like … well, like it’s your job.
And it’s not an easy one. Read more…
Thanks to the new book, Stuck Up! 100 Objects Inserted And Ingested In Places They Shouldn’t Be, we now know that a Buzz Lightyear action figure should not go exploring inside an anus. Wait, I thought we already knew that? How did Buzz get up in there — feet first! — anyway? Forget it, I don’t want to know. I just want to gawk. This funny/weird/disturbing collection of X-rays of things that don’t belong in the human body will make you think twice before putting an iPhone in your vagina or a pair of bronzed baby shoes up your ass. [TMZ]