Jörg Sprave of The Slingshot Cannel took the Bill Gates’ Next Generation Condom Challenge and came up with this condom applicator slingshot gun. I don’t have a penis, but I think if I did, this method of condom application would scare the crap out of me. On a more positive note, I really enjoyed Jörg’s salutation to the Gates’: “Dear Mr. and Mrs. Gates, nothing fascinates male human beings more than guns and sex.” [Laughing Squid]
It’s Spring Cleaning Week here at The Frisky and we’ve shown you how to clean your makeup brushes, organize your beauty products, edit up your DVR queue, and even fix some cocktails that will make scrubbing your bathtub more bearable. (Do we know our readers or do we know our readers?)
But screw all that. I’m honestly not cleaning up squat unless my mom is coming to visit and then maaaaaybe I’ll put things in stacks and piles and spray scary chemicals all around the bathroom. What I’m more interested in is cleaning the area of my apartment that gets most of its traffic between 10 p.m. and 11 p.m. at night. How do I clean my vibrator? None of my condoms have expired right? (Not that I have lots of unused condoms around … no siree … I use all of them, like, all the time … )
How to spring clean your goodie drawer, or “Spring Cleaning For Sluts!”, after the jump: Keep reading »
You probably weren’t considering putting an eel up your ass today. But just in case you were, please let this terrible eel-in-anus tale dissuade you from doing such a thing. And if eel-in-anus tales are the kind of things that make you feel uncomfy, you probably should stop reading now because I’m going to regale you with all the deets, gory enough to make Richard Gere and his gerbil ass blush. Keep reading »
Hello there. I’ve spent a good portion of my morning trying to learn all there is to know about Pad Gardner, the guy who is trying to become a pink, disposable maxi pad. To quote Pad’s Tumblr “About Me” section:
“I am a guy that is becoming a pink disposable feminine pad, and later on I will be pressed against a soft vulva for a woman’s period … I have wanted to become a pad since I was 10 years old.”
In my stalking of Pad, I’ve grown quite fond of him. Not fond enough to let him be my pink, Kotex overnight maxi pad, but still, pretty damn fond. After the jump, I’d like to share everything I’ve learned about Pad and I hope you will grow to adore him the way I have. Keep reading »
Look, we’re not saying the Pope has anything to do with this, but somebody at the Vatican is getting their rocks off to some hardcore porn on the job. The folks at Torrent Freak discovered that someone with the Vatican’s IP address is downloading tons of very porny porn. Stuff like “Whipped Ass,” “Russian Slaves” and “TS Pussy Hunters.” Plus, a bunch of German pornography. You can see what some of this stuff looks like here, if you’re at home and wanna see some chicks spank and penetrate each other. (Yes, NSFW).
Aside from the porn hijinks, the Vatican’s getting into trouble in another way — they’re illegally downloading a bunch of shit. Back in January, a priest mentioned in an interview that they’d watched “Django Unchained” the night before. The only problem? They watched it in their “in-monastery film club.” Oh, and we’re kind of stoked that the torrent revealed that they’d also been watching “Love, Actually,” too. Big fan of that movie. Other Vatican favorites? “Chicago Fire,” British soap “Neighbours” and “The Americans.” Maybe there are some diehard “Felicity” fans at the old Holy See? [Torrent Freak]
I often find myself marveling at people’s innovative (and illegal) public masturbation sessions. Like the guy who emptied a vacuum cleaner in a neighbor’s home and then pleasured himself on the dirty floor or the woman who diddled herself on a Florida highway. I know both of these self-love sessions ended in arrest, and I don’t condone crimes where anyone feels violated, obviously, but I can’t help but be in awe of how much trouble they went through just to get off!
This week, William Blakely wins the creative/illegal masturbation award. The former Mount Carmel, Tennessee, Vice-Mayor is facing charges of indecent and reckless endangerment and criminal attempt to commit aggravated assault for jerking off out of the window of his car while he was driving 90 miles per hour. I mean, how do you even achieve that? Keep reading »
According to a new study of women Down Under — no, really, it was in Australia — women really are attracted to men with larger penises.
In the study, 105 women viewed naked men of various heights who all had flaccid penises and rated them on sexual attractiveness. As TIME explained, researchers found that shorter men with larger penises were seen as more attractive than shorter men with shorter penises and that tall men are kinda screwed because their height may make their penis look smaller. But have no fear, small dick-ed dudes: overall, women rated body shape as more important to attraction than penis size.
Frankly, we think any penis that isn’t bratwurst-sized works just fine. It’s not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean and all that. But that’s not to say certain penises don’t stick out (no pun intended) in our minds … Keep reading »