This is a little weird to say, but I’ve come across an app that makes tracking your period kind of, um, fun! It’s called Clue, and I’m convinced its pretty layout is what makes it so addictive. The design is bright and attractive but devoid of pink, flowers, or any of the other vaguely patronizing nonsense that is usually associated with periods or ovulation. I think it’s such a good idea to track the details of your period, because it feels like I have more control of my health somehow that way, but I’ve jumped between different boring apps and gotten sick of the monotony of recording it too many times to count. Clue, however, kind of feels like I’m playing a game when I use it — like Candy Crush but actually beneficial. When you open the app, you’re greeted by colorful cartoon clouds that change colors based on when your period is predicted to arrive. Like any lady health app, it also predicts the days you’re most fertile, and it uses a nifty circular chart in addition to a regular calendar. You can record your mood, PMS symptoms, sexytime activities, and other little tidbits using cute buttons that distract from the not-so-cute reality of those cramps you’re keeping track of. Our bodies are kind of amazing in their complexity, and recording this stuff always makes it a bit easier try understand. I’m totally into it. [Clue]
A new study published in the journal Sexologies confirms what I’ve long known to be true from personal, uh, research: a woman’s ability to orgasm is highly connected to her ability to focus her thoughts on her body. Keep reading »
Cosmopolitan, after almost 50 years of being one of the most aggressively heteronormative women’s publications from newsstand to screen, has finally decided to throw the queers a bone — specifically, 28 (ways to) bone, if you wanna get punnily Cosmo-esque — by publishing its first ever lesbian sex guide.
The NSFW slideshow up at Cosmopolitan.com has been garnering praise from mainstream media. “Finally,” said Salon.com, “Cosmo is reaching out to lesbians.” “Hurrah,” cheered Huffington Post UK. The coverage has accompanied acknowledgement of Cosmo’s recent forays into broader LGBTQ editorial content, with pieces like “8 Things Not to Say to a Transgender Person,” “14 Things You Should Never Say to a Gay Man,” and (the extremely wonderful) “My Life as an Invisible Queer.”
With wide circulation of the lesbian sex guide, Cosmo continues to ride a PR high on its perceived social progressivism. The Hollywood Gossip trilled the slideshow “will receive no criticism from any sane male OR female.”
So now, here I am, an Allegedly Crazy Female Gay, arriving right on cue to crash this positivity party. Keep reading »
High on my list of lifetime headdesks is a morning on which I set off to “sweep” a terrain park on a mountain to declare it open and I suddenly needed to pee. I was a ski patroller, wearing the heroic black bib and brace with the yellow medical cross on my back, so I skied under the ropeline, past the “closed” sign, and traversed past the ski jumps to take a piss. I had my suspenders and pants down around my ankles when I heard the telltale crunch of a snowboarder grinding to a halt just above me. His face dropped as we locked eyes. He mouthed a silent “fuck,” then kicked the board to face down the hill and took off.
Dear all: You do not beat a ski patroller down a hill. I yanked my pants up and skated after him, cranking my best G.S. technique until I cut him off. “Did you ski under a closed ropeline?!” I asked him rhetorically. “DO YOU SEE WHY THIS RUN WAS CLOSED?” He hung his head silently. “SHOULD ANYONE HAVE TO SEE WHAT YOU HAD TO SEE??” He shook his head. This was an existential question; he understood. I let him go. So many people saw my butt during my ski days. It was the peeing. Peeing in storm-force winds, peeing on 30-degree slopes, peeing as tourists in jeans whizzed by. Some of the most difficult peeing of my life, really. Keep reading »
Not satisfied with the size of your sausage? Feeling bad about the brat that you got? Is your wiener simply the wurst? Guess where 18 percent of all penis enlargements in the world took place. Find out on Huffington Post…
Happy National Orgasm Day! And for some of you, Happy Faking It Day! I can only hope that those of you who plan on commemorating today’s holiday will find success in your sexual endeavors, but I’m sure more than a few of you will end up flipping through “King of Queens” reruns and letting out an occasional moan while your oblivious but hopefully enthusiastic and determined significant other goes to town under the covers. It’s not always easy achieving the “Big O,” but it’s more tangible than catching a rainbow unicorn, I promise you. The struggle is real, and a lot goes through your head when you’re trying to hit those high notes. Here’s what you can expect to think step-by-step (in GIFs). Keep reading »