Tag Archives: sex advice

Dear Wendy: “We Don’t Have Sex Anymore”

Wendy AtterberryJune 29, 2011 //

My boyfriend and I have been dating almost a year. We used to have sex several times a day, but over the past six months it has decreased significantly. We are in an intense graduate program, so last semester both of us were quite swamped with work and lost our libidos. After the stress of the semester was over, things picked up again over winter break. But now, this semester, neither of us has the excuse of a “ton of work” anymore. I have asked him why we don’t have sex (at this point, it has been about three weeks) and his response is “because you’ve been mean to me recently, and when you’re mean it does not make me attracted to you.” That’s fine. I can work on being a nicer person and better girlfriend. But I feel like it’s a vicious cycle — I’m mean, so he doesn’t want to bang. But then I’m nice and since we are still not banging I freak out and get worried and thus become mean again. So my question: should I shut up and work on being nicer instead of expecting our sex life to turn around on its own? — Mean Girl

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Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: When Do You Tell A Dude Sex Is Off The Table?

Julie GersteinJune 10, 2011 //

Ladies, get ready, I’m about to have a TMI moment with y’all. A couple of months ago, I went on a date with a guy, and we seemed to really be hitting it off. He made a comment about coming back to my house when we finished up our drinks, and I was really into the idea, but I didn’t want him to get the wrong vibe about what might go down, so I flirtatiously told him that I was up for it, but I wasn’t going to sleep with him. And. He. Flipped. Out.

He turned to me and said, “Just think about how this sounds” and then repeated my words back to me. “I’m not going to have sex with you tonight.” And oh, boy, was he right. It sounded HARSH. Way harsh, Tai. (“Clueless” reference alert!) I was suddenly on the verge of tears. I felt like a major jerk! And so presumptuous! Had I totally blown it? But then, what was I supposed to do? I mean, I was just trying to avoid some really awkward making out moment. My intentions were good!

So, I figured I’d ask a few of the thoughtful gents on my IM list what they prefer women do in those sorts of scenarios. And boy, were the results mixed. The general consensus though, was I probably shouldn’t have handled it quite that way. Lesson learned. It’s a good thing I’ve only been doing things this way for oh, the last 15 years or so. (Blergh).

After the jump, guy advice on how to handle the awkward first (or second date) sex chat. Keep reading »

How Not To Respond When Your Partner Doesn’t Hit The Big O

Emily Heist MossMay 27, 2011 //

“You didn’t finish, did you?” he asked.

“No,” I said.

I’ve lied before, but I’m trying to wean myself away from it. Lying only adds a layer of mental unease to any lingering physical dissatisfaction I might be feeling, and assuaging false pride rarely seems like a good deal. The dishonesty (to myself) leaves a bad taste in my mouth; if he bothered to ask, doesn’t he want the truth? Keep reading »

8 Must-Haves For The Sex Toy Novice

AnonymousMay 9, 2011 //
8 Must-Haves For The Sex Toy Novice
My boyfriend and I are visiting a sex shop this weekend in an effort to take our love life to the next level. I bought a vibrator online once, used it a few times, lost interest, and started using my fingers again. Other than that, I am basically a sex toy virgin. And so is he. But we want to change that. I am determined for us to step into that sex shop as novices and walk out buzzing, vibrating, lubed up pros. Or at least on our way to becoming pros. I did some research, asked around, and made my sexy wish list. After the jump, some user-friendly items to get our toy life started. Your suggestions are more than welcome.
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Would You Engage In “Sex Bartering” With Your SO?

Amelia McDonell-ParryApril 25, 2011 //

I used to trade back rubs for blow jobs. Not with strangers, of course. With my boyfriend at the time. And not half-assed, sitting in front of him on couch with the TV on back rubs either; no, I’m talking lights off, candles burning, soothing background music, scented oil back massages for at least 20 minutes. When he was done, I would sit up, he would lie down, and I would return the favor with oral sex. I wasn’t half-assed about it either; it was often to fruition, although about 40 percent of the time — unless I was on my period — the back massage would get me revved up and we would end up humping. Either way, it was always a successful exchange of services that left both of us satisfied.

This is what Kelly Oxford, writing in GQ, calls “sex bartering,” and she suggests couples everywhere “put sexual favors on the table and start negotiating.” Keep reading »

Girl Talk: My Sister Taught Me How To Masturbate

Amy GallApril 14, 2011 //
Masturbation Myths
Dr. V dispels some common self love lies. Read More »

I was 14 and I was having slippery feelings. I was having them for Roelle, the sophomore with giant tits who told me she liked my shirt, before crawling under a wool blanket to make out with her boyfriend on the front lawn of the high school. I was having them for Eleanor, who told me it was her dad’s birthday the three times I asked her to hang out. I was even having them for Colleen, who was only 4’7”, and who ate her height in Taco Bell tacos, and who therefore smelled like she had been bathing in a vat of expired salsa. Keep reading »

The Frisky Guide To Sex For Couples With Different Body Types

Jamie BeckmanApril 14, 2011 //
View the Gallery / 5 Photos »

On Tuesday’s “Ellen DeGeneres Show,” teensy-tiny actress Hayden Panettiere, who’s 5-foot-1, told DeGeneres that fans are always approaching her and asking how she manages to have sex with her boyfriend, 6-foot-6 Ukrainian heavyweight boxer Wladimir Klitschko. “I get the rudest prudest people coming up to me, and they’re like, ‘Does it work?’” Panettiere said. “Yeah, it works. We find a way.” She went on to say that the people who are the most curious about their bedroom habits are conservative types. Well, call me a pervert (or would it be a prude?), but after I heard that little anecdote, I started to wonder the same thing about … well, everybody. It can’t be easy for Kim Kardashian, 5-foot-2, and her current ’baller beau, Kris Humphries, 6-foot-9, to get horizontal. Same goes for everyday couples with different proportions that we see walking down the street hand in hand. So how can partners who have totally different body types have the hottest sex possible? A few of the country’s top sexperts offered their opinions on the perfect down-and-dirty positions for “mismatched” partners…

How To Get A Guy’s Attention During Sex (NSFW)

Ami AngelowiczApril 13, 2011 //


The Onion’s sex guru, Rebeccah Rachel, delivers some amazing tips about how to keep a guy’s attention while he’s thrusting his erection at you. The accessory wall is a genius idea, as is throwing a ball at him in mid-pump. I’m surprised that Cosmo didn’t think of these tips first. But the best piece of advice she gives is to be yourself. A man loves blowing his load into a confident woman. I can’t wait to read her book. [The Onion] Keep reading »

Quiz: Can You Tell Real Cosmo Sex Advice From Fake BS We Made Up?

Amelia McDonell-ParryApril 11, 2011 //
Quiz: Can You Tell Real Cosmo Sex Advice From Fake BS We Made Up?
My standard response to reading the vast majority of sex advice printed in Cosmopolitan: “Oh, come ON!” I don’t think I could come up with more ridiculous sex advice if I … oh hell, I’ll give it a shot. In this quiz, each slide contains a piece of advice that either appeared in the pages of Cosmo or was pulled from the ass of a Frisky staff member. Can you tell the REAL Cosmo advice from the sex tips we just made up? (Answers revealed on the slide that follows and so on…) Tell us how you did on my little quiz and then feel free to share your own ridiculous and potentially dangerous FAKE Cosmo advice in the comments.
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7 Tips For Sexting Someone You Barely Know

CrackedMarch 26, 2011 //
23 Bad Sex Moves
Don't try these at home. Or anywhere. Read More »

The courtship process used to be a lot simpler. You used to cruise around in a Firebird and girls would be there, and then there’d be something called heavy petting, and then you were married. The whole process took about three weeks, and could be sped up if the Firebird had been recently washed. The only potentially tricky part was if you had to negotiate a dowry, and that usually wasn’t required unless your bride was Indian or incredibly ugly. Since then, things have gotten far more involved. With our cell phones and our STDs and our Craig’s lists, the courtship process has become incredibly complicated and dangerous, more filled with dangerous loners and viruses and spyware than ever before. Keep reading »

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