As someone who has identified as kinky for over a decade, both professionally and personally, I have to admit I was absolutely appalled when the 50 Shades trilogy first hit the mainstream. I read all three books, and as I read some of the myths and stereotypes, I had to do some deep breathing.
I couldn’t help thinking, “These are the books that have become the cultural reference point for kink?” As I thought this, a bit of my kinky little heart broke. But, my opinion has changed since then.
I still think the books are poorly written and that there is much better erotica out there. Regardless, these are the books that have everyone talking about sex and kink. At this point, the value of that far outweighs some tired writing clichés. Read more…
Sex. The word itself used to make people uncomfortable. But now, more than ever, women are branching out in their sexual behaviors, and discovering what gets them going. From incorporating sex toys in the bedroom to paging through 50 Shades of Grey, women are mixing it up and increasing their pleasure in the process.
It used to be that a woman needed a trench coat, dark sunglasses and a non-descript hat to cover up her curiosity while scanning the shelves at a sex shop. Now, it only takes a walk through the local drug-store to find name-brand vibrators in the aisle next to the condoms. The next time you’re feeling inspired to try something new with your partner, incorporate one of these five bold moves into the bedroom. Read more…
Grease may tell us that “Summer Lovin’” is a blast, but in reality, trying to get it on in the sweltering heat isn’t exactly super-comfortable. When the temperatures reach well into the 90′s, who even wants to have sex anyway? Most people would probably rather lay on the opposite side of the room from their partner and think about sex than actually indulge in it. Ugh, summer can be such a bummer for our sex lives.
But as animals with sex drives, it’s not always easy to keep yourself away from your instinct to mount each other, even if your air conditioner just broke and you’re pretty sure you just lost a pound of weight in sweat. If that’s the case, then do it. Just remember it could get, er, a little unpleasant. Here are some pointers:
Sweat. You will sweat. Fact. If you’re sitting in a pool of sweat, just think about how that sweat factor is going to triple or quadruple the second you start getting it on. If you’re not comfortable dripping in mass amounts of salty sweat in front of your partner, then you may want to wait until that air conditioner is fixed — or Labor Day, to make the “beast with two backs,” as Shakespeare called it. Read more …
Musicians may have more sex than your average bear, but as the bad advice covered in these lyrics show, they may not always know what they’re talking about. The following are some egregious examples of misguided advice. Keep reading »
Even if you’re a masturbation pro, there are still ways to spruce up your technique. Like having sex, there are many ways to masturbate and adding new things to your usual menu of choices is a great way to keep things exciting. Here are some tips, in Honor of National Masturbation Month:
1. Tool. Some women prefer their hands, others their collection of vibrators, and, as a few of my friends will attest to, a shower head with appropriate pressure can also be a great clit pleaser. If you’re usually a shower or vibrator person, try just your hand for a change and vice versa. You don’t really know just how hard you can orgasm if you don’t try different tools for satisfaction.
2. Mood. For many people, masturbation is a means to put horniness to an end or to relieve stress, but why should it stop there? If you’re having a horrible day, masturbate to take your mind off things and set your mood right. Or if you have pain in some part of your body, masturbating, again, can take your mind off that pain, at least for a few minutes, and do some heavy-duty soothing. Read more…
According to my mother, women don’t masturbate. The fact that I do, and she knows this because she reads what I write and I don’t find the need to keep quiet about the subject, is not only upsetting to her but further proof that I “act like a man.” A phrase both she and my father have used to describe me on several occasions. My father actually regards it as a compliment, while my mother is hoping her words will kick some sort of conventional ideas of how a lady should act into my brain. No such luck yet, mom.
Despite my mother’s thoughts on the subject, women do masturbate. In fact, a lot of them do — and do it often, and it’s pleasurable and makes for a better sex life. If you know how to get yourself off, then sex with someone else is that much more satisfying because you’re confident with yourself and know your body.
Here are five things that you perhaps didn’t know about masturbation. Hopefully these facts will make some of you more open to the subject. Let the climaxing begin! Read more…
Have you been watching “Savage U” on MTV? You should be! Frankly, I think the show should be required viewing for teens and college students, as Dan both hilariously and empathetically delivers some of the best and most straightforward sex and dating advice ever seen on TV or elsewhere. The first time I heard Dan (we’re on a first name basis), on his “Savage Love” podcast, talk about the importance of being “GGG” (“Good, Giving and Game”) in a relationship, my mind was kind of blown. So simple, but it encapsulates the exact dynamic I want to share with a partner. So it’s not come as any surprise to me that the advice he’s given on “Savage U” — airing Tuesdays at midnight on MTV — is just as straightforward and spot-on. Here are five bits of advice I especially loved. [MTV] Keep reading »
Over the last few years when I see couples a huge bone of contention comes up around masturbation or as some say, solo play.
I’ve notice that a small amount of partners are actually okay with their mates continuing on with their old masturbation schedules. Some are absolutely repulsed but the majority are more so hurt that they would even have the inclination to do so. For some reason, the idea of their partner masturbating feels like “they are being cheated on” and they feel left out. Read more …
When it rains, it pours.
You hear it all the time, and the implication, of course, is that there’s also a flipside: When it’s dry, it’s dry for ages. This is especially true when it comes to sex. Often it feels like the only thing you need to get a guy’s attention is another guy’s attention. Conversely, when it’s been awhile since you’ve done, ahem, the deed, it can feel like it’ll never happen again. Which, of course, it will. It’s only a matter of time. After the jump, for your reading pleasure, a list of helpful tips to get the ol’ ball rolling again. By which I mean: LET’S GET YOU LAID. It’s been too long. Keep reading »
My sister introduced me to the guy I’ve been dating for some months now. Our relationship could be summarized in two simple statements:
When I first saw him, my heart skipped a beat.
When he stuffed his tongue in my mouth, my eye twitched. Keep reading »