When I first began to put together the puzzle of my sexuality, the revelation that I had a rare fetish touched off a cascade of feelings. It began with relief, as I had finally figured out why penis-in-vagina sex had never worked for me. Later there was fear, as I wondered whether my desires were even safe to carry out in real life. But after a few months, everything had settled into a baseline of pure frustration.
It turns out that I’m into feederism—a fetish that revolves around fat, overeating, and weight gain. Four years of high-school sex-ed left me woefully unprepared for the reality of having unusual sexual needs, and in the beginning, I was almost entirely alone while trying to figure out such basic things as how to find the porn or how exactly to go about realizing my fantasies. For many years, I didn’t even know what keywords to type into Google in order to find the kind of porn I dreamed about (“fat,” unsurprisingly, tends to lead more to diet tips than videos of good-looking men joyfully eating entire cakes). When my girlfriends got together to compare notes on their sex lives, what was normal to them was no help to me at all. Even when I finally discovered a group of people that I was comfortable talking about my fetish with, I was still the only person in a group of 30 that had these particular needs. To that end, here are some of the things I wish I’d known when I discovered I had a fetish: Keep reading »
Whether you want sex more than your guy does or he desires more intimacy more than you do, the bottom line is this: out-of-sync sex drives can ruin an otherwise healthy relationship. Why is this? Because as long as one partner is always playing the role of “pursuer” and one partner is always playing the role of “rejecter”, someone’s going to start to feel resentful… and that’s where most breakups begin.
Now, this doesn’t mean you and your partner are necessarily headed for splitsville just because you’re not on the same page sexually. However, it does mean that you should to get to the bottom of your sex drive imbalance and work it out together — as a team. This is definitely possible for couples willing to put in a little bit of work. Read more at Your Tango…
Confession time: I was not down with period sex for a long time. Like, as long as I’d been having both periods and sex at the same time — or rather, having periods and not having sex during them. Why? Because gross. And because messy sheets. And because most guys are squicked out about it…or so I thought.
It turns out, I learned from a particularly patient and awesome partner, that actually the sex part of period sex is enough for some (maybe even most? I don’t know, I’m not a scientist) men to risk a little additional slipping and sliding. Essentially, period sex is just not the big, gross ordeal I was conditioned to believe it was.
However! Period sex does come with a lot of additional considerations. So, if you’re thinking about giving it a go, here are a few items to mull over: Keep reading »
Test drive these digital turn-ons and get jiggy with your iPhone, iPad or Android for $2.99 or less! Starting with…
It’s been brought to my attention by the couple conspicuously making out on Julie’s subway, the now infamous Lollapalooza finger banging pair (pictured above) and the viral video of the week which features a kid in the park standing nearby while his parents fuck that some couples don’t know what’s socially acceptable when it comes to PDA. Actually, it hasn’t just been brought to my attention. I’ve known this for a long time — since my first job as a hostess at Chili’s when I found two people doing it on booth. My reaction was to start crying. I was 16, so I forgive myself for that reaction. That was 20 years ago, so this compendium has truly been a long time in the making. But — deep breath — I can avoid it no longer. Below are some guidelines for displaying affection in public so that it’s not gross/weird/annoying to others. Keep reading »
Have a young girl in your life? Then here’s a blog post that you’ll want to email to her parent right now. Houston Press writer Jef With One F was appalled by all the garbage he had been reading online about the pro-abstinence “purity” movement, which teaches girls and young women they are only “pure” if they are virgins and that their fathers should be guardians of their sexuality until that responsibility is handed over to their future husband. It’s creepy, it’s heteronormative, and it’s paternalistic as hell. Oh, and it doesn’t work anyway! So Jef With One F wrote up this great listicle, “10 Things I Plan To Tell My Daughter ABout Sex That Aren’t Purity Movement Crap,” which is everything your daughters (and sons!) should hear instead, like:
You cannot be “ruined,” by an act. You can only be ruined if you let shame and self-loathing consume you, and even then there is always a path back into the light. This goes double for someone trying to convince you sex is evil. That person was either hurt badly or seriously misled.
Damn straight. Check out the whole piece for the best fatherly sex advice you can find. [Houston Press] [Image of father and daughter via Shutterstock]
Thank God for Yahoo! Answers. Where else would the befuddled, the curious, the totally clueless find out about life, love and sex? In today’s Very Special peak into the sordid Yahoo! Answers subculture, we’ll be looking at questions pertaining specifically to vaginas — what goes in ‘em, what comes out of ‘em, and what happens when you pee into one. Yahoo! Answers are great, especially if you’re having a bad day and you’re like, “well, at least I never tried to put hot sauce in my vagina. At least I have that.”
The vast majority of vagina-related questions are from anonymous concerned vagina-havers asking questions in the “what is this stuff coming out of my vagina” category, which are often duly answered by helpful Yahoo! Answers souls assuring the question-asker that it’s totally normal for vaginas to smell/bleed/leak fluid. But we’ve gone through and found some of the more out-there, desperate Yahoo! Answers questions.
[Confused woman photo courtesy of Shutterstock]
There are as many ways to have sex as there are people in the world, which of course is incorrect, and I can back that statement up in no way whatsoever. I’d say maybe there are as many ways to have sex as there are Pokemon. That could be reasonable. So there’s a lot, but not like an insane, unbelievable amount. That said, for all the ways there are to have sex, there’s an equal number of ways to ruin that sex, intentionally or otherwise; blunders that just make the whole situation a wash. Rarely do you ever legitimately want to give up on sex when it starts, but sometimes you must.
I wrote not too long ago about awkward situations that make you feel like a dick, and backtracking sex was the first entry, but clearly the entire subject deserves more depth, as some people went so far as to disagree with me that it was even a thing that ever needs to happen. Let me assure you it’s certainly a thing that needs to happen, and for more reasons than the hygiene and/or insanity examples I used in that article.
1. Dirty Talk Mishap. According to a survey conducted by a sex toy manufacturer, 80 percent of people enjoy the use of dirty talk during sex. Of course, that’s 80 percent of people who do surveys conducted by sex toy manufacturers, so we have to assume that, in the population at large, the number is somewhat lower. Read more on Cracked…
The funniest part about hook-up games, aside from the obvious, is that they typically commence at an age you aren’t really “hooking-up” much at all. At least not to the point where these games can really get interesting. Not that a good make out isn’t, arguably, the best thing ever.
Although, let’s be honest: these days hook-up games are likely not even being played by today’s youth anymore. In fact, I’d be shocked if anyone under the age of 21 has even heard of most of these. Not that I blame them, it’s a different era — who needs a riveting match of spin the bottle when you can just hop on Tinder or Adult Friend Finder?
Well, for now we’re going to forget this digital age, and the borderline disturbing ease in which it enables getting booty. Instead, we’re going relive the glory days of literally being tongue tied due to nerves with these seven games from the past … some may even call it seven minutes of heaven. And by some, I mean no one born in the ’90s.
1. Truth or Dare. Of all sexual games out there, this one is probably the only one that will continue to stand the test of time. Perhaps that’s because of it’s overwhelming versatility — from making someone run down the block naked to getting your friend to admit his secret crush, there’s really no end to the hijinks that can ensue. Read more on YourTango…
Having a partner with ejaculation problems is the best thing that ever happened to my sex life. He’s the love of my life and a passionate Duracell bunny of a lover who just keeps going until I’m satisfied, and (obviously, right?) I have no problems with my man’s inability to cum.
But while I’m writhing around with a satisfied smile of ecstasy at the end of another steamy marathon sex session, he worries he’s not a real man — and a quick search of Google shows he’s not the only one. There are no less than 182 million results for “I can’t ejaculate.” But despite this being a common problem there’s surprisingly little information out there about how to increase the chances of him climaxing.
With that in mind, my partner and I embarked on some (practical) research, and here are some tried and tested tips that should get even the most resistant of penises blowing their loads before you can say “baby wipe.” Keep reading »