Tag Archives: sex advice

The Nookie Know-It-All: Going Down

“Is there a secret to being awesome at oral sex? I’m not sure if I’m doing it well, and I’m not about to discuss my technique with my friends.” — Needing Lessons, Santa Fe, NM

The real secret to oral sex that nobody ever talks about is that you have to be into it! You know how passionate you get about buying shoes or watching the latest episode of America’s Next Top Model? Put that same gleeful cheer into fellatio, and you’ll have your guy going through the roof.

With that said, there’s a few “tricks of the trade” (I totally sound like a hooker) that will spice up the average beej. My favorites, after the jump… Keep reading »

The Nookie Know-It-All: Spicing It Up In The Sack

“Lots of things about my relationship are great, but the sex is vanilla — my boyfriend is weirded out by my collection of sex toys, and isn’t willing to experiment. What should I do?” — In Need Of Spice, New Orleans, LA

I think this depends on what kind of toys you have. If your collection is filled with gag-balls and strap-ons, I can’t say I blame your boyfriend for feeling uneasy. On the other hand, if all you want to do is lock him to the bed with furry pink handcuffs, there’s some room to negotiate.

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The Nookie Know-It-All: A Magnum Man

“I am dating a new guy and I want to have sex with him, but he’s extremely well endowed. If I start having regular sex with him will I stretch my vagina permanently?” — Dating Mr. Big

Unless his penis is the size of a 9 lb. baby, the answer is “no.” Vaginas have a lot of natural elasticity, and even expand with arousal. The width of a large penis is not likely to stretch your vagina any noticeable amount.

If this is an issue you’re worried about, try doing daily Kegel exercises. Kegels are like pilates for your vagina, tightening the muscles that surround the urethra, vagina, and anus. If you’re not sure which muscle to contract for this exercise, try testing it out while you’re peeing. The muscle you use the stop the flow of urine is the same one you should contract for kegels. Start with reps of 10 a day and increase as needed.

Now go have sex, my child!

Got a burning question for our amazingly wise Nookie Know-It-All? Email it to sexpert@thefrisky.com. Don’t worry, we’ll keep your deets between us. Keep reading »

The Nookie Know-It-All: Makin’ A Break

“What’s the best way to exit an awkward morning-after?” — Pullin’ The Slip in Akron, OH

Planning a hit and run? The best way to get out of dodge is usually the most obvious. Tell your boy-toy you’ve got plans. If it’s a weekday, tell him you’ve got an early work meeting. If it’s a weekend, tell him you’ve got brunch plans with your girlfriends. If you’re not into this guy, be sure you don’t sugarcoat the goodbye speech, or you could get a stage-five clinger. Try not to say things like, “I’ve got to go, but I really want you to call me.” Or, “I’ve got to run but I’d love to see what our kids would look like.” If he tries to ask for your number on the way out and you don’t want to talk to him again, use the same line girls have been hearing for years: tell him you had a really nice time last night, but you’re just getting over somebody and aren’t ready to start something new. You might break his little heart…but at least you won’t have to break your phone.

Got a burning question for our amazingly wise Nookie Know-It-All? Email it to sexpert@thefrisky.com. Don’t worry, we’ll keep your deets between us.
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The Nookie Know-It-All: Pregs On The ‘Rod

“Can you really not get preggers if you have sex on the last days of your period?” — Hating Condoms, Cleveland, OH

How many times have you heard an “Oops” story? Every Christmas there’s always that relative that drinks too much eggnog and says something like, “You know, Larry was a mistake. We were done having kids. We wanted to go to Bermuda.” I’m sure if Larry was a lawyer and not still living with his mother, she wouldn’t say that. But you get my drift.

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The Nookie Know-It-All: Freaking Fabio

“My boyfriend put on a long blonde wig for Halloween and it really turned me on. Am I a lesbian, or do I just like Fabio-look-alikes?” — Bodice Ripping, San Francisco, CA

Funny you should ask. I’m lying in bed with my laptop (I’ve got “the cramps”) and I was just watching my boyfriend jokingly show off his legs to me. He’s honestly got the best legs I’ve ever seen (for a guy OR a girl), and now I want to dress him up like a girl and do him. Am I a lesbian?? The thought of going down on a girl does nothing for me, so I’ll take a wild guess and say no. I’ll go ahead and say the same for you. Women are just hot, and I think when we catch glimpses of “womanly” things we tend to get aroused by them. I think it also has to do with a certain “control factor.” It’s human nature to view women as submissive creatures. So when you see your boyfriend in a more volatile role (dressed as a woman), I think it’s normal to want to dominate and get turned on by the thought of it.

And no…it’s not a Fabio thing either. Unless you’re obese and have socialization issues. In which case, I’m sorry.
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The Nookie Know-It-All: Party Sex

“My boyfriend and I feel the need to have sex at most apartment/house parties that we go to. Is this weird? And what are some of the best ways to pull it off without getting caught?” — Party Crashing, Dallas, TX

This is kind of like my need to do a number two at people’s parties. It’s a christening of sorts. Or, simply a marking of territory. But even though I’m the resident “sexpert”, I can honestly tell you I’ve never had sex with a guy at a party. With that said, I don’t think you’re weird. I actually want to know what kind of parties you’re going to where you can find space to have sex. I live in NYC, so the parties I’m invited to usually involve a studio apartment and an oven in the closet. The closest I ever got to “doing it” was changing a tampon in the bathroom.

My advice? The larger the party the better. The larger the house the better. If you want to be discreet, go into an unoccupied room and lock the door. Worse case somebody knocks on the door and then you stop. I think if you’re having sex at parties in the first place, a part of you wants to get caught. That’s why I poop with the door open. Keep reading »

The Nookie Know-It-All: Threesome Etiquette

What are some easy steps to having a threesome where no one gets hurt? — Menage A Trois, Greenwich, CT

You’d think there’d be a Threesome for Dummies or Emily Post’s Guide to Entertaining Your Third Party…but alas, there’s not. Instead, you’ve got me.

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The Nookie Know-It-All: Down There Hair

Do guys REALLY care if you aren’t waxed or shaved down there? — Razor Ready, Virginia Beach, VA

I think women’s vaginas are like men’s faces. You’ve basically got three options: The clean-shaven, the week’s worth of stubble, or the mountain-man variety. At the end of the day, it’s all about preference. You might like your man with a baby-smooth face. He might want you to look like a tumble weed and call him mommy during sex. The bottom line is, everybody is different.

Whatever option you go with, I think it’s safe to say your landscaping habits are not going to prevent guys from having sex with you. As long as a guy doesn’t need a degree in bushwhacking to date you, I’m pretty sure you’ll get lucky.
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The Nookie Know-It-All: The Even Bigger O

Is it possible for a woman to have a vaginal-only orgasm — no clitoral stimulation at all? — Wondering About The Big O, Dallas, TX

Well, the answer is SOME women can. A vaginal orgasm is triggered by stimulation of the infamous “G-spot,” located on the upper/front vaginal wall, behind the urethra (think of it as facing the stomach). Up until recently, it was thought that all women might have one. Now, the debate seems to be settled. With the help of ultrasounds, researchers recently found that not all women possess this magical spot. In a group study, the G-spot area was significantly thicker in women who claimed to have vaginal orgasms, and invisible in women who did not.

So, the cause of this? Well, it seems to be genetics. So blame (or thank) your Mom for your lack of vaginal orgasm, not your boyfriend.
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