My 85-year-old Grandma has got some serious game and an even hotter love life than me. Still dating in her golden years, my grams finally settled down and moved in with her sexy new boyfriend. He’s 94, also a Holocaust survivor, and a total charmer. They spend the winters at her condo in Boca (that’s Boca Raton, Florida, natch), and the summers at his place in New York. So, while she’s in town, I took the opportunity to ask my own personal dating guru to share her secrets with us Frisky gals. Here’s what Grandma’s got to say about the best places to meet men, masturbation, sex back in the day, and porn addiction. What, you think I’d let her get off easy?
Got a question for Simcha’s grandma? Email email@example.com — no topic is off-limits for this silver fox! Keep reading »
In Jamie Bufalino’s sex column in Time Out New York this week, a 30-year-old straight woman writes in to tell Jamie about a super-embarrassing moment she experienced during sex with her new boyfriend recently. She says:
This evening we are fooling around and I am straddling him but no actual intercourse. All of a sudden—OMG Jamie, I can’t even write this—I felt some sort of warm liquid under me…I don’t know WTF happened, there seriously was no warning whatsoever…but somehow, my body released runny, watery, disgusting, liquidy s**t. Not a lot, but definitely enough. Again, no signs of it coming, no stomach gurgling, no slipped fart, nada. Just straight-up liquid s**t. I stopped immediately, hopped into the shower, and wanted to curl up and disappear. He was actually very polite and understanding about it. I want to know, how the hell did this happen?!? Why was there no warning?!? I’m so disgusted and humiliated that I don’t know if I have the courage to ever see him again.
Keep reading »
Well, it was bound to happen. Porn company Lethal Hardcore Video has spoofed the Sarah Palin/David Letterman feud for a flick called, ahem, “F**k My Mom and Me.” In the dirty movie, “Letterman” has sexual relations with both the former Governor (“Sara Paelin”) and her daughter (“Bristhole Paelin”). Has porn finally gone too far?! I’m sure Palin thinks so, but this is just another example of the negative side of putting your family in the limelight (and People magazine). As for the mother/daughter theme, this is hardly new. Porn with incestuous themes are pretty common — I’ve seen (and by “seen” I mean, uh, glimpsed, not watched) porn where two actresses, playing mother/daughter, sisters, etc. schtoop each other. I’ve even seen some twin porn and what’s icky about that is that it’s hard to fake identical twins. [AVN.com] Keep reading »
British sexpert, Bettina Arndt, asked 100 couples to keep diaries about their sex lives for a year. In her experience, spicing things up can really solve any problems in the bedroom and that’s what she was hoping to prove. While she expected to read some salacious tales of romantic rendezvous, what she got really put the love in love life. People bared their souls and divulged their deepest, darkest feelings — wait, men have feelings?! Just kidding! Arndt has just published her findings in The Sex Diaries: Why Women Go Soft And Other Bedroom Battles based on what the couples wrote in their journals. It sounds like the perfect summer read, but if you’re like us circa high school, you’d rather skim the Cliff’s Notes. Here are eight reasons why couples stop having sex. [Daily Mail] Keep reading »
This week I got a letter from a teeny bopper, who just can’t seem to “She Bop,” if you know what I mean. She wrote:
I’m 19, have never had a boyfriend, and am still a virgin.
I’m not coming to you for relationship advice; the way I see it I don’t need a man right now. The thing is, as I’m sure you know, sex dominates culture. Just because I’ve never done it doesn’t mean I haven’t heard stories, and it’s made me pretty damn horny. I’m kind of curious about masturbation, but I feel like I’m just doing it wrong. Nothing seems to really get me there. Do you have advice for a beginner like me?
Well, honey, even a ho like me will tell you that there’s no rush to lose your virginity — especially if you’ haven’t orgasmed on your own first! Lettin’ some dude sock it to you before you know how to get off isn’t gonna do it for ya. No man is that good. You’ve got to take your O into your own hands! You’ve got to solve, or rather diddle, your own ecstasy riddle. So, all that work you’ve been doing feeling around down there, even if it hasn’t finished the job, is a good start! Now here’s how you can take yourself all the way home. Keep reading »
“Hi Kristen, I have a problem that I think many women might have. I am a little embarrassed to have my boyfriend see me completely nude. To me my body seems just average I guess, nothing spectacular and certainly not one I would call sexy. However, my guy likes to see me undress and worse, likes to have the lights on during sex! To be fair to him, he has never made a negative comment about my body. On the contrary he seems to like it! I can’t help but wonder though, what is he really thinking when he sees me naked!”—–Callie
What’s he really thinking when he sees you nude? Two words: eye candy. And quite honestly Callie, he’s more than likely not thinking at all! Continue reading…
Keep reading »
We’re written about dog sex toys before and didn’t think we’d ever have the opportunity to write about them again, but, well, SURPRISE! The thing about this particular doggy sex doll, made by Brazilian pet toy company Petsmiling, is that it’s, uh, anatomically correct. The doll is described by the company as “a female canine manufactured in soft rubber with a silicone vagina and an easy to clean reservoir.” Two thoughts. 1) How sexist! Where is the boy version? 2) Not even the most insane pet lover like myself would be cool with cleaning out that “reservoir.” They should really make one that is dishwasher safe, amiright?! [Paw Prints Magazine via BuzzFeed] Keep reading »
This week, I got a letter from a lady who is wondering if she can let her date play Moses and part the Red Sea.
“I have recently been flirting with an old hookup and we have both been hinting at wanting to rekindle the affair. We live in different cities, and he is coming to visit this weekend and I have a suspicion that we’ll be having sex. Unfortunately, my period is due to come on Friday! How do I go about having sex during my period without getting everything messy and/or grossing both of us out? I read that you can have sex while wearing the Instead Cup, so I’m totally on that one and hope it works!” —
Keep reading »
According to a new study by Trojan condoms, the average American has sex 84 times a year. Just to put it in perspective, that’s seven dozen donuts, two sets of dominoes to get up, the number of keys you can tickle on a piano, and double the age of silver fox Anderson Cooper — that’s how much ass the average person gets. And 73 percent of dudes and 53 percent of women say they still want more. Hey, join the club! I have to say, 84 doesn’t seem so bad to single-gal me. Sheesh, all this “research” is making me wonder, did the magical penis fairy forget me? Or is this a clever ploy by a condom company to get me to slut it up? Either way, I was downright surprised by how much everyone around me said they’re getting it. How much sex are you having, Frisky readers? Give it up in the comments. Also, let me know how you handle all the chaffing. Note to self: Quit everything to make enough time for sex. I will not be outdone by my fellow Americans! Apparently, it’s my patriotic right to be satisfied. [Seattle Pi] Keep reading »