Yesterday, I broke down for dudes why gals won’t have sex with them, even if we totally had a hot successful date. But what if you don’t even get the chance to play coy? Nothing is more perplexing than a guy not trying to put the moves on you, when you’re clearly interested in him. So we decided to ask our man panel WTF?! Aren’t your penises hard-wired to pounce anything they can? Shouldn’t we just be able to snap our fingers and make guys our sexytime machines? NO?! Well, their reasons are just as shocking…
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Dudes of the world: You are very sexy. You are very tempting. You are very hard … to say no to. Believe me! But sometimes, my V isn’t willing to accept the gift that is your P. So before you go getting down on yourself, here are the real reasons I won’t have sex with you after a date, even if it went well… Keep reading »
This week I got a letter from a lady who is learning that love may hurt, but sex can leave a bruise: “I met a guy who’s shaping up to be pretty awesome. Except, he squeezed my boobs so hard the other night that i woke up the next morning with black and blue bruises from where his fingers were. Needless to say, next time I see him, we’ll be having a little chit-chat. Or will we? Because when I look in the mirror instead of thinking, ‘Ew, those nasty marks are GROSS!’, my thought process is more along the lines of, ‘Hell yeah, I got some last night!’ I generally have the same reaction when I get hickeys, even if it’s a pain to cover them up and they look horrendous. Is it strange to take pleasure in getting sex scars?”
Yeah! You got some! [Insert victory dance here.] Meanwhile, I was just watching “Project Runway.”
Anyway, I once was in love with a biter. One night, he chomped down on my nips so hard I couldn’t wear a bra for two days. It hurt so good that I’m not even embarrassed to say I like the John Mellencamp song of the same name! No need to be disgusted by yourself. Maybe you’re just discovering that you’re into S&M like a lot of peeps, including yours truly. Psst, I’m an easy bruiser too.
Battle wounds are cool, and love marks are a source of pride — that is, unless they embarrass you at the office. Here’s how I cover ‘em up to save corporate face… Keep reading »
FINALLY. Someone has created an online guide on how to have sex in a Snuggie. Your erotic Snuggie prayers have been answered. If you thought it was impossible to have sex while wearing a blanket, you were dead wrong. Check out The Snuggie Sutra if you want to find out how to do it with your Snuggies on. From The Manket (which looks like Snuggie missionary) to The Chaps (which looks like Snuggie reverse cowgirl), The Snuggie Sutra has all your dirty Snuggie sexual position options, er, covered. What’s next … Snuggie porn? [Snuggie Sutra] Keep reading »
Dan Savage, sex advice columnist extraordinaire, recently blogged that he is shooting a pilot this Thursday for a possible HBO show based on his column, “Savage Love.” The idea of the show is to examine current events and cultural trends through the lens of sex, he explained. Guess HBO just doesn’t feel right with “Sex and The City” gone, huh? Keep reading »
We Frisky gals are obsessed with “True Blood.” These vamps we’d be happy to fang bang, no wooing necessary. I mean, have you seen Eric, shirtless and six-packed? As if being a stone cold fox with centuries of experience in bed wasn’t hot enough, the vamps on the HBO show can also glamour peeps. They stare deep into someone’s eyes until they melt like putty, agreeing to just about anything and everything. Magic! If only it were that easy for we mortal hos. But we’ve still got some skills! Here are some ways we women can bewitch a man into thinking we’re perfect prey.
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When it comes to orgasms, we all are left wondering what will make the magic happen for us. For ladies, sometimes seeing an impressive instrument is believing. Heck, even I obsessed over “How To Predict The Size Of A Penis.” But does the distance of his dong really matter when it comes to coming? Keep reading »
It’s called the money shot. In straight porn it involves the male giving the female what is euphemistically called “a facial.” (Not the kind from Bliss Spa.) In some porn films, the facial is played up to emphasize his humiliation of and domination of her, but in other porn flicks, the money shot is just something the actors do. In real life, I suspect facials happen more for pleasure than for humiliation, seeing as women have a little thing called self-respect. But when I recently mentioned facials in my 10 Things Women Forget To Do During Sex piece, a hootenanny of condemnation—and defense—broke out in the comments section of that post. Keep reading »
It’s hard to believe it’s been over 20 years since I suffered through awkward sex-ed videos of swimming, talking sperm and dancing ovaries in junior high. Feeling a little nostalgic, I did a search for “vintage sex ed” on YouTube this morning and found this gem from the ’70s. Poor Ricky! Not only does his mom walk in on him at the most inopportune time, she proceeds to ruin any chance he might have to “feel good” in the future. Then again, as her voice plays back at the end, it’s hard not to wonder if maybe she didn’t just give him more fodder for the job… Keep reading »
Ladies, I think we’ve all experienced that not-so-satisfying moment when we are ready for the ship to pull into the harbor, but the sail just won’t rise. An unfortunate experience for all parties involved. Well, I may have just found a too-good-to-be-true solution—Sexlets Gum For Him. That’s right. Have your man chew his way to a hard-on with this gum that claims to be a sexual enhancer formulated to help increase size, erection potency, stamina, energy and satisfaction for you and your dude. Worried about the side effects? Lighten up. It contains an “all-natural” blend of herbs and supplements which cause an increase in blood flow. And on top of all of that, it’s good for his breath! Screw Orbitz. This is the kind of gum I should be carrying around in my purse. Next time a dude asks me for some gum, I will slip him a Sexlet and just watch that ship sail. It’s a win-win. Keep reading »